“I — ”
“I know. I know. I’m a crook. A thief. I don’t even go to school. But I’ll be a good man, Alice. You can’t just let me go.”
It’s right now where I can stop it all. I just need to tell him I don’t love him. I can tell him to freakin’ walk away from me. Damn it. Why am I not saying it? It’s just a few words. I don’t love you. I don’t want to see you again. Why can’t I?
“Look.” Jack pulls me closer. “Only you know me. Only you.”
“And you don’t know anything about me.”
“I know enough. It’s not like you can turn out to be worse than me.”
“I am worse than you, Jack.”
“Nice one.” He flicks his nose against mine. “Now, don’t be silly. The bus is coming.”
And you’re never getting out of it, Jack, if I’m on it.
“It’s our time, Alice,” Jack insists. “We need to have fun together. A life. We need to get on that bus. Hell, I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t want to get on it.”
“I can’t.” The words slip out of me. “I just can’t.”
Jack gets the message this time. He realizes I’m not being bratty. He can read it in my eyes. “You’re not in love with that old douche, are you?”
“Old douche?”
“That professor. What’s his name?”
I stop myself from laughing. And though I can just tell him that I am, I can’t bring myself to break his heart.
“So what’s the problem, Alice?” Jack says.
Thinking of an answer, I suddenly notice we’re near the bus station. It’s a few feet away. That’s it. And there, among the giggling girls waiting for the bus, the Reds stand everywhere, disguised as normal people. The Queen’s limousine waits at the curb. And a woman in a Red fur stands on the opposite side. My instinct tells me Black Chess is all around, to make sure I will get on the bus.
“Alice, look at me. Tell me what’s going on.” Jack holds me tighter. “I’d die for you, Alice. Just tell me what’s wrong.”
I’d die for you, Alice. The words cling to my soul. My darker soul, which is suddenly surfacing.
Why not? I find myself thinking.
I’ve been manipulating this stupid boy for so long. Why not? Let him get on the bus. Let him die with the others.
Hail Black Chess.
Now I’m back. The real me. The one you should fear the most.
I pull Jack toward the bus station, imagining a scary rabbit staring back at me from a mirror. “Welcome back, Alice,” the rabbit says.
Chapter 74
THE PRESENT: DIRECTOR’S OFFICE, RADCLIFFE ASYLUM, OXFORD
Dr. Tom Truckle was enjoying his mock turtle soup when Fabiola crashed into his office. He wasn’t sure who she was yet. He’d only seen her serving beer and cracking jokes in the Inklings a couple of times. He’d always joked she looked like a dark version of the famous Vatican nun. But, of course, she couldn’t be her.
“I need your help.” Fabiola stood by the door, her tattoos barely distracting from her impressively athletic body and good looks.
“Only my wife asks for help with a sword in her hand.” He drooled some of the soup back into the bowl. “Want to be my next?”
“Shut up,” Fabiola said. “Alice is about to find her Wonder.”
“Alice?” He frowned. “Her what?”
“She has to die.”
“Are we talking about the mad girl in the cell below?”
“You know she isn’t in the cell below.” Fabiola stepped up. “I know all about you. About the Pillar manipulating you into letting her out.”
“Great.” Tom dropped his spoon. “Excuse me if I need to pop another pill to talk to you.”
“You’re not going to do anything unless I tell you,” Fabiola said.
“Trust me, the pill helps with all your Wonderland madness.” He reached for the drawer but Fabiola stopped him, waving a threatening sword in the air.
“I know who you are, Tom,” Fabiola said. “I know what Lewis told you about this asylum, so drop the mask.”
Tom shrugged. Did others know about this? Lewis had never told him this Fabiola had anything to do with this. “What do you want?”
“Now we’re talking.” Fabiola leaned against the edge of his desk. “Like I said, Alice Wonder must die.”
“Why?”
“You don’t get to ask questions, Turtle,” she mocked him. “You will only follow my orders.”
“If you say so.” He really needed that pill now.
“I will need an army to kill Alice when she wakes up.”
“Wakes up?”
“I told you not to interrupt me.”
Tom sat up, listening carefully.
“You did a good job, all those years, collecting sane people into the asylum,” she said. “Now it’s time to use them.”
“Really?” Tom’s eyes widened. So Lewis’ prophecy was useful.
“Yes,” she said. “I will need all the Mushroomers in your asylum.”
“Need them?”
“Didn’t you hear me?” Fabiola said. “Alice is coming back, and I’ll need all your insane — or sane — patients to kill her.”
Chapter 75
THE PAST: OXFORD STREETS