Simon is listening intently. ‘No,’ he says. ‘This all definitely comes as news.’
‘Seriously? Louise has never told you?’ I’m astonished. ‘She was in the booth behind us in the pub that afternoon, listening to every word.’
His mouth falls open. ‘She was actually there? So I’ve always thought you ended everything between us because you wanted to, but in fact it was because Louise intimidated you? Blackmailed you, to be more precise?’
‘Yes,’ I admit simply. What else is there to say? ‘Although, I wasn’t really myself at the time anyway, of course.’
He stands still for a moment, just looking at me. ‘Well. Brava Louise. Mission accomplished.’
‘Simon, it’s probably best that you go, and don’t come back here.’ I cross my arms uncomfortably. ‘And that is me saying it this time. Not anyone else.’
‘Of course. I won’t disturb you, or Ben, again. I’m selling the house, as you know, and in fact I have a new job in Surrey too, so I won’t really be around in any case. It was very nice to see you again though, Jessica,’ he concludes politely, starting to walk away, ‘and I truly am delighted to see that life has treated you more kindly these last few years. Do take care, won’t you?’
‘You too.’
It’s as if we are complete strangers and, just for the briefest of moments, I consider how much I loved him all those years ago, when he swings back suddenly. ‘Jess, when you told me in the pub that you had never loved me, it was all a mistake, was that true, or was that what Louise told you to say?’
‘What she told me to say.’
‘And that I was never to contact you?’
‘Yes. That was her too. She told me she would destroy Ben. There was no doubt in my mind that she meant it.’
He looks momentarily devastated. I glance down at his hand holding the flowers. His knuckles have gone white he’s gripping them so hard. ‘So all this time, when I thought…’
I hesitate. ‘Simon—’
But just as suddenly, he’s smiling again. ‘It’s OK. Let’s just not. What’s done is done. All the best, Jess. Really, I mean that. Take care.’ He gives me an odd little wave and then turns on the spot, making his jacket swing as he strides back towards his car. I’ve closed the door before he’s even reached the bottom of the drive.
* * *
Ed arrives back five minutes later to find me sat on the sofa unseeingly watching TV, imagining Simon returning to that dark, oppressive jumble of a house in which he and Louise live. Trying to make sense of what I’ve just told him.
‘Did you put any plates in the oven?’
I shake my head.
‘OK,’ he shrugs. ‘No worries. You alright? You look stressed.’
‘I’m fine. Just trying to relax a bit.’
‘I’m not surprised, after today. Why don’t you stay put and I’ll bring it through to you?’
Sure enough, a couple of moments later, he bustles back in and passes me my food.
‘All quiet?’ He nods at the ceiling, above which James lies sleeping.
‘Yes. All fine. He hasn’t made a peep.’
We start to eat, Ed flicking around the movie channels as I consider how to tell him that Simon has just been here. He’s going to be understandably furious, and have a million questions:
But how did he find us?
What did he want?
What do you mean he waited for me to go before he came to the door?
Do you still believe this is all just a coincidence?
Well if it’s nothing to worry about, why didn’t you tell him who I really am?
OK, I take your point – because Louise thinks I’m Ben, you want Simon to think that as well, and while I get you’re still doing it to protect Ben, what about protecting us?
I can’t see what’s going to stop her coming here and potentially going for you again, given how obsessed she is with you. Do you?
All of which are very good questions. Louise is evidentially unstable. She attacked me this afternoon. Suppose she followed Simon tonight, she will now know where we live.
How did we really wind up in their house today? HOW?
Ed looks over at me. ‘You’re not eating.’
‘I can’t stop thinking about Louise Strallen.’
He sighs and puts down his fork. ‘Me too. When you said the estate agent had told you we were “selected” to view the house, what do you think he meant?’
‘Well, I put it down to being marketing spiel,’ I say slowly. ‘Having seen her today, it’s perfectly clear she was in no mood to have anyone looking around – what was she even doing there at all? She called the agent a cunt, Ed. I expect they just didn’t want to risk an open house in case she lost it and scared everyone off in one fell swoop.’
‘Maybe… I don’t want to sound dramatic, but this is a woman who very obviously isn’t right in the head, and once told you she wanted to kill you. The very first thing she said was “I knew it was you”. I know I already asked you this earlier, but you’re certain you haven’t noticed anything out of the ordinary? No one following you? No odd phone calls? And you’ve had no contact from Simon?’
I swallow nervously. I have to tell him now. He’s asked me outright. ‘He came here tonight while you were getting the food. He brought flowers to apologise for Louise’s behaviour.’
‘Come again?’ Ed takes his tray off his lap and sets it on the floor. ‘Simon was here, tonight? When were you going to tell me?’
‘Ed, that’s not fair. I just have. You’ve been back for not even half an hour.’
‘How does he know where we live?’
‘The estate agent told him.’
‘WHAT? But that’s outrageous! What about the Data Protection Act? They can’t do that! Suppose she followed him here or something?’
‘That was actually my thought too,’ I confess.
‘Fucking hell.’ He puts his head in his hands for a moment, then looks up. ‘What did he say?’
‘He just told me Louise has severe alcohol problems. He’s taken a job in Surrey, so is leaving imminently. He also thinks you’re Ben, and—’
Ed grits his teeth.
‘That’s it.’
‘Nothing else weird, or strange?’
‘Not really. He seemed to be on his way somewhere else actually, he was fully suited and booted—’
‘Arsehole,’ Ed says immediately. ‘Dressing to impress, more like. Nothing else happened though, that was it?’
‘Oh, apart from he didn’t know Louise had threatened me all those years ago.’
‘Well, after today that won’t exactly come as a shock, will it? I’m going to ring the agents in the morning and give them a verbal kicking. They can’t justify giving out our address like that. Better still, I’ll go in personally. How am I supposed to protect you and James if they’re going to fuck about? And Simon! He had no business coming here, and he knows it!’
I look at Ed, my mouth slightly open. I’ve never seen him so angry.
‘Except, of course, it’s Sunday tomorrow,’ he realises aloud, ‘and they’ll be closed. I’ll have to do it on Monday instead. It’s not that I want to frighten you, Jess, but I saw the way Louise looked at you today.’ He takes a deep breath. ‘You don’t remember that woman Dan prosecuted two months ago, do you?’
I rack my brains, trying to think back through the family conversations over other Sunday lunches out when his brother-in-law might have chatted to us about his latest cases. ‘No?’
‘She murdered her ex-partner’s new wife with a kitchen knife. Daniel said it was a “crime of obsession”. She’d planned it all meticulously. She did a practice run of delivering flowers to the woman’s house, before she turned up the following week, used a stun gun on her then attacked her in the kitchen.’
‘I think I would have remembered that.’
He closes his eyes briefly. ‘Yeah – that’s because you’d taken James out into the pub garden because he was playing up, and I asked Daniel not to mention it to you. I remember now. Jesus, I’m a twat.’
‘It’s OK.’
‘No, it’s not. I’m sorry. This is just messing with my head a bit.’