My mother collapses her arms on her menu and groans. Her face doesn’t scowl or frown from all the Botox, but I can tell she is displeased.
“You are free, Jessica. You can be with anyone now. Why are you doing this to yourself?” she nags, shaking her head.
My mother doesn’t know about my fear, or that I have night terrors of Travis. She had no idea that I was terrified of falling in love with someone. I keep everyone at bay to keep that from happening in fact. I loved Travis. I fell for him hard after he took my virginity when we were younger. I was one of those girls, yes. After he literally beat me into not loving him, preaching in my ear that I was unlovable, the last thing I want to do is get cozy with any man.
My mother knows nothing of that. She refers to me being free and being able to be with anyone I want, and has done so since I was a teenager, or more specifically, from the first time I rebelled against my father. We were at one of our usual stuck-up family gatherings. My mother was showing her new furniture off while my father was handing out expensive cigars, and I was outside on the patio away from it all. I didn’t even know everyone. My family gatherings consisted of a handful of actual family members and high-profile couples my parents knew. If my father or mother saw me, they would call me over and brag about how well I was doing in my educational courses. How I had colleges already interested. It was humiliating. I loved medicine, don’t get me wrong. But sometimes, I just wanted to run with the wind to see where it took me.
I was sitting outside in some over-the-top black dress my mother insisted I wear in the heat of the summer, bored out of my mind when I met Vincent. I had seen him from parties my parents had before. He would stare at me from afar, an alluring smirk across his face as his eyes devoured me. He made me feel taboo. The unknowing in the ripe ages of my teen years.
The day I actually talked to Vincent, he was wearing black dress pants, and a button up shirt that was partially unbuttoned at the neck, and he had the sleeves rolled to his elbows. He wasn’t that attractive really, but was different from most of the people I came across.
“Why are you sulking? Did princess not get her way?” Vincent ridiculed as I sat on the fluffy patio chair.
“Excuse me?” I questioned, holding my arm up to shield my eyes from the blazing sun. He smirked and looked out over the pool, running his hands through his short sandy-colored hair. He pulled a cigarette from behind his ear and lit it. He slid his gaze from the pool and looked at me, his vibrant eyes looking me up and down as he blew smoke out of his nose into the summer heat.
“So why are you so sad?” he asked, taking a drag from his cigarette.
“I’m not sad. I’m just bored,” I replied, wrapping my arms around myself. I had never had anyone talk to me in such a manner before.
“Bored?” he scoffed, sliding his tongue over his bottom lip that looked like it was healing from being split open. “What do you do for fun?” he questioned, humor lacing his words, implying I wouldn’t know what fun was.
“I don’t know, stuff,” I responded, tucking a stray hair behind my ear.
“Stuff?” he snorted. “Like being nose deep into some medical book?” he asked condescendingly, tilting his head to the side as he placed the cigarette between his teeth. I couldn’t stop looking at him. He was bad, so very bad, but beautifully bad.
“Everyone around here has heard how Jessica Wren is destined for great things. Hell, my father won’t shut up about how great Dr. Wren’s daughter is,” he huffed, pacing around me. I shook my head and gritted my teeth. I hated how my father showboated; I was nothing special. The only reason I did so well in my academics was because he drilled my head into medical book after medical book. I was homeschooled by the best.
I stood up and grabbed his cigarette from his mouth, placing the butt of it between my glossed lips.
“I have a lot of fun; I’ll have you know,” I responded, taking a drag. Its metal taste burned my throat, urging me to cough, but I held it back. He smirked, his grayish eyes looking at me with interest.
“So, then what are you waiting for?” he asked, his smile daring and scandalous as he took the cigarette from between my fingers.
“What?” I questioned, my eyes widening in panic.
“Let’s go. Show me what you do for fun,” he continued smoothly, grabbing my hand. My heart pounded faster than it ever had as he ran toward a bright red barn near the property line, my hand in his sweaty palm.