Cane placed one knee on either side of me, pinning both my hands firmly above my head with one of his. He leaned down, his face inches from mine.
“I want to touch every part of your body, Jada. I want to make every part of your body mine.”
All thoughts of fighting my attraction for him were long gone. I was putty in his hands.
I tipped my chin and his mouth crushed mine, owning it. I kissed him back with everything I had. He growled at my responsiveness, which only made me want him more.
His mouth moved more urgently. He nibbled my bottom lip and I couldn’t hold back the whimper that escaped against his mouth. As soon as I made the sound, Cane immediately broke the kiss. He pulled back, panting. My eyes searched his, wild and fierce, as I struggled to catch my breath.
“Cane,” I whispered raggedly, not sure why he stopped when I so desperately needed more.
He closed his eyes and rolled off the bed, pacing a circle in the room.
My head was spinning. I scrambled to sit up, my body feeling bereft without his touch. “Cane?” I asked again, my voice shaking.
He ran his hands through his hair, clearly agitated. He paced around a few more seconds before he stopped moving and turned to look at me.
My heart pounded, uncertainty and confusion warring inside my head.
“I’m not going to do this,” he said quietly, his voice rough.
I stopped breathing as I stared at him in shock. “What? You’re kidding me right now, right?”
“I can’t do this.” He threw his head back and chuckled. “I can’t even fucking believe this,” he said more to himself than anything.
“What’s wrong? Did I do something?”
His head jerked back up. “No, baby. You did nothing wrong at all.” The term of endearment wrapped around me, protecting me just a bit from the sting of being rejected.
“If we do this—if I push this, you will hate me.”
“You’re not pushing anything. I want this, Cane. I really want this.”
He took the few steps between us quickly and bent down to eye level. “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything as much as this,” he whispered, brushing a lock of hair out of my face. “But you aren’t that girl, Jada. And I can’t treat you like one. I’m probably going to have to give up my man card for this shit, but I won’t let you do this to yourself.”
“I’m a woman—we change our minds. I’m definitely that girl,” I reassured him.
He laughed softly. “But you’re really not. One day, maybe you will want this for real and I will give it to you like you’ve never had it before. But right now, ironically, I’m the one that has to go.”
He kissed me on the forehead as he stood up and walked out of my room.
I heard him call for Max and the door slam roughly as I sat there, not sure what in the hell had just happened.
JADA
The water was cool as I pushed through it, arm over arm, lap after lap, until exhaustion finally set in.
I swam to the steps and trudged out of the pool, my limbs deliciously heavy. I walked to the cabinets on the patio where Kari kept the beach towels, grabbing the first one my fingers touched. I tossed it back in the cabinet, exchanging the blue one for a red striped version.
Screw everything blue—blue towels, blue skies, and blue fucking eyes.
It was a pair of aqua orbs that I couldn’t outswim, outwork, outrun. Cane’s beautiful eyes as he knelt in front of me, full of sincerity, telling me I wasn’t that girl.
Bullshit.
I scrubbed my face with the red towel.
I had managed to keep busy over the last week, filling my days with more work than anyone should ever take on and my nights with dinners with my father, movies with Kari, and epic conversations with Heather. Simon Powers had called the day before about Solomon Place and ended up asking to take me to dinner, but I had turned him down. I just wasn’t in the mood to deal with a date.
But on Wednesday, Dad was sick, Kari was working at the hospital, and Heather was at a concert with her new rocker boyfriend, Brian. With only myself to count on for a distraction, I had jumped in the pool and swam as hard and fast as possible.
Everything is so confusing!
I wanted desperately to believe what I read in Cane’s eyes. I wanted to believe that he was really doing what he thought was best for me. But I knew better. People in general, and men especially, were in it to win it. Cane was no different. Only a fool would believe that.
Tears pricked my eyes and I fought them from falling. I blinked rapidly and forced myself to get angry.
Remember—he’s ‘the coach’. He was clear that he just wanted one night. I guess getting me to admit that I wanted him was enough. At least he let me down easy.
I breathed deeply, holding on to the anger that was surging past the self-pity.
He won. I handed another asshole a victory. Accept it for what it is and get over it.
I wrapped the towel snugly around my waist and headed into the house, finally feeling like I may be able to sleep. I was physically exhausted but, more than that, I was emotionally drained.