Now I take a right, as I elbow one of my attackers hard enough to throw him back. I think I am stronger now. I wonder how.
There is a map that shows that the republic’s most proud achievement: conquering Uncle Sam’s land. The United Loons of Wonderland is what the US is called now. Hell, there is a picture of the Sphinx in Egypt with the Queen’s head instead of a lion’s.
This by far is the worst-case scenario. How did we lose the war?
A couple of my chasers manage to grab my hand and slow me down. I kick one in the crotch and slice a shard of glass though the other’s neck. What the heck am I doing?
But I have no time. I keep on running before the others find me. This is insane. The world is chasing after me. I don’t even know why.
And here it is. Oxford University. How did I just step out of London into Oxford this fast? I wonder if it has something to do with time traveling. Does time collapse distances this way?
But here I am, staring at… Wait.
At first I am surprised that the university buildings are left as they were. No mushroom structures or other sorts of nonsense have touched it. Then I read the sign hung atop the Tom Tower. It says: Welcome to the Oxford Asylum for the Sane and Mundane.
Pictures of Einstein on the outer walls, depicted as a madman with a hookah pipe and flapping white hair, say it all. There is a bubbling quote coming out of his mouth: Time? What about time? Time is mad.
But I’m not that surprised. It has all gotten out of hand already.
What does surprise me is that my chasers are now split in two groups. Left and right. Now I can’t enter the university — I mean the asylum — surrounded by mad people in all directions.
I’m stuck with a shard of glass for a weapon, between two groups of mad folks wanting to kill me — or so I believe.
I stand in place, circling slowly, my eyes meeting theirs. They’re approaching me. They’re not in a rush. Why would they be? We have all the madness in the world.
What are you going to do right now, Alice? Die in the future? What does that even mean?
I realize that what really bothers me is that I am a mother now. Who is going to take care of Lily and Tiger if I die?
But I’m not even supposed to be here. Time traveling is really messing with my head.
The madmen and women approach me with grins worse than the Cheshire’s. I swallow hard. What am I going to do? I guess I will have to fight them. Can I confront all of them?
I pray my None Fu skills have evolved tremendously, or I will die a mushroom in the future.
Suddenly, a huge vehicle stops nearby. A red one. Its wheels screech to a halt. It’s a fire truck. Before I know it, the madmen, including me, are thrown backward by the rush of water pressure out of a fire hose.
Left and right, mad people glide and slide on the floor.
Who is doing this?
The mad people beg whoever is doing this to stop. But he keeps drowning us, and we’re unable to see who he is behind a wall of moist air.
“Alice!” I hear someone call.
Who is that?
The water stops. The silhouette of a man appears.
I squint as he approaches me, shooting a couple of madmen with a rifle on the way.
And slowly, I can see.
The man wears a hat and blue suit, and white gloves. He is unbelievably dry in all this slippery wetness.
“Pillar?” I stand up, not believing what I am seeing.
He shoots another mad attacker then stares at his pocket watch. “Hmmm,” he mumbles. “A bit too late.”
“What?” I am not sure whether to laugh or cry now. “Late for what?”
“For an important date.” He winks and pulls me by my hands. “I told you I’d see you again in fourteen years. Did you put some weight on?”
Chapter 17
“How did you know I’d be sent to the future?” know I’d be sent to the future?” I ask the Pillar as he drags me into the fire truck.
“Missed you too, Alice,” he says, climbing up into the driver’s seat. “Now hop in.”
I climb up, but one of those madmen grabs at my legs and tries to pull me down. I try to kick him away, having dropped my shards of glass, but he won’t budge. The Pillar shoots him instantly with his rifle, as if we’re in a zombie movie escaping brain eaters.
“That wasn’t necessary,” I say, locking myself inside. “You didn’t have to kill him. He isn’t evil. He is just mad.”
“That’s why I shot him.” He pushes the accelerator, running a few other madmen over. “All of this isn’t real, Alice. We’re in the future.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I hold on to the dashboard.
The Pillar drives over a set of crashed cars. “The future is like a video game. Shoot the bad guys. And when it’s ‘game over,’ rewind to the past and play it all over again.” He shifts gears. “Now pick up a helmet from the back. We’re going to set this place on fire.”
“Set the place on fire?” I pull on a helmet. The Pillar never changes.
“We’re firemen, aren’t we?”