“What does that mean for us?” My voice was smoky and hot.
“It means you made me do this. You made me this way. I promised I wouldn’t push you, but Ren…you’ve been torturing me. When you licked my tattoo…? God, I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m in a state of permanent wetness.”
I choked on the sudden avalanche of lust. “Della—”
“Too much for you? Too honest?” Her cheeks burned with the same sexual fever I suffered. “Too bad. You’re to blame.”
I chuckled darkly. “Me? It’s you I can’t keep my hands off. It’s your fault I constantly need to touch you, kiss you.”
“So do it.”
“I don’t know if I can be gentle.” I shook my head. “No, I know I can’t be gentle. Not after—”
“I’m not asking for gentle.” She smiled thinly, almost angry with me in her desire. “I’m asking for you to put me out of my misery. No more teasing. We face this. Together. Right now.”
I gulped as I stepped toward her, already lost. “Face what we’ve been running from for years?”
She nodded sharply. “No more running.”
I sucked in a lust-heavy breath, coughing once. “No more running.” I stepped again. Entirely entranced by the violent hunger lashing us together. It was so damn powerful it muted everything else.
No thoughts. No accusations. No fear.
Just us.
As it had always been.
My mind raced, already drunk on images of how good we’d be together. Of how she’d feel as I slipped inside her. Of how hot and wet and—
I was too far gone for more memories to find me. Too twisted to let echoes pull me back. But in some shred of rationality, a voice entered my ears with warning.
Not Della’s or mine, but Cassie’s.
Protection.
The night I’d lost my virginity. The night I’d learned about condoms and STIs and unwanted pregnancies. Thanks to that lesson, I’d never slept with a woman without a condom. It was paramount. It was law.
Christ.
It took every strength, and then some I borrowed from the devil himself, to step back. “Shit, we can’t do this.”
“What? Why?”
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I did my best to swallow back hot, hungry rage. The rage that very much wanted to forget about the rules and take her anyway. “We don’t have protection. I didn’t bring any.”
What was I thinking?
Why did I forget something so important—almost as if I’d banished the very idea of sleeping with her, believing it would never happen no matter how much I wanted it to.
I’d done this deliberately, even if I denied my moronic logic.
Della blinked calculatingly, holding up her hand. A single condom rested in her palm. “I did.”
“Where did you get that?”
“Does it matter?”
I ought to feel absolute horror that my last attempt at ensuring this was right had just been eradicated. But all I felt was relief. Sheer, indescribable relief.
It was the final straw.
The last hint to show I was ready.
So, so ready.
I dropped my hand, giving her a grateful smirk. “Thank fuck for that.”
She laughed unexpectedly, her lips spread over perfect teeth. “Even if we didn’t, I wouldn’t have been able to stop. Not now.”
“Me neither.”
“Good.”
“God, you’ve made me hard.”
She sucked in a breath. “And now you’ve just made me even wetter.”
If I thought the forest was quiet before, watching us shed away every shackle we’d imposed, I was wrong.
Now the trees vanished, the river disappeared, and all I saw was Della. We’d just been graphically honest, yet a joke mixed present with past, making me chuckle under my breath. “Thank everything holy, I taught you to always be prepared.”
Her laugh turned to a breathy moan. “Ren…if you don’t touch me soon, I’m going to combust.”
I lowered my head, watching her with half-hooded eyes. “I like seeing you like this.”
“Like what?”
“Desperate.”
She took another step. “So, so desperate.”
“You have no idea how filthy my thoughts have become.”
“If they’re anything like mine, I have some idea.”
“Fuck, Della.” I balled my hands, matching her step with one of my own. “Is this real? Are we really going to do this? It isn’t another dream? Because I’ve dreamed of this. So many times.”
“Touch me and find out.”
My hand raised, crossing the final distance, tingling with intensity to touch the one girl I’d loved forever.
I’d always known Della was special. But what I hadn’t known was every year I fought to keep her safe, I was ultimately protecting every dream I’d ever had. I’d had the privilege of raising her, but really, I’d been creating a future I’d never be able to deserve. Every winter snowstorm and summer rain shower, forest adventure and paddock picnic had all been leading to this.
I’d been searching for something all my life, and it had been under my nose the entire time.
Her.
My past, present, and future.
The only path I could have taken.
It wasn’t a choice anymore.
It had never been a choice.
I stumbled toward her as she stumbled toward me, both starving for touch. Even before my fingers landed on her arm, they stung with electricity so sharp it crackled between us.
Our eyes locked as I whispered, “If we do this, it’s no longer just a fantasy.”
“I know.”
“We do this, and everything changes. Forever.”
“I know.”
“If I touch you, I’ll never be able to stop.”
“God, touch me then.” Her eyes fell shut as we met in the middle of the small clearing.
Having her that close undid me to the point of forgetting everything else.
I didn’t care about the repercussions anymore.
I’d literally exhausted myself to the point of not being able to fight.
There was nothing to fight against…only something to fight for.
“Open your eyes, Della.” I growled as the savage part of me licked its lips for what it was about to taste.
I was seconds away from giving her every disgusting sin I’d lived with. I needed her to understand that by tempting me this way, I would no longer have any control.
Her eyelids fluttered upward, her gaze heavy and heated.
We stared into each other, stripping ourselves bare.
“Tell me to stop,” I begged. Even on the cusp of no return, I pleaded for salvation.
“I can’t.” She bit her lip, looking me up and down with such pain-filled greed, my belly clenched. “I’ll never be able to do that.”
Everything about me burned. On fire. Seconds away from erupting into fury. “You’ve always pushed me. Forever tested me.”
“And you’ve always indulged me. Forever protected me,” she breathed shallowly, her gaze locking onto my lips. “I’m sick of you protecting me.”
Our chests brushed as I sucked in a breath, knowing it would be my last one for a while. I was about to drown in her. And I didn’t care if I damn well suffocated. “If I kiss you now…it’s all over.”
“Stop trying to scare me off and do it.”
“So bossy.” I smirked.
“I don’t know how else to tell you I want you, Ren.” Her eyes flashed with temper. “I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to stop. I don’t want you to treat me kindly or gently or softly. I want you to show me. I want you to take me, just like you said you—”
I snatched her into my arms and kissed her so damn hard our teeth clacked.
I showed her.
And then I showed her again.
And again.
I kissed her harder than I’d ever kissed her.
I let our week-long foreplay drag us down and down, deeper and deeper where heartbeats and blood reigned and the only thing we needed to do was connect.
Connect in the most primitive way possible.
She cried out as I plunged my tongue past the seam of her lips, forcing her to accept me, commanding she dance to the same feral song.
We fought to get closer—her wedging into me and me bowing over her. My hands turned to claws, holding her cruelly.
Nothing was enough.
No scratch intense enough. No bite painful enough.
There was nothing civil about us.
We were animals.
Dirty, filthy animals that had reached a dirty, filthy level and had nowhere else to go.