chapter 13
Seth.
Oh gods, I was staring at Seth. He was here. Impossible, but he was here with me.
My heart raced in a chaotic rhythm as I pressed away. So afraid, so terrified by his sudden appearance, I couldn’t catch my breath.
His arms formed a cage around me. I didn’t dare move, for his skin was too close to mine, his lips a fraction of an inch away. His amber eyes glowed under thick, dark-blond eyelashes. Marks of the Apollyon raced over up his neck, spreading over his cheeks in a vibrant wave of blue over his golden complexion. My own marks responded to his proximity, causing my skin to tingle. The cord snapped alive.
The force of Seth’s presence was everywhere, invading my body and thoughts, but when I finally breathed in, the scent was all wrong. It was earthy with a hint of sea salt. Aiden.
Seth’s lips curved into a satisfied smile and he placed his mouth near my ear. “I told you, Alex. I’d find you anywhere.”
My mouth opened, but my scream was strangled by the lump of terror in my throat as I twisted to the side and jerked awake… awake.
Pulse pounding, I sat up and the bedroom slowly came into focus. My frantic gaze traveled the room, searching out the shadows for any sign of Seth. A sliver of moonlight seeped in under the blinds, spreading across the floor, its fingers brushing over the antique dresser. Under the bathroom door, a slit of yellow gleamed. Other than the tingling marks, there was no sign of him.
It was just a dream—a nightmare. Nothing more, but the adrenaline kicking around inside me begged to differ.
The bathroom door opened and Aiden filled the doorway. Lit by the soft glow of the light behind him, he was a study of shadowy contrasts—shirtless and wearing only a pair of pajama bottoms that hung low on his hips.
That didn’t help my heart or breathing problem.
The light behind him flipped off.
“Alex?” He moved silently to the bed, dipping down beside me. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”
I shook my head.
His head tilted to the side and dark hair fell over his forehead. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I croaked out, feeling ridiculous now for overreacting to a stupid nightmare.
Aiden reached out, stopping with his hand a hairsbreadth from my cheek. He pulled away, settling onto his back. One arm stretched out, beckoning me. Stretching out beside him, I placed my head on his shoulder, my hand on his chest above his thundering heart. His skin was warm, comforting.
Several heartbeats passed in silence while his heart slowed down. Why it had been beating so fast, I didn’t know. I snuggled closer, fitting my body to his side, and his arm curled around my waist. I felt his jaw graze the top of my head, and then his lips pressed against my forehead.
I squeezed my eyes shut, wanting to tell him about the dream, but instead, something else came out. “They cut out my father’s tongue, Aiden. He can’t talk. They did that to him.”
He seemed to hold his breath for a moment.
“Why would they do something like that?” I asked, and my own voice sounded incredibly small and fragile.
“I don’t know.” His hand came up, pressing between my shoulders, moving in a soothing circle. “There isn’t any justification for something as horrific as that.” There was a pause. “I’m sorry, Alex.”
I nodded, squeezing my eyes shut. We needed to do something about the Breed Order, and I knew Aiden would agree, but discussing something so political at two in the morning seemed out of place.
Stretching up, I placed my lips to Aiden’s, but the kiss turned out more chaste than the hot and steamy action I was going for. His arm tightened, though, and a fine tremor coursed through his body as if he was fighting the pull between us.
Confused, I ceased my attempt at seducing him, since it really wasn’t working, and settled back down, heart racing again. Why hadn’t he kissed me back? Was he still upset over my bratty display earlier while training with Solos? If so, then geez, there was nothing I could do to fix that. Or was it something else? Like the regret and sadness that flashed in his gray eyes?
Out of the silence that had fallen in the room once more, Aiden said, “I love you.”
There was no missing the heavy thread of emotion in his voice. My breath caught. Even with my failed seduction attempt, hearing him say those three little words was something I’d never get tired of. “I love you, too.”
Very little time later, the steady rise and fall of Aiden’s chest deepened. I stayed in his embrace, staring through the darkness at the empty wall across the bed for what seemed like hours before I carefully disentangled myself from his arms and crept out of the bed.
Unable to sleep or stay put, I found a pair of sweats in the darkness and drew them on, rolling the cuffs at the bottom. My bare feet padded off the wood floors as I slipped out of the door and headed downstairs.
The house was tomb-quiet and chilly. Folding my arms, I piddled around in the kitchen, even though I wasn’t hungry or thirsty. Restless and wide awake, with no idea of what to do, I made my way to the sunroom.
It was colder in there, but in a weird way, surrounded by all the plants and windows with nothing but darkness looming outside, it was peaceful.
Sitting at the window seat, I tucked my legs against my chest and stared out one of the windows. Too much was running through my head - my father, training again, the Breed Order, Aiden and his sudden resistance, everything that was happening outside these walls, and…
And I was thinking about Seth, courtesy of the nightmarish visit.
A sharp slice of panic pierced my belly. What had happened had to have been a nightmare. Which was completely understandable considering Seth was pulling a Doctor Evil right now. It couldn’t be anything else, so I needed to stop freaking over it. But that low buzz in the back of my head—it was still there and it signified that, no matter what I did or how strong I was, I would always be connected to him.
And that he could possibly still reach me.
That anxious pang was back, spreading to my chest. I squeezed my eyes shut. Fear was a sour taste on the roof of my mouth. Could that nightmare really have been Seth reaching out to me?
I checked my mental shields. Almost like running my tongue over my teeth after Jackson had stomped me in the face during class, I poked and prodded at the shield, making sure nothing had been knocked out of place or loose. The shield was sturdy, but the traces of alarm lingered.
When I’d been connected to Seth after I’d Awakened, I could hear his thoughts as clear as my own.
I rocked back a little, squeezing my legs until my arms ached.
Seth had really seemed like he’d been here tonight, leaning over me and whispering his warning. Even my nightmares from what had happened in Gatlinburg hadn’t been that real, and they’d been pretty damn visual.
Footsteps neared the sunroom and my head snapped up. “Marcus.”
He was still dressed like he’d been at dinner, jeans and a tailored flannel shirt—a sure sign he hadn’t gone to bed yet. “Up a little late?” he asked, leaning against the doorframe.
I gave a lopsided shrug and kept my arms locked around my knees. “I’m not sleepy.”
“You were dragging all evening. I figured you’d sleep another day away.”
It wasn’t like I could tell him the truth, so I said nothing.
Marcus hesitated in the doorway and then strode forward, sure and strong. I watched him wearily as he sat beside me, taking the same spot Laadan had when we’d spoken. Several tense, uncomfortable minutes passed, and although Marcus and I had come a long way, we still had mountains to climb before things weren’t so epically awkward between us.
He placed his hands in his lap and sighed. “Are you feeling well, Alexandria?”
So formal… “Yeah, like I said, just not sleepy. How about you?”
“Was out patrolling and just switched out with Solos.” He cast me a quick sidelong glance. “I’m not sleepy, either.”
I turned back to the window. “Do you guys think it’s necessary to patrol?”
“Some of it may just be out of habit, especially for Aiden and Solos, but stranger things have been known to happen.”
Surprised that he answered honestly, I faced him. With my Apollyon sight, I could make out the lines of his face in the shadows. Another shocker came when I found his expression was open. “And even though the gods might not be gunning for us this very second, that could always change,” he said. “So we watch… and we wait.”
I didn’t say anything for a long moment. “I hate that.”
“What?” Curiosity marked his tone.
My hands curled into themselves, balling next to my thighs. “That people would so willingly give their lives away to protect me. I hate that.”
Marcus twisted toward me and then leaned his head back against the window. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but it’s not just you that we’re protecting, Alexandria. There’s Lea and Deacon, Olivia and Luke. Three of them are trained to a certain extent, but not against gods or a horde of daimons. Even though a daimon attack out here seems unlikely…”
Stranger things had happened. I nodded.
His vibrant eyes slid close. “It’s not always about you.”
My mouth worked on a refusal. I didn’t think it was always about me, but wait… I kind of sort of did by assuming that everyone was throwing themselves in front of a bus for me. My cheeks burned.
“I didn’t… I didn’t mean it like that.” I took a breath. “Well, I kind of did, but I know you guys are protecting them, too. And that’s… that’s a good thing.”
His shoulders relaxed. “And I didn’t mean how that came out.”
I laughed and the sound surprised me. It wasn’t forced or snarky, just amused. “Yeah, you did, and I get it. I’ve been riding the Alex-Is-Important train for quite some time.”
One eyebrow arched.
The urge to laugh came again, but I stopped it and placed my cheek on my knees. “I’ve been… uh, I’ve been a handful. I know that. Most of the time it was on purpose.”
“I know,” was all he said.
“You did?”
Marcus nodded. “You’re like any child—”
“I’m not a child.”
His lips curved up at the corners. “You were like any child who was seeking for a place to fit in. It’s especially hard with you half-bloods. Many of you come from unhappy homes, or no homes at all. The environment you’re raised in is violent and aggressive. I’ve seen so many…” He shook his head slightly. “Anyway, you were different, though.”
I glanced toward the empty question. “Why?”
“For starters, you’re my niece.”
“Wow.” I blinked, loosening my grip on my legs. “I’m surprised that the first thing wasn’t that you knew I was the Apollyon.”
Marcus’ eyes opened and met mine. “That was never first, second, or third. You are my niece. You are my sister’s daughter. And you are so much like her…” He exhaled through the nose, his jaw locking. “You were so much like her that when you came back to the Covenant… and even now, I have a hard time looking at you without seeing my sister.”
Something… something came unhinged in my chest. Never had Marcus been this open with me. And it’d seemed more likely for me to waltz around the living room with a daimon before Marcus would talk to me about my mother, but here he was.
Holy daimon butt, we were climbing that mountain.
The breath I inhaled was a bit raspy. “You loved my mom a lot.”
“Rachelle was my little sister and I… I loved her dearly.” His eyes closed again. “Rachelle was full of life—vibrant. We were opposites. She drew people to her in droves, and I pretty much repelled them.”
My lips quirked at the corners.
“She was probably the only person who could get me to relax.” He sat up suddenly, dropping his hands on his knees. “When you were really little, she used to bring you over to my home, and if you behaved, which wasn’t always likely, she’d take you for ice cream afterward.” A pensive smile formed. “You were such a tiny thing then, but my gods, I knew immediately you would look just like her. Everything except the eyes…”
Searching my memories, I found I could recall nothing of him from when I’d been a little girl, only the few visits when I was older, and they had been cold and impersonal. Marcus had been like every other pure.
“She always claimed that your father was a mortal, but that one Sentinel was always with her, always following her… and you.”
“What?” My head snapped up.
Marcus focused on something I couldn’t see. “You were too young, Alexandria, to remember your father.”
Hearing Marcus mention my father stopped the world.
“You were just a baby. Your mother couldn’t so much as walk outside without Alexander not too far behind her, especially if she had you with her. Looking back, it seemed obvious, but Sentinels and Guards were always around. And they’d attended the Covenant together, two years behind me. I just thought they were friends. But I think I always knew, deep down, and I couldn’t see past that. Every time I looked at you, I saw my sister’s downfall.”
My eyes widened. “Ouch.”
“Yeah,” he sighed. “Sounds terrible, but you of all people know what happens to halfs and pures that mix. I was so angry with my sister for putting herself into that position and for bringing a child into it.” Marcus paused, pensive. “I took it out on you. It was wrong.”
Pigs had just officially sprouted wings and were flying alongside airplanes. Instead of jumping around and pointing out what he just admitted and acting like a general douche about it, I focused on something else. Sometimes I amazed myself with my own maturity.
“Did… did you know my father personally?”
His lips thinned. “I trained with your father before I decided to go a more political route. He was a damn good Sentinel. Like you.”
I stared. Once upon a time, hearing something like that would’ve have filled me with pleasure, but now it wasn’t the compliment that had drawn me in; it was hearing that my father had been a damn good Sentinel that did.
“I think your mother hoped she wouldn’t be paired. I wasn’t. Neither was Laadan. But when your mother was paired with Lucian, Alexander… you just knew, if you knew the man behind the uniform.”
Again, I had no idea what to say.
“There was nothing he could do but stand back and let the woman he loved marry someone else. And he had to live with that someone else raising his child.” Marcus cleared his throat. “And I’m sure Alexander knew that Lucian wasn’t kind to you, but there was nothing he could do. Coming forward would have put both your mother and you in danger. He was helpless.”
My muscles were tensing and relaxing at the same time. “What happened? How did he end up a servant?”
Marcus faced me. “When you were three years old, Alexander disappeared. It wasn’t uncommon. We were told he’d been killed by a daimon.”
I shook my head, brows furrowing. “How did you not know where he was? He was in the Catskills, under Telly’s thumb.”
“I didn’t see him there until about a year prior to your return.” The sincerity in his words rocked me. “I’d believed that he was dead, and I didn’t know that a male half and a female pure made an Apollyon. Even when Rachelle came to me before she took you away, I didn’t suspect what that truly meant. Not until I saw Alexander in the Catskills, and then what could I do?”
“You could’ve helped him!”
“How? How was I to do that? What do you think would’ve happened if everyone realized that your father was a half-blood? Halfs and pures have mixed before and have been caught. Those children were not allowed to live.”
Sickened, I swallowed. “That’s so wrong.”
“I don’t disagree.” He reached over, running his fingers over a nearby leafy plant. “Your father didn’t seem to recognize me. Only recently did I learn from Laadan, that that must’ve been an act.”
Then it hit me—smacked me right upside my ever-loving head. The conversation that I’d overheard between him and Telly resurfaced. Marcus had been furious with Telly. “Telly wanted you to hand me over, didn’t he? He even offered you a seat on the Council.”
He looked at me sharply.
I grinned. “I overheard you guys.”
Staring at me a moment, he shook his head. “He did.”
“And you refused.”
“Yes.” His look said how could I do anything else?
Wow. Things kind of made sense now, after all this time. I reminded him of Mom and he missed her, which probably made him uncomfortable around me. And Marcus wasn’t really a people person, anyway. He hadn’t known about my father until it was too late. I believed that. And he hadn’t handed me over to Telly. I remembered how he’d picked me up and carried me after Seth had attacked the Council and I’d been sick.
How, like Aiden, he hadn’t given up on me.
Marcus… he cared about me. And that meant a lot. Beside my father, who was out of reach to me, Marcus was the last of my family—my blood.
“Thank you,” I said. And then, impulsively, even though he wasn’t a hugging man, I sprang forward before he knew what was coming and hugged him. It was quick, though—I didn’t want to freak the man out.
I settled back in my spot as he stared at me, eyes wide. Guess I had freaked him out.
“Why are you thanking me?” he asked slowly.
I shrugged.
“You are a strange girl.”
Laughing, I leaned back against the cushions on the window seat. “I bet Mom was a strange girl.”
“That she was.”
“Will you tell me what you know about my dad? I mean, if you’re not tired or anything?”
“There’re some stories I could tell you.” He mirrored my position. “And I’m not tired. Not at all.” His smile was tentative, but real, and I couldn’t think of any other time that he had smiled like that.
My lips responded in kind. “That would be really nice.”
It wasn’t until dawn came and the sun rose, chasing away the murky shadows, that I thought about how happy my mom would be, knowing that Marcus and I had sort of patched things up.
And I couldn’t help but believe that she did. And maybe she was smiling upon us now. Just like the sun filtering through the windows, warming our backs.