“That’s probably for the best,” Simon said. “I’m sure Kori would be jealous if you didn’t. She sends her love, Jesse.”
“Does she?” Jesse stared at Simon, wondering if he’d lost his damn mind. Kori was one of the club submissives. She and her friend Sarah were two of the funniest brats Jesse had ever met, but she certainly wouldn’t be jealous. She was a friend. He scened with her from time to time, but it was in a buddy way.
“Yes, she’s worried about you. Call me if you need anything. We’re all taking shifts watching the club, so don’t think you’re alone.” Simon closed the door behind him.
Jesse was fairly certain that Kori wasn’t worried about him since no one would tell her a damn thing. She wasn’t a member of the team, so no one would mention anything to her. She worked for Kai Ferguson, keeping his records and making his appointments, which was why she was allowed in the club. Why would Simon mention her?
“Kori? You have a girlfriend?” Phoebe was staring at him, her eyes narrowed.
Oh, now he got it. He shrugged. “She’s a friend and a girl.”
“And a play partner, I take it.”
“Sometimes.”
“Well, you never mentioned her before, so I’m a little surprised to find out that you have a regular woman you see.”
Was she fucking kidding him? “I never mentioned her like you never mentioned that you weren’t really the person you said you were. Like that never mentioning her?”
She frowned. “I was surprised because you talked about all the people in your life, but you never mentioned her. Even when we were dating, you didn’t mention you had a lover.”
She was so jealous. There was no way to mistake the hard set of her eyes. She was pissed about Simon mentioning Kori. “Why the hell do you care?”
“Because whatever I did, I really was your friend. I really did spend all that time with you. You never told me you were sleeping with another woman.”
He couldn’t lie to her. Lying would make it that much harder to get inside her Agency-issued panties. “I don’t sleep with Kori. She’s a friend. Simon was trying to push you into a corner to see how you would react. I did, however, sleep with a prostitute for a while. It seemed better than getting into a relationship with a woman I didn’t really want when the woman I did want so obviously had no interest in me sexually.”
She flushed, the pinkening of her skin evident even in the low light of the room. “It wasn’t like that.”
“Wasn’t like what?”
“I didn’t have no interest in you. It’s just…I’m married.”
“You’re a widow.” He’d been told that much. She hadn’t seemed very willing to talk about her husband or how he died, but Jesse had been told he’d been Agency and dead for a few years. According to Ten, they’d all been trained by their adoptive father to enter the CIA.
He was utterly fascinated by her.
“It doesn’t matter, Jesse. As soon as we find the traitor, I’m going back to Virginia. I’m going back to the Agency and I’ll disappear. I’m an excellent long-term operative, despite the debacle of today. So no matter what I do or don’t feel for you and all the others, I will leave and go back to my real life.” She walked to the window and touched it, tapping gently. “Bulletproof glass?”
“Tag’s a paranoid freak, but then everyone really is out to get him.” Weariness bore down on him. It was getting dark. He didn’t want dinner, didn’t want a shower, didn’t really want to talk. He wanted to sleep and forget the day had happened. “I’ll sleep in Kai’s room. It’s across the hall. He’s in DC at some conference. He’s not due to be back for a few days, so I’ll crash in there.”
“No, you won’t. We’re staying right here, watching each others backs.” She unzipped her bag and brought out a SIG, checking the clip. “I had the security feed sent through my computer so if anything happens, we’ll get an alarm, but we need to stay together.”
“There’s only one bed.” Shit. “I’ll sleep in the chair.”
“Jesse,” she said softly. She laid the SIG down on the nightstand beside the bed. “It’s a big bed. There’s no reason we can’t both be comfortable.”
“I probably won’t sleep,” he confessed, but he was already thinking about how much better it would be to rest beside her. If he got into bed with her, he had a chance at getting physical. He really wanted that chance. If she was going to leave, he wanted to know what it felt like to be inside her, but he had to weigh that against what he knew tended to happen when he slept. “I have bad dreams sometimes. Really bad dreams. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I know,” she said softly. “Despite everything I’ve done to you, I know you won’t hurt me.”
He wasn’t sure he could hurt her. She would have to really care about him to be vulnerable, and she’d made it plain that she couldn’t really care about him.