“Jesse,” she started, but whatever words were there remained trapped.
Like his Phoebe was trapped. She would stay that way if he didn’t free her.
“I love you. You walking away from me won’t change that.” He kept up the hard whacks, being careful with her. She needed enough to feel it, not enough to harm her. Oh, he had no doubt she would harm herself if she could, but he was in charge. He was the Dom. “I will go to my grave loving you, woman.”
The first real sob came from her throat. He looked down and tears poured from her eyes. They slid down her cheeks and onto the bed. Even as she wept, her body relaxed and he knew she was there.
He smacked her backside one last time, holding his hand to her flesh as if he could keep the heat in.
She was crying, allowing the pain and stress of the day to leach from her system, but he wasn’t about to let up. If he gave her an inch, she’d be right back in her head, worrying and creating guilt. There was no place for that in their lives tonight.
“Don’t move.” He went to the bathroom. He’d already planned a nice scene for the evening, so all the tools were clean and laid out. He grabbed the large plug and some lube and wrapped the rest of his torture implements in a towel to bring along. He had plans for his pretty princess and they included a few decorations.
She was still crying when he returned. He immediately went to work, dribbling lube all over that gorgeous asshole he intended to make his this night.
She squirmed a little.
“Do I need to tie you up?” He’d considered it. It would likely make her feel secure, give her one more reason to give in.
“No. I’ll be good. It feels good, Jesse. Why does it feel so good? Shouldn’t it be wrong?”
He lined the plug up and started a slow massage of her asshole, letting it sink in inch by inch. “I thought it was wrong at first. When I met Alex and Eve, I tried to save her from him. I thought he was abusing her because I didn’t understand that there was more than one way to love someone.”
She gasped, her hips moving ever so slightly, trying to accommodate the plug as he started to move it in and out. “Do you think it’s possible to love two people?”
At least she was asking the question. “I think what I’ve figured out is that we don’t have a limited amount of love. It doesn’t get all used up and then there’s nothing left. We choose. We choose who we love and how we love, and there is nothing between two consenting adults that brings them connection and pleasure and joy that’s wrong. This is ours, Phoebe. No one else gets a say in it. This is our relationship, our partnership. If you let it, it will be our marriage and there’s only room for you and me. We make the decisions and the rest of the world can go to hell.”
She let out a deep breath and the plug sank home. Gently, he turned her over. She looked up at him with wide eyes. “I want to believe you.”
Fuck, she was beautiful. “Then believe me. The outside world doesn’t matter. All that matters is what happens between you and me. We can take care of all the rest of it together. Now tell me your secret.”
She shook her head. “Please. Just touch me. Let me touch you.”
He could order her, but he would rather earn it. If he forced it out of her, she would resent him no matter what the outcome was. “Don’t lose that plug. I want to play dress-up.”
“What does that mean?” Phoebe reached and wiped her tears, relief obvious in the relaxation of her body. She’d purged the emotions that held her back, but he intended to get her all tense again.
“It means I’m going to torture you for a while.” Another word he’d hated for the longest time. Like all words, it had many meanings at its heart and his torture would be the sweetest kind. His torture would lead to their bonding, their bliss. “I want you to close your eyes.”
After a second’s hesitation, her eyes drifted closed. “All right, Sir.”
“Listen to my voice. We can’t do this here. It’s far too dangerous, but I’m going to tell you what’s going to happen when we get home.” He let his hand play along her neck, gently encasing it with his palm. Dirty talk got her going. Luckily for her, he thought very dirty thoughts when she was around. “First, I’m going to do what I didn’t do before. When Tag sends that plane for us, I’m not going to let you sleep on my lap again.”
Her eyes came open. “Jesse…”