I was so fucking in love with her, I could barely stand it.
She looked up, shielding her gaze from the final light streaming through the trees. “Why are you looking at me like that?” She narrowed her eyes. “You don’t look well. In fact, you look hungry.” She stepped toward the bags. “I’ll make you something to eat. You need to put on weight—”
Grabbing her around the waist, I shook my head. “I’m not hungry for food, Della.”
She blinked, whatever tiredness she suffered vanished. “Oh.”
“Yes, oh. You’ve turned me into an addict.”
“I don’t mind.”
Nuzzling her nose with mine, I breathed softly, “It’s my turn to ask you something.”
“Okay…” She didn’t help my concentration or self-control by fixating on my mouth. “What?”
“Last night…was it okay for you? Not emotionally, but physically?”
She laughed under her breath. “Seriously?” She melted in my hold, her eyes soft and glowing. “Good? That’s a very underwhelming word for how great it was.”
“I was rough with you.”
“And I loved every second of it.” She tilted her head. “What’s this really about?”
Honestly, I didn’t truly know. I’d shown her quick and explosive, but I didn’t want her to think that was my only trick. And I didn’t want her to think I was some idiot who needed affirmation that he’d performed well.
This wasn’t about me.
This was about her.
This was about pleasing her, so she never looked elsewhere again.
This was about me ensuring my heart would never be broken when she realised I wasn’t everything she hoped I would be.
“Last night was the best night of my life, Della. Is it wrong that I hoped it was the same for you?”
Her body tensed. “It was.”
“Can I try to make it better?”
“There’s no need. I loved every—”
“I had you pinned in the dirt while rutting into you like a savage. Tonight, I need to show you I’m more than that.”
“I know you are.” She pressed a kiss to my cheek. “I love you as a savage. That savage made me come for the first time, so believe me, I loved it just as much as you did.”
“Wait.” I reared back, holding her at arm’s length. “What do you mean, the first time you came?”
She blushed. “I’m saying…I’d never come before.”
“But…” My mind whirled on all the times she’d thrown hints and secrets in my face, daring me to rise to the bait, tormenting me on a daily basis. “You implied. You said—”
“That I’d made myself orgasm to thoughts of you?” She sighed. “Yes, I know. I wanted you to have that mental picture. Sorry.” She winced a little as I glared at her. “The truth is, I did try. I’ve touched myself while thinking about you, but even though I wanted you enough to overlook certain rules, I could never get past the fact that you didn’t want me. Every time I got close, I…I couldn’t do it. The shame would be too much to bear, and I’d stop.”
I rubbed my face with a hand. “So you’re saying you’ve spent your entire life frustrating yourself and never finding a release?”
She laughed under her breath. “I guess you could say that.”
“No wonder living with you made me on edge.” I chuckled painfully, coughing once. “Every time I looked at you, Della, the way you stared at me almost brought me to my knees. The amount of times I lectured myself that I was imagining it, picking up on things that weren’t there.” I shook my head, reliving the agony of sharing a house with the one person I couldn’t have. “You made my life a lot harder than it should’ve been.”
She smiled sinfully. “Yes, but it meant I got you in the end, so I have no regrets.”
I fell quiet, letting the past crash over me but no longer suffering the same guilt as before. Maybe Della was right, and everything had happened for a reason. Maybe I’d never let myself care for anyone else because I knew I’d never be able to share my heart with anyone other than her. And maybe she’d never made herself orgasm because all along she’d been waiting for me to—
I groaned, wedging my fingers against my temples as yet another tormenting thought appeared.
“What? What is it?” Della scooted closer. “You have that look again.”
“What look?”
“The look that says you want to whip yourself for ever thinking about touching me.”
“First, I’ll never feel that way again. Ever. As far as I’m concerned, your body is mine just like mine is yours. And second, just because you know me doesn’t mean you can predict everything about me.”
“Well, you should accept that last night needed to happen the way it did. It was never going to be slow and sweet, Ren. We’d been edging to exploding for years.”
I nodded, picking up on her wavelength just as I used to do when she was young. “It smashed through our perceptions. Changed the relationship between us.”
“Exactly.” She shifted to kiss my stubble-covered cheek. I hadn’t shaved in a few days and didn’t have the urge out here. “And now, stop changing the subject and tell me what you’re truly thinking.”
She was right. Last night was never going to be anything more than a feral battle because we had far too much history between us. History that held different dynamics and ages and pent-up secrets we hadn’t shared.
Now, things were out in the open.
And we had so much to look forward to.
Cupping her cheeks, my touch sent goosebumps ricocheting down her arms. “I’ve taught you almost everything you know. Just like you’ve taught me.”
Her breath came feathery and light. “Yes.”
“Would it be sick of me to teach you something else?”
Her gaze hooded as she leaned into me. “Teach me what?”
I licked my lips, drawn to her, unable to stop the way her heart hooked mine. “How to come. Not just when being ruthlessly taken but with my fingers inside you, my tongue licking you, my cock fucking you. So many different ways. I want to be the one to teach you all of them.”
She gasped, then shook her head slowly. “I-I wouldn’t mind.”
The shy happiness in her tone undid me.
Bringing her close, I kissed her hard. “Good answer, Little Ribbon. Let’s start now.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
DELLA
2018
REN’S KISSES WERE something made of fantasy.
Hard and rough. Swift and sexy. Deep and lingering. Whenever he kissed me, it didn’t matter if it was a peck or a meal, he completely hijacked my thoughts and body.
And that was how I went from standing in my jeans and bra to him undoing my belt and zipper, pushing the denim down my legs, then reverently removing my black bikini briefs before pulling the sports bra over my head.
Once I was naked, he kissed me harder, plucked me from the ground as if I weighed nothing and carried me in arms that bunched and trembled with an intoxicating mix of love and lust.
My legs automatically wrapped around his waist, our lips never unlocking as he toed off his boots, kicked them aside, and marched fully clothed toward the gurgle and chuckle of the river.
He licked me deep and clutched me strong, trading dry land for a water-world as if he outran echoes from our past and bravely stormed into our future.
“What are you doing?” I gasped when he continued walking. Water sucked at his socks, saturating his jeans. His steps became wades as we traded the shallows to a darkened pool where the current didn’t disrupt the crystal clarity of the surface.
Once there, he ducked to his knees and pulled me down into the cool, crisp embrace of the river.
His breath caught from the chill, a tiny rattle roughening his voice. “Making love to you.”
Somehow, it felt as if he bowed to me. Worshipping me all while his tongue said he planned to corrupt me with an evening of ecstasy.
The coolness of the running water stole the remainders of our breaths as it flowed between us, making our bodies tense. His eyes caught mine, hooded and heated as he grabbed my chin and pulled me back into a kiss.
I gasped into his mouth, shuddering from the sudden temperature change and the refreshing lick of liquid.