chapter 12
It’s My Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To
“Let me help you out,” a deep, austere voice offered beside me. I opened my eyes and gasped, realizing I was in Gavin’s car, but the steering wheel sat on the right-hand side. Curled up in the passenger’s seat with a throw blanket tossed across my lap, I looked over at the driver, still in a daze.
I cleared my throat, still groggy, looked around for my little yellow house. “No it’s okay. I can get out myself. Wait, where are we?”
“La Boîte Noire. You’re safe with me.” He extended his hand across the console to introduce himself. “I’m Joel.”
Right. The babysitter. I glanced at his hand then ignored it while I tossed the blanket on the floor of the car. “Thanks, but I can take it from here. I just want to go home.” I reached for the car door, but he was in front of me before I could step out.
“You’re far from home. I need you to stay with me for a while.”
“Look, don’t take this personally or anything but … I’ve met plenty of vampires for one week, and I really have no desire to get to know another one.” I squeezed past him into the darkness, let my eyes adjust.
I couldn’t see much, only a narrow brick building with a single red door, wedged in between a few other old buildings. The door was arched, the blood-red paint tattered. I looked for windows but didn’t see any, glanced around for the building’s most convenient escape. A damp cobblestone street and a lone streetlight giving sparse light made my surroundings feel like a small European town. In the distance I could hear British accents, moving toward the other end of the street.
“Impossible,” I whispered, listened closely.
“Nope, you’re definitely in London.” Joel closed the car door. “Not in Kansas anymore, princess.”
I gawked at Joel in disbelief. Similar to Gavin and Gabe, he wore all black—combat boots and subtle brooding included. He reminded me of a gypsy, earthy and wise, as if his life had taken him to many interesting places. A vast display of art sprawled across his arms; his parted but unkempt brown hair just barely passed his shoulders. He was the first vampire I’d met who had a darker, golden complexion. My mind wrestled with the possibilities. Cherokee Indian, maybe some Greek, a little French, I couldn’t tell.
“You can’t be serious.” I squatted to sit on the side of the street, my head in my hands, in disbelief at how insane a turn my life had taken since I moved to Louisiana. Now I was hanging out with vampires on the streets of London. “We’re not even in the States? What about Gavin’s car?” I looked up at him. “Did we fly it across the Atlantic Ocean to get here?”
“Please. We fly, the cars don’t.” He walked over to me and took my hand, pulled me up from the curb. Odd, but it felt as if I’d known him for years. Could it be that I had more chemistry with my new vampire friends than I had with many human friends I’d made over the course of my lifetime?
“Gavin has a spare ride here. This is where we hang out, come on.”
I allowed him to lead me through the red door of the building.
“So spoiled,” I mumbled, annoyed as he towed me through a loud crowd. “This is where you two hang out? Why didn’t he ever tell me about this place?” I had to yell over the noise.
He turned around and looked at me. “Why didn’t he tell you? Really, Camille?”
“Oh. Right. Got it.” And I did. I guess it wasn’t ideal to volunteer information about your vampire haven to your mortal girlfriend. “Well, why are you bringing me here now? I thought you were being bribed to keep me away from your kind.”
“Those weren’t the instructions,” he hollered back. “I’m keeping you away from Andrew, in particular. And for the record, I’m not being bribed. Gavin’s a friend of mine.”
Awestruck, I followed him through the clouds of smoke, observed the hordes of monsters around me. Glasses in hand and fangs bared, some huddled around the small stage to watch the band play; others talked intimately on smooth, sultry-red-velvet couches that looked like they belonged in the eighteenth century. Black eyes followed me as I walked, made me feel as if I’d inadvertently rung the dinner bell.
“Here, have a seat.” He led me to a pub table in the back corner of the club. It was still noisy, but secluded enough to have a conversation without having to yell at one another.
I sat at the table with my arms folded, glanced warily around me. “I should be home.”
“No one is going to hurt you when you’re with me.”
“I’ve heard that one before.” I shot him a dirty look, kept my guard up.
He sighed, ordered us drinks. Growing tired of me already, I was sure. I could relate. I was tired of myself.
“All right. Enough of the sulking. I brought you here to explain things to you, I thought that’s what you wanted.”
“No, I don’t want—”
“What do you want?”
I looked at my beer, smelled it before I took a swig, just to make sure. “I want out of this nightmare I wound up in, that’s what I want. And I’m not sulking.”
“No. You’re just wallowing.” Joel took a sip of his drink, glanced around at our many observers.
“Excuse me? Who do you think you are? I just met you, and you’re already insulting me. You have no idea what a rollercoaster this has been for me. It’s like one big freak show. My own personal horror romance movie.”
A couple sat down at a table next to ours. The woman whispered something as she peeked over at me. I looked away when we made eye contact.
“Actually, I do know a little something about what it feels like to be thrown into a world of monsters without any prior warning.” He gestured for our server again. That was fast.
A tall, lanky blond man eyed me as he approached the table. “What can I get you?”
“I’ll take another warm light, please, and another beer for my friend.” The waiter nodded, turned to head back to the bar.
“Is that what you’re drinking? Warm blood?” I shuddered, made a disgusted look.
“What do you think we drink in here? Relax.”
“You’re right.” I exaggerated my smile. “Relaxing sounds like a great idea, thank you.”
He chuckled.
“I could be drinking your blood right now, but I choose not to. What would you prefer, princess?” He smiled, smug.
“Well they obviously serve normal drinks here. Why not have one of those?”
“This place is specifically for those of us who choose to live differently. Once in a while an informed mortal shows up, so we give you options. I can’t drink the normal stuff, doesn’t do anything for me. This, on the other hand,” he raised his empty glass, “is unfortunately necessary nutrition.”
I peered back over at the couple next to us, watched the woman order her drink. “You’re still living off of the same stuff… How is that really any different?”
“I understand your argument, believe me. The difference is, we don’t hunt. We still have to survive, and this is the best we can do.”
I unfolded my arms. “Well, it sure doesn’t seem like they’re used to having mortals in this place very often.”
“We’re used to it. It’s still hard, though. Requires restraint. Mortals are bound to draw our attention, we can’t help it.”
“I thought your coven were the only ones who’ve attempted to live differently with humans, to not hunt them. Thought that’s why Samira’s after you guys. There’s an entire club of you guys?”
Joel reached in his pocket and pulled out a cigarette, offered me one. “That’s not entirely the whole story,” he said, lit both cigarettes. “The resistance—or, the opposite of how Samira wants us to live—has been around for centuries. Gatherings, just like this, have popped up around the globe. There are plenty of us who don’t want to be heartless, bloodthirsty monsters. But we’ve been able to maintain a level of secrecy, even from Samira. We created a sort of code, in case she ever found out about any of us.”
I took a drag off my cigarette, let the smoke sit in my lungs for a minute. “What’s the code?”
“We lie.” He grinned, took our drinks from the waiter.
“Lie? To Samira?” I took my nice, normal, human beer, gripped it tight in my hand.
“Yeah, that’s pretty much it. We swear to secrecy and vow to defend one another, so that no one is found guilty. No witnesses, no crime. Samira’s servants roam and keep tabs, but we’ve been able to keep things pretty quiet.”
“But what about those of you who choose to rat you out? Like Andrew?”
“Most of them aren’t dumb enough to tell Samira. It’s bad news for everyone involved. We’ve done a pretty good job at keeping our secret from those who find out about us and threaten to expose us. Occasionally we do have to … keep them quiet. But as for those like Andrew, we usually don’t have to worry about them ratting us out. They’ve been breaking rules of their own. Samira’s not oblivious. She knows our kind has been trying to invent ways to resist the curse for a very long time. She’s aware it goes on. The attempt, anyway. But a group of vampires that successfully maintains the lifestyle? She doesn’t believe it’s possible.”
He took the last sip of his drink and put his cigarette out. “In many ways, it isn’t. Not for very long, and she knows that. That’s where Amaranth comes in.”
I put out my cigarette, too, and repositioned myself in my seat. “Why doesn’t everyone who wants to live this way just go to Amaranth, then?”
“It’s not the ideal place to go.” He looked at me, eyes cautious. “What exactly did Gavin tell you about it?”
I shrugged, tried to recall the specifics. “Not much, really. Something to do with exile, right? I think Audrey mentioned you can go there to have the curse removed or something....”
“Yeah, that’s a part of it.” Joel sat quiet for a moment, sliding his glass back and forth between his hands. “It’s for those of us who’ve requested the curse to be removed. On the surface, sounds like a good thing, I guess.”
“Sounds good to me.”
“Samira’s bound to send us there, if we sincerely request it. But it’s not without sacrifice, obviously. It’s a banishing, not a luxury vacation. For our desire to be lifted out of the cursed state, we have the privilege to live as a mortal. No bloodlust plaguing us, no more deaths on our conscience. A chance to be freed from the life we have to live here on earth. But in turn, we’re cut off from the world, from anyone we’ve left here on earth and we’re overseen by Samira herself—directly. For the remainder of eternity.” He looked up from his glass to analyze my face.
It took a second for it to sink in. “Once you’re in, you never get out,” I whispered, then stood to leave.
Joel nodded.
“You’re saying he’s never coming back. You brought me here to tell me he’s never coming back. None of them are. I can’t believe this.”
I darted away from the table, so angry I felt like I could punch a hole in the wall. Weaving my way through the crowd of swaying monsters, I moved swiftly toward the exit.
“Camille!” Joel’s voice boomed from the back of the building, and I knew in just a few seconds, he would be next to me. I had to move fast, had to get out of here. Now I was stuck in London with no way home, and no one to help. Panicked, I pushed through the front door with force, took a deep breath of fresh air. My eyes darted around the street, tried to focus, searched for signs of any humans. It was late though, and the alley was barren. Before I had a chance to hightail it to the end of the sidewalk, my body was whisked into the night, back into Gavin’s spare Maserati.
I kicked the dashboard with my feet, reached for the door handle, squirmed frantically in the passenger seat. “Stop it. Will you just let me go? I don’t want this anymore.”
He reached across me to hold the door shut, waited. My struggle was no match for his strength of course, so I surrendered, having recently learned that lesson.
“Camille, you have to listen to me. Running from this is not going to solve anything.”
“There’s nothing left to say. If you’re telling me he’s gone, then there’s nothing left to talk about. Every part of me I had left is gone now, do you understand that? Everything I just rebuilt—demolished. The ones I love are gone, and they’ve done nothing but betray me.” I slumped into the seat, wrestled with tears.
“You didn’t let me finish, and you’re not listening.” He released the door handle and sat back against the driver’s seat, sighed heavily. “I didn’t bring you here to tell you he’s not coming back. I brought you here to tell you his plan. He didn’t go to Amaranth just to confront Samira and lift his curse: He went to defeat her. He knows what he’s doing, and he didn’t lie to you about that.”
“How—?” My stomach churned. “How is that possible? I know nothing about this other world of yours, other than what you’ve told me. But I’m smart enough to recognize a stupid idea when I hear one. Attempting to defeat your ruler is downright stupid.”
“He’s not stuck in Amaranth until Samira grants him permission to enter past the gates. And he doesn’t just plan on barging in and fighting with her. He wouldn’t do something that careless, you know him better than that.”
I sat quietly, considering his words, and wrapped Gavin’s oversized suit jacket tighter around me to keep warm.
“Camille … what I brought you here to tell you is, this is worth fighting for. He has a plan. You don’t have to understand it right now, but if you stick around long enough, I guarantee you will. In time.”
I pulled my feet off the dash and slowly swerved in the seat to face him, bit my lip as I collected my thoughts. “Well then. Tell me the plan, if that’s what you brought me here to do. Because I really don’t understand why Gavin would show me all of this. I mean, what was the point? If he knew we couldn’t be together.…”
Joel readjusted himself in his seat before he put on his seatbelt. “He took you to the bayou because he meant what he said to you. He wants you to move on, wanted you to be there when he went to Amaranth so you could have closure, so you could move on. He felt the only way to do that was to show you the truth, show you where he was going and what he really was.”
He started the car, waited for me to put my seatbelt on. “Bottom line is, I didn’t bring you here just to explain things to you. I brought you so you could make a decision.”
I snapped my belt into place, wondered where he was taking me next. “What decision?”
“Whether you’re going to let go of him or not.” He set the gear to drive, kept his foot on the brake. “Because I really believe whatever you have with him is worth fighting for, and I owe it to him to try and make sure he doesn’t lose the one thing he loves in this world.”
I looked at him, absorbed his sincerity. “Love isn’t enough, Joel.”
“It’s always enough.”
“Not under these circumstances.”
“Especially under these circumstances. Where’s the victory without opposition?” Hitting the gas, he sped off and led us into the night.