‘Any news?’ Jess asked worriedly, coming into the kitchen as Alicia keyed in a text.
‘No answer,’ Alicia said, fear that something had happened to him gnawing away at her insides. He might have simply decided to stop contacting her – he wasn’t beholden to her now, after all – but the nagging voice telling her something was wrong just wouldn’t go away.
‘He’s probably busy. Out searching, possibly?’ Jessica suggested, looking as concerned as Alicia felt. ‘He might be in a bad reception area. Have you tried the hospital?’
‘I’m doing that now,’ Alicia said, waiting for the hospital to pick up.
Finding out he wasn’t there either, apprehension settled like ice in the pit of her tummy. He might not want to talk to her – might never want to ever again – but for him to remain uncontactable when there was even the slightest possibility she might be trying to get in touch with news of Sophie, that just didn’t make sense.
‘Give him another half hour,’ Jessica said, looking worried now as she checked her own phone. She knew, too, Alicia thought, that Justin wouldn’t cut all contact under these circumstances.
He would call. Please let him call. Keying in a text to him, Alicia tried to quash the insistent niggle that told her he wouldn’t. An hour later, she was half out of her mind with worry and incapable of sitting still. She had no idea where he was. He’d been looking for Sophie in the most godforsaken places. He could be anywhere. Lying injured in some backstreet. Unable to get help. Unable to call for help.
He was adamant he would find Sophie – or die trying. He’d said it. Alicia knew he would go wherever his search took him, with no regard for his own safety.
She was about to call DI Taylor when her phone rang. Terror gripped her stomach as the detective’s number flashed up.
‘Alicia, it’s Justin…’ he said, and Alicia reeled as even more of her world fell apart.
Fifty-Nine
ALICIA
Yanked from a fitful sleep, panic flooding every pore in her body, Alicia’s eyes shot to the monitor, and her heart rate returned to somewhere near normal. Reassured by the steady blip, blip indicating his vital signs were stable, she looked to where her hand still lay on Justin’s, her fingers curled softly around his. He hadn’t moved. No movement at all, apart from the rapid flicker of his eyelids as his eyes chased his dreams.
Or nightmares.
The cardiothoracic surgeons had worked relentlessly, and by some miracle they’d managed to control the haemorrhaging caused by the knife wound. And it had been a miracle. Even with fast surgical intervention, his chances had been slim. He was weak, but, God willing, he would recover physically. Mentally and emotionally, though, Alicia knew those wounds might be unlikely to heal.
He still looked deathly pale against the stark white of the sheets. Alicia studied his profile, a strong profile, which so often gave nothing away of the man inside. A good, dependable man, brought to his knees, by her. She desperately wanted to lie next to him, hold him, as he’d held her after the emergency surgery she’d had to deliver their baby boy. He’d been so gentle, so caring, both immediately after the birth and every day thereafter, until little Lucas had been stolen away. Until Paul Radley had walked back into her life and stolen Justin’s happiness away.
Squeezing his hand gently, she leaned to brush his cheek with a kiss. ‘I never stopped loving you, Justin,’ she whispered. ‘Never.’
Forcing her tears back, she prayed silently that God would find it within his mercy to bring his daughter back to him. Then almost shot out of her skin as Justin said, ‘Tell her I’m sorry.’
‘What?’ Getting unsteadily to her feet, Alicia searched his face.
‘Sophie, tell her, will you? I—’ Justin coughed and then squeezed her hand hard.
Alicia wasted no time, jabbing buttons and calling for help, and when it came, even while they were checking monitors and tubes, Justin didn’t let go of her hand.
Finally, his pain medication adjusted and as comfortable as he could be, he dozed. It was a fitful sleep. He would jolt painfully awake, perspiration beading his brow and confusion in his eyes. He spoke occasionally – incoherently, mostly. ‘Where’s Sophie?’ he’d asked several times. He’d asked where Luke was, too, which broke Alicia’s heart all over again, for Justin. The nurse had confirmed that the morphine was feeding his confusion, but still Alicia worried. Justin needed help. Whatever kind of counselling he needed, she would support him, if he would let her. Whatever he wanted, she wouldn’t fight him. She might not deserve to survive, but he did.
Alicia checked again. He was still sleeping. Knowing it might be the last time she would spend a night by his side, she brushed his damp hair from his forehead, pressed her lips lightly against it, and then settled back down to watch him. She wouldn’t go, even if he didn’t want her there, until he was out of danger.
Sixty
JUSTIN
Drifting in and out of sleep, Justin opened his eyes as he heard a tap on the door.
‘Only me,’ Jessica said, giving him a bright smile as she poked her head around it. ‘Bit of a drastic way to get out of our date, isn’t it, Justin?’
Easing himself up in the bed, Justin smiled.
‘I thought I’d bring you a few things.’ Jessica came on in, rattling a carrier bag and walking across to him. Or rather, clip-clopping across to him on heels that could definitely be described as vertiginous. She was a little overdressed, surely, for office or hospital visits. Noting the tight skirt and top, Justin made sure not to let his gaze linger.
‘Cheers.’ He smiled. ‘You really shouldn’t have bothered. I intend to be gone as soon as I can.’
‘Not too soon?’ Jessica looked at him, alarmed. ‘I mean, I know you’re a doctor, but you’re not infallible. You should be resting, Justin, building up your strength. You’re exhausted – emotionally traumatised, to say little of being severely physically injured.’ Her expression was almost tearful as she looked him worriedly over.
‘Honestly, I could just shake Alicia sometimes,’ she went on, with a despairing sigh. ‘She’s upset, too, of course she is. Devastated, poor soul,’ she added, her tone switching to sympathetic, which didn’t ring quite true any more in Justin’s mind. ‘But I do wonder why she couldn’t just have been honest with you from the outset.’
‘It is what it is,’ Justin said, watching her warily. ‘She wasn’t, for whatever reason. I suppose I’m just going to have to learn to deal with it.’
‘A mess is what it is,’ Jess said, delving into her bag and producing juice, fruit and tissues. ‘You two splitting up, poor Sophie missing, little Lucas… Not that I’m saying what happened to Lucas was Alicia’s fault. Just so you know, I’m here, Justin. If you need someone to talk to, any time, just call me.’
Justin nodded, glancing down at the hand she’d placed on his arm. ‘Have we?’ he asked, looking back at her. ‘Split up?’
Jessica looked taken aback.
‘Did Alicia say we’d split?’ Justin pushed it.
‘Well, not in so many words.’ Jessica busied herself with her bag, producing biscuits and a book.
‘What words?’ Justin asked. ‘What did she say exactly?’
‘I haven’t brought any grapes, you’ll be pleased to know,’ Jessica answered evasively.
Justin kept his attention on her. ‘Jessica?’
‘She didn’t say exactly.’ Jessica arranged the things she’d bought on top of the locker. Stuff he didn’t need, because there was no way he was staying. He’d haemorrhaged badly, but there was no major damage to vital organs. He would live. What he wanted to do was establish whether he had a life worth living. To find his daughter and get to the root of why he’d been lied to.
‘She mentioned the house.’ Jessica’s eyes flicked in his direction, after a pause, and then away again. ‘Something about needing to find somewhere to live. I—’