The Fear That Divides Us (The Devil's Dust #3)

“Hey, I am going to see Grandma Wren today. You want to come, hun?” I ask, getting my coffee fix. I can’t get enough of coffee, without it, there is no way I would have survived Addie’s baby years, or the difficult hours of my job.

“No thank you,” she replies, not taking her eyes from the screen.

“How come?” I question, grabbing a mug from the cabinet.

“Just don’t feel like it today,” she responds. I shrug. I am not going to force her to see my mom. I know she can be a little too excited when she sees Addie, coming off crazy with her high screams and arms held out wide.

I get dressed in a white shirt and blue jeans, throw on my flats, and head across the hall to Bree’s apartment.

I knock on it sipping my warm coffee. Hopefully, she won’t be taking any exams today and can keep an eye on Addie, otherwise Addie will have to come with me.

“Hey, what’s up?” Bree asks, opening the door. Her dark hair is pulled into messy pigtails, and she is still wearing her pajamas.

“Have you been to bed yet?” I laugh, looking at her bloodshot eyes.

“Yeah, I got a couple hours of sleep. I have a paper due and waited ‘til the last minute,” she yawns, pushing her glasses up.

“Can you watch Addie for me today? I am going to go see my mom and Addie isn’t up for it.”

“Yeah, sure, babe, let me grab my books,” she replies, twirling her left pigtail.

“Awesome, make yourself at home. I have plenty of groceries if you get hungry,” I add, walking back into my apartment to grab my purse and phone. I lean over the overstuffed couch and give Addie’s head a big kiss, her smell of bubble gum shampoo wafting around me. I’ll never get tired of that smell. It’s a smell of comfort and a reminder of how blessed I am to have her. If Travis and I did anything right in our relationship, it was creating her.

“Be good, baby. Call me if you need me,” I mumble into her hair.

She nods, while keeping her eyes glued to the TV.

***

I drive to the country club that is over two hours away. My mother has my back with Travis’s disappearance, but I can’t take any chances. I wish I could see her more, but to put Addie and me so close to Travis’s side of the family in Nevada is too risky. Nobody asked questions when I said I was moving after Travis’s disappearance luckily, making it easy to get away from any suggestion that I had something to do with him being missing. I simply said I couldn’t be in our house anymore; that it brought too many memories. Everyone took it to be endearing, but in reality, I meant it in a traumatic way.

I pull up to the white marbled building, a huge bright green golf course surrounding the estate, with a red barn filled with top-bred horses sitting off in the distance. It’s a country club for the wealthy; it’s the only place my mother ever wants to meet.

I drive onto the circular drive, parking under the canopy where a valet stands professionally with his arms crossed behind his back. Wearing a black hat and a maroon vest, his cheeks are shaved clean and his brown eyes greet me brightly.

His eyes form a scowl as he eyes my Jeep. My car is not something he is used to seeing at such an establishment I’m sure.

I climb out and toss him the keys, causing him to eye me like I’ve lost my mind. I wink and walk inside, heading to the restaurant in the club. The carpet is soft under the soles of my flats, and the smell of expensive cigars and perfume invite me as I walk in.

Looking over the sea of white-clothed tables, I spot my mother right away. Her blonde hair is flawless, skirting down her shoulders, a poufy hat on her head, and she is wearing some hideous peach-colored dress. She hands a fork to a waiter with a disgusted look on her face, before her eyes catch mine. She immediately stands, her eyes sparking with excitement. I smirk and head over to her.

“Jessica, my dear,” my mother greets, taking me into a big hug. Her perfume is strong; I can’t even make out what it smells like aside from alcohol. It makes my head swim from the fumes.

“Where is Addie?” my mother asks, looking behind me as if Addie will magically appear.

“She wasn’t feeling up to it today,” I reply, sitting on the stylish chair across from her.

“I see,” she replies, disappointed as she takes her seat. “I wish she would have come. I hardly get to see her as it is,” she continues, her tone calculating and stern.

I give a tightlipped smile and pick the menu up. My mother may seem like an over-the-top priss but she really isn’t. I have seen her when she’s not in the public’s eyes, or around my father. She is awesome and actually kind of cool. But she would gasp in horror if she heard me refer to her as cool.

“Are you going to give me any more grand babies, Jessica?” she asks casually, gazing over her menu. “Have you met anyone yet?” she continues to question after I chose to ignore her. I sigh heavily; we have this conversation every time we see each other.

“I’m going to give you the same answer as last time; no,” I answer just as casually, looking over my menu.