When the Heart Falls

Cade's arms slip around me, though there are a few inches between our bodies, space filled with heat and promise and currents of something magical. I want to press in against that space and make it disappear, to feel his whole body against mine, but I refrain, unwilling to move this in a direction I can't follow through on.


I like him. He's interesting and unexpected and obviously gorgeous, but I'd rather have him as a real friend, than do something stupid that can't possibly last and lose even our friendship.

Cade tightens his arms around me, and his lips brush against my ear lobe as he leans in to talk over the noise. "I like this song. My parents used to dance to it. Every Sunday night they'd have a little dance party with us kids. It's one of my best memories."

I imagine his family as tight-knit, loving, and the thought warms me. "Do they still dance every Sunday?"

His smile dips into a frown, the light in his eyes dimming. "No. Not since… " He hesitates. "Not since a long time."

That's not what he was going to say. Not since what? I wonder, but I don't push it. Maybe that's the complicated part. Everyone has secrets. I know that more than most.

Cade squeezes my hand, pulling me back from the dark memories. "Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah, why?" Could he tell what I was thinking about?

"Your face is looking kind of red."

"Really?" Now I'm paranoid that I look like a turnip.

"Yeah. I noticed it earlier too."

What? Earlier? Why did no one say anything? "So, I'm a walking tomato?"

"More like a rose." He spins me around before pulling me back to him.

His compliment makes my face turn even redder. And my ears are itching again. I clear my throat and make a very unladylike noise, but it doesn't help, and I'm just more embarrassed. "I need to use the bathroom."

The song ends, and I run off before my face gets worse.

I stare at my skin in the bathroom mirror. Red and splotchy. Is it a sunburn? I splash cold water over my face, hoping I don't smear my make-up everywhere.

Jenifer walks in as I pat myself dry. The water didn't help.

"Hey, I've been looking for you, girl." She hugs me from the side. "Oh, honey, you don't look too good."

"I'm just feeling a little off. It's just sunburn. I think."

"Well, you're lucky I'm here." She reaches into her purse and pulls out a pill. "This will help with the irritation."

"Thanks." I pop the pill in my mouth and swallow it with water from the sink.

"Thank me later. Right now, we need to party."



"Where did you go?" Jenifer's voice sounds squeaky, like a cartoon mouse.

I giggle and watch the lights dance around her head. "Walking. Walking and talking and planning revenge."

"Uh-huh. Okay, well, are you having fun?" Jenifer splits into two, and I don't know which one to look at.

"Fun. Bun. Fun in the sun. I can rhyme and tell the time. I'm a writer, making the world brighter." I grab her hand and pull her to the place where people mooove. "Let's dance!"

Jenifer laughs. "Guess you are having fun."

We dance. We move. We transcend time and place and rebirth the world in our gyrating. And then I stop. "I need a drink."

"Okay."

The bar is across the room, so far away. I fly to it on a rainbow. When the counter reaches for me, I embrace it. "I'd like your alcohol, pleeeeease."

"What kind of alcohol, mademoiselle?"

"The alcoholic kind, of course." Duh!

I reach for the cold glass he brings. It's iced over and blue. Ice Queen. That's what he brought me. "I'm not an Ice Queen," I tell him. "I'm hot!" I sip my drink, which burns down my throat, and nearly drop it when I look out at the dance floor. "What's he doing here?"

Rodney. Rodney, podney, lodney. Mr. Asshat, Assbat, Assrat. I hate him. That hate burns more than the alcohol. He has red flames around him, burning him up, and he doesn't even know it. I see the monster inside of him.

Fire and ice.

Jenifer follows my gaze. "He's such a jerk. I'm sorry."

"We should kill him." This is, of course, my destiny. I know it now. How silly of me to have never seen it before.

Jenifer chokes on her drink. "What?"

"I want to kill him." I pull my new toy out of my purse.

Jenifer's eyes get big, like a bug. Bug eyes. Bug. Bug. "Wait. Where'd you get that knife?"

I look at the switchblade in my hand. "What? This? I carry it in my purse."

She grabs my hand and pulls it down. "Winter, you need to put that away."

"Okay." I drop it in my purse and pull out another new toy. I have lots of toys. I can use any of them.

"Oh my God!" Now Jenifer has the red face. Haha! "What's that?"

I shake the can in my hand. "Pepper spray."

"Where'd you even get these things?" She's shaking, and grey smoke comes off her skin like she's turning to ash.

"From a giant." I met a giant in Paris. I'll write a book about it someday. Book, hook, nook.

"Winter, focus. What giant? What are you talking about?" She's shaking me now, but I don't want to be shooked. Shaked? Shaken. That's it. I don't want to be shaken.

I point at the giant. He's at least seven feet tall, with muscles everywhere and painted in colorful tattoos. So preeetty. He even let me touch one.

"Winter, we can't hurt Rodney. Put the can away."

I hold the can behind her back. If she can't see it, it's not really there. "What can?"