Unconsciously, Lily’s hand went to the skin over her heart, rubbing the flesh.
“Your husband is one of the men who gives sexual votes to women who enter the club?” Lily couldn’t hide her disbelief that Beth would let Razer have sex with other women.
“He doesn’t vote anymore. He hasn’t since we broke up three years ago.”
“That’s why you broke up?”
“No, we broke up because I thought he had cheated on me with Bliss. He hadn’t.”
“I see. Do Sex Piston and her crew know about The Last Riders?”
“Yes.”
“So, everyone you're close to knew, except me,” Lily stated. “Me, you didn’t tell.”
“No. I didn’t know if you would be able to handle the life I have with Razer. I didn’t want you to think less of me,” Beth confessed.
“Instead, you just shut me out.” Lily gave her sister a sad smile. “I would never have judged you on your sex life, Beth. Because I have hang-ups doesn’t make me believe others should. What hurt me was the deception. You lied to conceal what was going on.” Lily felt tears slide down her cheeks. No, the details didn’t matter, but the lies definitely did. “I’ve never lied to you, ever, and I didn’t think you had to me, either. I’m hurt, but I’ll get over it probably in a few days. You know I never could stay mad for long.” Lily looked at her sister’s pained expression. She didn’t know what else to say, though. It was like her feelings toward Beth were encased in ice. She couldn’t mend her sister’s broken heart when her own was broken.
“All right. Will you at least quit ignoring my texts and calls?”
“Yes.” Lily got to her feet, picking up her backpack.
“Do you want to go get a bite to eat before you go inside?” Beth’s hopeful expression didn’t sway Lily. She didn’t want to be near Shade ever again.
“No, thanks.”
“How about I drive down this weekend and bring your suitcases here? You have to need clothes.”
“I already bought some new ones. You can box up what’s in my room and give them to the church. I have a test on Monday, so this weekend isn’t a good time. I’ll see you for Thanksgiving.”
Without another word, Lily went inside the building, not letting her gaze return to the parking lot. She wanted to run back into her sister’s arms, but she knew she couldn’t. She didn’t trust her anymore.
*
Beth watched her sister walk through the doors before she couldn’t hold it back any longer. She buried her face in her hands, heartbroken at the devastation she had caused with her secrecy. Lily was never going to forgive her. She had broken Lily’s faith in her. She could see it in her delicate, pale face.
Lily looked like the wind would blow her away; she looked so fragile.
“Beth, please don’t cry, kitten.” Razer sat down next to her, pulling her into his arms.
“I’ve lost her, Razer. I can see it in her eyes. She’s so hurt. It’s like looking into an open wound.”
“She’ll get over it.”
“No, Razer, she won’t. She thinks I’ve lied and deceived her, and she’s right. I should have told her at least parts of it; she could have taken that. What she can’t accept is the one person she trusted hiding things from her.”
“Did she tell you not to talk to her anymore?”
“No, but she told me to give her clothes away. She’s cutting herself off from me.”
“Then don’t let her,” Shade’s voice came from over Razer’s shoulder. Beth looked back at him.
“She knows everything now, Shade. She knows that Razer and you both are original members. How the women get the votes.”
“She was bound to find out sooner or later. When you, Winter and Diamond found out, was it any less painful? But each of you got over it and moved on. Lily will, too.”
“No, she won’t, Shade. Lily is different. She’ll believe that Razer and you took advantage of the women.”
“That won’t last long when she’s around them,” Shade said ironically.
Beth got to her feet. “You just don’t get it, Shade. She’s cut not only me, but us all from her heart. That’s what Lily does. Lily doesn’t give second chances with her love.”
“No, Beth, it’s you who doesn’t understand. Lily’s not going to be given the choice.”
Chapter 11
Lily walked back to her dorm from her class the next day. Her mind had not been on the class but on Beth’s face. Lily knew the position Beth had been in must have been hard, yet the ice encasing her kept her from reaching out.