I heard him inhale and exhale slowly, deliberately.
‘Emily,’ he said, his tone suddenly measured. ‘Will you please open the door?’
I put the chain across. ‘Do you promise you’ll stay calm?’
‘Yes, I promise.’
As soon as I twisted the latch, the door took flight, the sheer force snapping the chain off its hinge. I fell to the floor as it swung towards me, my arms flailing helplessly against the power of Adam on the other side. He was looming over me and I knew then the terrible mistake I had made. I willed myself to get up, but my legs wouldn’t work. I stumbled, half crawling up the stairs, scrambling for the top, yet knowing that by doing so, I was blocking off any means of getting out. But I had to be what stood between Adam and Poppy. I couldn’t let him anywhere near her.
I made a grab for the top step, still on all fours, when he yanked my ankle, pulling me back down. My scalp felt like it was lifting off my skull as he picked me up by my hair. I had one arm up in the air, trying to unfurl his fist that was twisted deep into my hair, and the other reaching down to get some leverage on the stairs. My hip took the brunt, as it slammed against each unforgiving step as Adam dragged me up. I wanted to cry out, but I needed to stay quiet for Poppy. I didn’t know what Adam was capable of.
He hauled me along the landing. I tried to get to my feet but he was too strong, and the more I struggled, the more force he used.
‘Please,’ I cried out. ‘Please stop.’
He threw me into the living room and looked down on me. It was the first time I’d seen his face, his eyes bulging with fury, his features distorted by rage.
‘Please, will you just listen to me,’ I pleaded.
‘You whore,’ he spat, his breath reeking of alcohol. ‘Do you think you can make a fool out of me?’ Spittle was hanging from his mouth.
‘No, never. I never would.’
His hand flew down and struck me across the face, catching my browbone. My skin stung and I could feel a lump instantly form.
He paced up and down, clenching and unclenching his fists as I cowered in front of him.
‘It’s not what you think,’ I said. ‘Please, you have to believe me.’
‘I know exactly what it is. You’re fucking my brother.’ He threw his head back and gave an exaggerated laugh. ‘My fiancée, mother of my child, has been sneaking around, behind my back, to fuck my brother.’
‘I haven’t,’ I implored. ‘You’re being ridiculous.’
He stopped stock-still and stared straight at me with wild eyes. ‘Is she even my daughter?’ he bellowed. ‘Is Poppy even mine?’
I knelt at his feet. ‘Of course she is. You know she is. I’ve never been unfaithful to you. Please, you must know that.’
He crouched down beside me and clamped hold of my face. ‘So why is he so caught up with you then?’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ I managed.
‘He’s just dragged me away from the girl I was with, and punched me in the face, because, apparently, I was disrespecting you.’
The tiny part of my heart that wasn’t already broken smashed into a million pieces. ‘You were with another girl?’ I asked, determined to keep my voice calm. ‘At our daughter’s christening?’
‘Yeah, and we were having a good time, a really good time.’
‘You bastard,’ I spat.
He looked at me and laughed. ‘Oh, you bought all that shit the last time?’
I didn’t say a word, just watched him as he kept laughing at me.
‘You did, didn’t you? Oh, that is fucking brilliant. But here, I’ll let you into a little secret . . .’ He leant in close, his breath hot on my cheek. ‘I’ve never been faithful to you. How could I? There’s nothing you do that turns me on. You leave me cold.’ He shuddered for effect. ‘Yet you’re so pathetically grateful every time I come near you.’
I spat at him, a big globule landing on his cheek.
His hand came from nowhere, hitting the side of my head, sending me sprawling backwards. It felt like my teeth were spilling out of my mouth one by one, like they do in my dreams, and I clamped my mouth shut in an effort to stop them.
He pushed me onto my back and sat astride me, pinning me to the ground. ‘But that’s okay, because now I know you’ve been screwing around too.’
He’d reminded himself why he was so mad, and he bore down on me, putting his hands around my throat.
My eyes searched his, trying to find a way back from this madness, looking for a sliver of light to make this all stop. But they were as black as night, his pupils so dilated that they almost filled the colour around them. I tried to get my fingers between his and the skin on my neck, but his grip was too tight. He wasn’t squeezing yet, he was just enjoying the fear it provoked.
‘I didn’t, we’ve never . . .’ His grip around my throat was getting tighter with every word I uttered. I felt like I was going to another place, somewhere other than here, but in the distance, I could hear a cry, faint at first, then growing louder. I snapped my eyes open at the realization that it was Poppy, and Adam, stopped by the same sound, started to lift himself off me.
‘No!’ I screamed, making a grab for him, pulling on his hair, his shirt collar, anything I could get traction on. He hit my hand away, but as he went to stand up, I launched myself at him with all my strength. I couldn’t let him near Poppy. I hung onto his back, clawing and scratching at any part of him. I reached around to his face, my thumbs blindly searching for his eyes, all the time his bulk was trying to shake me free, but I clung on. I would not let him near my little girl.
He reared up and smashed me into the architrave of the living-room door as he went towards Poppy’s room. ‘No!’ I wailed again. I pulled him back with all my might and he lost his footing, stumbling on the landing, with me underneath him. He got to his feet as I manacled myself around his leg, trying to hold onto him, but I lost my grip. Poppy’s cry was getting ever louder or we were getting ever nearer, sending my senses into overdrive. I could hear her tears, could hear my screams, but there was something else, another noise I couldn’t decipher.
Blinded by blood and tears, I waited for Poppy’s cries to stop as her daddy picked her up. She wasn’t to know that the man comforting her was as far away from a father as anyone could possibly be.
‘It’s over,’ said a voice. A woman’s voice.
My brain banged against my skull, as I willed myself to make sense of what was going on. I looked up, through the slit of an eye that was fast closing up, and saw a figure standing in the doorway of Poppy’s room. I dragged myself up to a sitting position and forced myself to focus. I saw my baby first, nestled in the arms of this unknown entity, her little body being gently rocked back and forth. A fear that was almost tangible shot through me as I took in the face of the person holding her. Pammie.
I couldn’t make sense of it. Were they in this together? Is this what they had been plotting all along?
‘Give me my baby!’ I scrabbled to get up, but Adam, standing between us, pushed me back down.
‘It’s over,’ Pammie repeated, her voice shaking.
‘Give her to me,’ I cried out again, desperate to feel her in my arms. My mind fast-forwarded to see Pammie running down the stairs and out into the street with my baby. To where, I didn’t know. My heart felt like it had stopped beating – a dead weight in my chest.
‘Please,’ I begged, holding my hands out towards her.
‘Mum,’ said Adam, his tone suddenly calm. ‘Give her to me.’
‘I know what you did,’ she said. ‘I saw you.’
‘Mum, don’t be stupid,’ he said, as if warning her. ‘Give Poppy to me.’
The front door banged again. ‘Mum, Emily . . . the police are on their way,’ called out James, breathlessly, as he came up the stairs to the landing. He took one look at me through the banisters and said, ‘Jesus.’