*
Mike at the Fish Shack had said that he’d hold the job for me until the end of March, and I was excited to start work the next weekend. I’d have to work hard that summer to make up the money I’d lost. Ryan was also trying to get some extra work lined up on the weekends, cutting firewood, cleaning people’s yards, painting fences, stuff like that. I only had to deal with crap for another three months, then I’d graduate, and hopefully by the end of the summer Ryan and I could get our own place. Mom had been a little easier on me since I was home more, even took me with her a few times to get some supplies for Dad. It had been fun, but I had a feeling she’d be on my ass again as soon as I started work.
For the last month, I’d been staying clear of Shauna. We cast glares in each other’s direction whenever our paths crossed, but generally we avoided each other. Her dad must have talked to her. Still, it seemed too good to be true, and I had the uneasy feeling she was just biding her time until I lowered my guard.
The Friday before I started my new job, I walked to the park across from school. I was going to cut through to the coffee shop on the other side, where Ryan would pick me up after he finished his shop project. I was making my way down a path, thinking how pretty it was in the park, when I noticed a movement out of my left eye, a flash of auburn hair. I paused. Someone was hiding behind a tree. Shauna? Then I remembered Ryan and me talking in the hall, the group of kids standing behind us, and Rachel hanging out with her boyfriend.
I glanced down the path behind me. Where were the other girls? I couldn’t see them, but Shauna wouldn’t face me alone—it wasn’t her style.
Shauna stepped out from behind the tree. We stared at each other. Her eyes were narrowed, her face full of hate—and glee.
I took a breath, dropped my packsack, and stepped forward.
“If we’re going to do this, let’s go.”
I saw her motion to someone, and the other girls came out from behind trees. They’d been waiting for me. Rachel was holding something, which she passed to Shauna, who stuffed it in her pocket. Sun glinted on metal for a second. A knife? Shit—that was a game-changer. I tried to think, but I was panicking now, my thoughts scattering in different directions. I had two options: try to fight my way out of it, or run like hell.
I clenched my fists, held them up in the fighter stance that Ryan had taught me, trying to remember some of the defense moves he’d also shown me.
Shauna started laughing. “You look like an angry little cat.”
The girls also laughed.
I said, “And you look like a chickenshit who needs backup because you can’t kick my ass on your own.”
Shauna’s smile dropped. “You bitch.” She reached into her pocket. I held my breath, braced my body. Showtime.
Voices, coming up the trail behind us. My body filled with relief.
Shauna took her hand out of her pocket. I turned around. It was an older man and his wife, walking a little white poodle. They gave us suspicious looks.
I said, “Oh, my God, I love poodles! Can I pet him?” They told me all about Jinx as I started walking beside them, asking questions about the dog while we moved farther down the path. When I turned around again, the girls had left. But I kept close to the couple until I was safely at the coffee shop.
When Ryan picked me up, I told him what had happened.
“Shit, Toni, I don’t like that at all.” He reached under his seat and pulled out a switchblade. As he handed it to me, he said, “Carry this with you—always.”
I wondered why he had a knife. He’d never shown it to me before.
“I could get in big trouble having this at school.”
“Don’t let anyone see it.”
Later that night I was in my room, playing with the knife, running my fingers across the blade. I imagined Shauna coming at me and slashed at the air, pretending to stab her over and over.
My door whipped open. “Toni—” Nicole stopped and stared.
“Close the door!”
She closed it. “What do you have that for?” Her eyes were big and scared.
“Protection, okay?”
She took a step into the room, lowered her voice. “From who?”
Before I could answer, there was a knock on the door.
“Dinner’s ready, girls.”
I called out, “We’ll be down in a second, Mom,” and stuffed the knife under my pillow. I hissed to Nicole, “Don’t you tell anyone.”
“But why do you have it?”
She’d only freak out if I told her about Shauna. Then my parents would get involved, and then Shauna’s dad. Plus, they’d take the knife away.
“It’s Ryan’s,” I said. “He gave it to me for when I work late—in case someone’s waiting in the parking lot or something one night.”
“I guess that makes sense.” She headed to the door, then turned back. “Just be careful, okay?”
That’s why I had the knife.