“Babe, you’re nervous, and she can tell,” I say and try to give her a small smile. The sad look on her face changes into something different, something hopeful.
“You’re good with her,” she says, reaching out and running the back of her pointer finger over Robin’s cheek.
“Shit,” I say and make a funny face at the baby. “You listen to those screams every few hours, and you’ll be trying anything to shut her up.” I give Robin a glare, and even though I’ve been told at least twenty times that she’s too young, I swear she’s fucking smiling through her tears. Chey won’t know she’s too young to smile, so I tip her toward Chey and say, “She’s smiling because she knows she’s a shithead.”
My girl blushes before stumbling over her words. “Do you want kids?”
I stop breathing, stop moving—even doing the pat-bounce. I don’t know what to say to that. Heard it from a couple of the brothers before. Don’t ever mention marriage to a chick unless you’re ready to have kids, because that’s all she can see in her future. Probably should have listened to that shit before opening my mouth.
“I want to be a mom,” she says.
Fuck. I still can’t move, and Robin’s starting to scream again. She’s greedy with the pat-bounce, so I force myself to make my hand move. It barely calms her.
“Not now, but someday,” she clarifies.
“Eh, why not,” I say like it’s no big deal. “I’ll be a fucking pro at this shit by the time I’m thirty.”
“Thirty is probably young enough to have kids,” she says through a yawn. And I swear, my fucking heart starts beating again, and I relax my arms around Robin. “Let me try again,” she says and reaches for her. I hand her over, hoping Chey’s better with her this time, because that crying has got to fucking go. When she cradles Robin against her chest, she moves her around a bit before settling in and doing the pat-bounce. Robin is still crying, but it’s nothing like before.
“There you go,” I say and smile at her.
“I can’t believe my mom didn’t stick around for this,” she mumbles. She doesn’t talk about her mom, but for some reason she is right now. I don’t got shit to say because my mom didn’t stick around either. It’s not like I have anything encouraging to say. “Nic’s probably going to remember every single thing about her daughter, from her favorite color to her worst nightmare.”
“Yeah, I give her shit, but Nic’s like a fucking grizzly about the kid. She’s a good mom.”
“I’m glad Robin has that,” she says.
“Me, too.”
Duke strides back into the room with a baby bottle full of pumped breast milk in one hand and the last bite of a sandwich in the other. He shoves the final bite in his mouth and chews like his life depends on it. Fucking asshole made himself a sandwich while his kid is in here having a fucking fit. He places his pointer finger over the nipple of the bottle and shakes it up a little. I always try to avoid Nic when she’s pumping. It’s just awkward. It’s not like I like to look at my sister’s tits. They’re just there, and it’s just... uncomfortable.
Duke bends in front of Chey and takes Robin in his arms and then swiftly shoves the nipple of the bottle into her eager mouth. She sucks at it vigorously, and her red face calms to her normal pink. She’s pretty for a baby.
“You made a fucking sandwich?” I can’t keep the irritation from my voice.
“Fuck you,” he says. “We’re on the same feeding schedule, and if I had to depend on your sister to feed me, I’d starve. Besides, she was in good hands.”
I go to open my mouth and argue, but I can’t. Not only is he not making excuses with the club, but he’s putting his time in at the shop, and he gets up at least once every night to feed the baby. Dad would have mad respect for him if he were here, and knowing that Duke trusts me with his most prized possession means something to me. He knows she annoys me, but I won’t let a goddamn thing hurt her.
I also don’t tell him that Nic knows how to cook but just chooses not to. He’d have a huge-ass fit, and it’s not worth how funny it would be.
“Can you tell Uncle Jeremy to wrap his shit so he doesn’t give you any cousins?” Duke says as he snuggles her in his arms. He doesn’t do that baby voice shit or anything. He just talks to her like she’s an adult, and he doesn’t even bother to censor his language.