“I think I already did that.”
Taggart huffed a little. “I was talking about the fact that Jesse finally had someone to drink those fruity things he likes so much with. That boy never met an umbrella drink he didn’t like.”
She could imagine how Tag teased him about his love of pi?a coladas and mai tais. “You have to stop making fun of him.”
“Then how will he know I like him?” Taggart expertly sliced and twisted her lime. “I don’t think you’re going to have a lot of say in Jesse’s life once you dump him.”
Of course he could convey tons of judgment with words, too. “I’m not dumping him. We were never really together as anything more than friends, and now I have to leave. My job here is done.”
“Oh, I think he feels like he’s been dumped. Maybe not dumped so much as betrayed and gutted.”
She hated the guilt that flooded her system. She’d fucked up so badly. The first rule of the game was to never make it personal, but she’d failed at that before she’d even begun to play. “I never meant to make him feel that way.”
“You care about him?”
“Yes.”
“Then spend the next few days proving it.”
She just managed to not roll her eyes his way. “And how should I ‘prove it,’ as you say so eloquently?”
Taggart laughed. “Hey, women think sex is purely physical for a guy, but for most of us, it’s really how we express shit.”
“You mean like feelings?” She loved the way Taggart went slightly green at the very word.
“Yeah, that’s what I said. Look, Ten told me about your husband. I hope you don’t hold it against him. He’s really good at keeping secrets. I didn’t even know he had a family.” He slid the vodka tonic her way and then turned and opened a small door revealing his Scotch. “I’m not telling you to fuck Jesse, although you would probably both feel better, but I get that you’re going to be a nun for the rest of your life. That’s cool. It’s a choice at least.”
“Screw you, Taggart. My life, my choice. You just don’t have any idea what it means to lose someone.”
There was that judgmental brow again. “Really?”
She’d forgotten about his wife. It was easy since she was alive and such a part of his life now. “Fine. You do and you chose to deal with it differently. I don’t judge you. You should understand how I feel. Do you honestly believe you could ever love another woman? If she hadn’t come back, would you have found someone else?”
He poured out the Scotch, more liberally than she had. “No idea, but she did come back. According to Ten, your husband is never coming back. So I think I can tell your future.”
“Nice. I didn’t know you were clairvoyant.”
“I have many hidden skills.” He grabbed a second glass for himself. “You’ll head back into the service, but you won’t play things the way Ten does. You’ll go back in as an operative, and you’ll take all the risks you can because you’ll have a death wish. The good news is in our business, people with a death wish usually find their desire granted and quickly. Does Jesse know he was in the same prison as your husband?”
She wished Ten hadn’t mentioned that little truth. “No.”
Taggart slipped the Scotch back in its hiding place. “Then I’ll talk to him about it.”
“No. He doesn’t need to know.” She couldn’t see how having that information would do anything but hurt him. “Look, as soon as this mission is over and we figure out who’s trying to kill Jesse, I’ll be out of here and he can go on with his life.”
“His life in Wyoming? Because he’s planning on quitting and punching cows and stepping in their shit.”
She shook her head. “He’s not serious about that. Just tell him he can’t quit and he’ll settle back in.”
“It’s not about the job,” Taggart replied. “It’s about you. He’s been fine on the job, but finding out his awkward little princess is really a warrior queen put him on his ass. Now he’s questioning every single friend he’s made. You did that to him. You broke him. You better fix him.”
“How the hell am I supposed to do that?”
One big shoulder shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s not my problem. I gave you a very viable solution. Men are simple. Sleep with him for the rest of his life and he’ll probably be fine. See, simple. You women are the ones who make things hard.”
“I’m married.” The words came out of her mouth before she could think to stop them.