The Cheshire is sitting on a chair in the middle of the stinking room. Water is dripping somewhere nearby. He is playing cards with a dead mad man on the opposite side of the table. I watch him lay his cards down while in Jack’s body. Then he possesses the man in front of him for the next move. Then back to Jack.
“Cheshire.” The Pillar approaches him with his rifle in his hand. I stay back like he told me. Seeing Jack having turned into a puppet on a cat’s string is breaking my heart. I doubt there’s anything I can do for him after all these years. Jack didn’t even flinch for the moment when the Cheshire left his body. The boy must be really dead now.
“Pillar?” Jack — I mean the Cheshire — says. “Want to play cards?”
I think the notorious cat has really lost it.
“I see you have a partner already,” the Pillar says, playing along.
“He’s dumb,” the Cheshire complains. “Every moves he makes, I already know.”
“Oh, it’s like you can read his mind.” The Pillar glances back to me for a second. Then back to him. “I guess it means you’re a genius.”
“You think?” The Cheshire’s grin is a lame, timid curve on Jack’s haggard and older face. Who would have thought? “Please come play with me, Pillar.”
“How about I tell you jokes?” the Pillar says. “I can make you laugh.”
“Jokes don’t work,” the Cheshire scolds. “I’ve been telling myself jokes for fourteen years.”
“Laughed your tail off?”
“On the contrary — I’ve never laughed once,” the Cheshire says. “You know why?”
“Depressed being in someone else’s body?”
“No, because I knew those jokes.”
“Maybe the greatest joke you never admitted was yourself.”
“It’s true.” The Cheshire lowers Jack’s head. I can’t believe my eyes. “I lost myself in someone who isn’t me.”
“Jack?”
“Yes. But you have no idea, Pillar. The things I heard in Jack’s mind. The emotions. The sacrifice. It’s addictive.”
“Addictive enough you gave up on your quest to burn every human being alive?”
“I don’t hate humans anymore.” He chuckles. It sounds as if he’s crying. “That’s why Black Chess gave up on me. They say I betrayed them.”
“Why do you love humans all of a sudden?”
“Jack.”
“You said that before.”
“And Alice.” The Cheshire holds the Pillar’s hand. Eagerly. For the first time, I see Jack’s eyes sparkle like they used to in the past. “If you only know how I — I mean Jack loves her. It’s mind-boggling.”
“Listen, Chesh.” The Pillar glances at his watch. “Since you love Alice so much now, she could use a favor. Can you do that?”
“Alice?” The Cheshire suddenly realizes I am in the room. The way he stares at me is the optimum of madness: to love the eyes looking at you, and hate the soul that occupies them.
Chapter 23
“Alice!” The Cheshire — Jack — or whoever that is — runs to me and wraps his arms around me.
I stand stiff with a tear on the verge of rolling down my cheek. I don’t know who is who. But I miss Jack so much. This body holding me smells of him. It talks like him. And I might want to kiss him like I wanted to kiss Jack.
“I missed you so much, Alice.” He holds my head between my hands, Jack’s eyes melting me on the inside.
“I missed you too, Jack.” I hug him back.
“Don’t fall for him,” the Pillar says. “This isn’t Jack.”
“But — ”
“Jack died inside the Cheshire a long time ago,” the Pillar says. “The Cheshire has gone mad, overwhelmed by human emotions he can’t understand.”
“You know what this means?” I pull Jack closer to me. “It means Jack’s love for me is so strong. Look what it has done to the devil himself.”
The Pillar waves a hand, unable to persuade me.
“I’ve been looking for you for fourteen years,” Jack tells me.
“I’m sorry I left you behind, Jack.” I run my hand over his face. Oh, those dimples. How I’ve missed them. “I should have saved you from the Cheshire.”
And it’s then when the Pillar’s pout makes sense.
It’s then when I realize the horror I’m holding in my hands. I was only fooling myself. Who I am holding, whether I like it or not, is the Cheshire.
Jack is dead. For good.
I push the Cheshire back and step away.
“But I love you, Alice!” he says.
“Don’t.” I lift a hand in the air, looking away from a beautiful face I’ve always loved — and killed. Maybe I can fix that later in the future. I turn to face the Pillar. “Why did you bring me here? To play games with my mind?”
“Not at all,” the Pillar says. “You might not know it, but I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“Then why are we here?”
“Because the Cheshire can help us enter Oxford Asylum.”
“How so?”
A smile sweeps the Pillar’s face as he looks at the Cheshire. “Tell me, Jack,” he says. “Would you do anything for the one you love?”
Chapter 24