She had also confided to Rachel that she had decided to stay in Treepoint and finish her classes on the internet. Lily was enjoying feeling more comfortable in the world, and she didn’t want to go back to the insecurities of college life.
She couldn’t admit that she would miss everyone too badly if she left, though. She had become used to spending her Saturdays with Rachel, and she liked spending her days at the factory. Georgia was the only fly in the ointment. Her hostility had increased as she witnessed the strengthening friendship between Lily and Shade.
Lily’s mind shied away from the mere mention of an actual relationship with Shade, but their friendship had certainly developed. He had spent the last few weekends with her at her house when Beth and Razer had been at the club.
She was so happy that Lily felt as if the weight of her fears was slowly dissolving.
Her favorite music came on the sound system while she was finishing warming up when Shade came downstairs.
“Sorry, there was something I needed to take care of.”
“No problem,” Lily said, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet. “What are we going to work on today? Do you want me to try to knee you again?” Her eager face was lit up with excitement.
“You seem anxious to take my dick out of commission.”
Lily laughed, her eyes twinkling. Usually this was a side of herself that only Beth saw, but Shade had proven his gentlemanly behavior over time, and she now felt comfortable enough to be herself around him.
“We’re going to work on something different today,” he said, moving her closer to the wall at the end of the mat. “I want you to try to get out of a specific type of hold. For instance, if you’re getting into your car and someone comes up behind you.”
Lily nodded.
“You ready?”
“Yes.”
“Turn around.”
Lily innocently turned around, clueless as to what he was about to do. As Shade moved closer to her, pressing his body against her back, Lily’s hand automatically went to the wall to keep herself from being pressed against it, leaving her helpless. She began to panic but managed to calm herself down.
One of her arms left the wall on instinct, going back to try to push him away, and his hand caught her wrist, holding it captured against her lower back. Her other hand automatically went back and it was captured also, leaving her defenseless, pressed flat against the wall.
His lower body was flush against her butt, making her feel surrounded. Her breathing escalated and her mind started to shut down. She went limp, about to pass out. Shade stepped back, and helplessly, she started to slide down the wall.
Shade took her arm, leading her to the corner, and left her there to stand alone. She stood, gasping for breath, her hands going to her head, fighting the darkness descending on her terror-filled senses.
“Hands to your side. Stand up straight. Lily, by now you should know how I want you to stand.” Shade’s hard voice had her correcting her posture, her shoulders straightening as her hands obediently went to her side. Regulating her breathing, she focused on Shade as he took a drink of his bottled water before he went to the weights and began working out, ignoring her.
Lily wanted to be angry at him for ruining her good mood. She resented him throwing her into a panic attack.
“Lose the attitude, Lily, or my hand is going to be on that bouncy butt.”
Lily was shocked that he’d threatened her with physical violence. She had never expected him to lay a hand on her in a personal way.
Shade was sitting on the weight bench with his arm frozen in position at her look of shocked horror. “I didn’t say I would beat you, Lily. But I will smack that ass if you don’t behave.” His blue gaze stared into hers.
Lily gasped, turning her eyes toward the wall.
“Eyes forward,” Shade said, continuing his arm curls.
Lily’s eyes snapped forward as she attempted to pacify her tumultuous emotions. The shock of him saying that he would smack her butt had her forgetting the feeling of being held against the wall. As she calmed, she was able to start looking at the situation objectively. It took a long time for Lily to work through how dangerous that hold was and why she needed to learn to get out of it. She even realized where she had screwed up.
“I shouldn’t have reached back,” she said out loud.
“No,” Shade answered.
Lily took a step forward.
“Are you ready to go back to the mat?”
“Yes,” Lily said determinedly, leaving the corner.
“Turn around.”
Lily took a deep breath then, meeting his gaze briefly, she turned around. This time, when Shade grabbed her, pushing her against the wall, she braced herself with her arms.
“What do I do next?” Lily’s voice trembled at feeling his body pressed against her own. She felt the panic attack coming; however, she forced herself to listen to his directions. She did exactly as he told her, and while her movements were too timid to work, she knew that if they practiced she could break his hold.
Shade released her. “Enough?”