When the Heart Falls

Winter sighs and grips my pillow, and I wonder if it will smell like her when I sleep on it next. "She just wanted me to have fun." Her voice still sounds disconnected from her mind, her smile too bright. "She's harmless."

"Drugs aren't harmless." Once again I find myself reaching into a lady's purse. "And neither are these." I hold up the pepper spray and knife. "It's illegal to carry these here without a license."

"How do you know?"

"It's called research." What is it about this girl that makes me want to protect her? I'm here to study, to pass my French class and decide once and for all which direction my life will go, not to play knight in shining armor to a girl who keeps finding herself in troubling situations.

Remembering what brought this whole thing on in the first place, I change the subject to something that won't make me angry. "You probably have allergies. The red face, itchy ears, all that? Make sure to get some medicine tomorrow. You're sleeping here tonight." I hadn't decided that until the words were out of my mouth, but I realize they're true. I can't let her leave, not until I know she's okay.

"Why?" Her eyes fall shut, as if asleep.

"I'm not leaving you alone with Jenifer. Not like this."

Not asleep. She nods, and I'm glad she's not fighting me.

"I'll get rid of the pepper spray and knife." I shake the can and stand to leave, but Winter reaches out for me, catching my hand in hers.

"Don't go." She's looking up at me, her eyes big and sad. She looks so delicate, with her high cheekbones and soft lips, like a flower about to blossom, or ice about to break.

She pulls my hand to her chest, and I feel the swell of her breast, the cool touch of her skin, so smooth and tempting.

With more strength than I gave her credit for, she pulls harder until I'm sitting next to her on the bed, her body wrapped partially around me, thighs, stomach and chest pressed against me. My pants tighten uncomfortably as the attraction that's been growing between us hits me. I shift to adjust myself, my eyes glued to her, my breath coming in short bursts. I can't remember wanting a woman this badly. Ever.

As her eyes close again, I give in to one small temptation and bend down to kiss her forehead, then place her hand on the bed and pull myself out of her embrace.

"Cade… my Cade" she whispers my name with a breath, then falls into her dreams.

Grabbing my toiletries, I head to the bathroom. My body feels hot. Too hot. I need to cool off, to think. Getting close to this girl is a bad idea. She's not a one night stand or a summer fling. I refuse to treat her as such.

As I force myself not to think of her, my mind wanders to Stevie. Being the caregiver is a role I'm used to. I miss him more tonight than I have since I left. I wonder how he's doing, if he's taking his medicine without a fight and getting enough nutrients. I hope my parents are spending time with him, talking to him, paying him some attention, not just seeing to his physical and medical needs. He won't thrive without interpersonal connection.

I pause at the shower stall and pull out my cellphone, scrolling down to Mom's number. My finger hovers over the call button, but instead I press cancel, close the phone and put it away.

Stepping into the shower, I let the hot water pour over me, washing away my guilt and fear… at least for a few minutes.





WINTER DEVEAUX

CHAPTER 9





SHARP PAIN—the kind that shreds your brain and leaves you a zombie—pulls me from a delicious dream that I can't remember but will always wish I could. My eyes burn when I try to open them, the light streaming through the dorm window cutting through me like a laser, and I have a random thought that someone must have turned me into a vampire last night. It's the only thing I can imagine that would cause this much misery.

Clearly I've read too many paranormal romances.

While the bed is comfortable, the smell is familiar, but not mine. And the sun is coming from the wrong direction. When Cade fills my vision I gasp. "What? What are you doing in my room?"

Cade. My Cade. Wait, what? Where did that thought come from?

He helps me sit up and the room—not my room—spins.

"You're in my room," he says. "Do you remember anything from last night?"

He hands me a cup of coffee, which I take gratefully and sip on, the hot liquid, sweetened and creamed just the way I like it, warming my insides. "Of course I… Um. Wow. I don't know. It's all a bit hazy, like a dream. What I do remember doesn't make sense. Monsters and giants? That must have been a dream."

Then I realize I'm in his bed. Practically naked, save for the bits of fabric valiantly clinging to me from the outfit last night, his sheet draped over me to cover all my exposed flesh. "Oh my God. Did we—?"

"No. No, we didn't do anything. I slept in the spare bed. You had an allergy attack, and Jenifer gave you something for it. But it was a drug. You were high all night." He told me about macing Jenifer and then coming back to the dorm.