He pulls me over into his arms as I rest my head on his chest.
“I have no idea, I think in one of them, I couldn't find you anywhere and I was being inspected by a crowd of people, I was just panicking. Was I talking?” Shit; I wonder what that was all about?
“You were talking, shouting, crying. I woke you up when you started sounding really upset, are you sure there's nothing bothering you that you wanna tell me about?”
Bless him, he looks and sounds really worried. I sit up and run my hands through my hair and let out a loud breath.
“There’s plenty that's bothering me but nothing you don't know about”
“Are you sure? What you said last night, things like that really piss me off Lauren”
“What, what did I say?”
“Going on about me not introducing you to my family, that’s what all the nightmares are about, being inspected, really, that’s what you think it’s going to be like? For fucks sake, what do I have to say to get through to you, they can’t wait to meet you and they will love you as much as…..”
He trails off. What Gabe, love me as much as what? My husband of the past twenty odd years obviously didn’t love me, so why should your family? I look at him, probably blankly as I think about this. Perhaps I’m not worthy or deserving of love.
“They will love you as much as Ava does” He whispers as he kisses the top of my head and runs his nose through my hair, making me tingle.
“Stop worrying about it Lauren, you will be fine”
He climbs out of bed; he must have already been up as he's wearing trackies and a hoodie.
“What time were you up?”
“About six, I took Ava to the back beach to surf”
“Ava surfs?”
“Yes Ava surfs, why wouldn’t she? Did you never learn to surf, were you never a Grommet?” He has climbed back into bed and I have curled back around him. He hates it too, like me, he hates when we break contact. If we are in the same room, we have to be touching I have noticed this the past week. It’s like a gravitational pull and as I realise he is affected the same way I am, I feel’ elation, excitement and all warm and fuzzy.
“No, I never learnt to surf and no I was never a Grommet, there really wasn’t a lot of call for surf lessons in Essex. The Thames isn’t really famous for its Barrels or Kegs, more for its Floaters and not the surfing kind, more the condom, turd and shopping trolley kind”
He smiles and shakes his head at me. “That’s gross”
“That’s The Thames, that’s all we had, don’t harsh my mellow man, we made the best of what we had, they were happy days, dude, you really haven’t lived until you have spent a day on Southend Pier and been in the haunted house or on the Helter Skelter”
“I don’t doubt it Lauren. You’re a lucky girl, you’ve experienced life on the Thames and on The Bay”
I suddenly feel shy and silly. He called me a girl.
“I am lucky, although it’s been a while since anybody called me a girl”
He squeezes me tight and kisses my hair.
“Well, you’re my girl, fuck anybody else; I'll go make you a coffee”
I smile up at him, a stupid girly smile, an, I worship you sort of smile, an I am actually going to burst with happiness smile.
“Thanks babe”
I curl up and squeeze myself into a tight ball, as I attempt to wipe the smile off my face and stop the gazillion butterflies that feel like they are flapping, whilst on a spin cycle in my belly.
I can hear the girls chatter coming from the family room. They sound so lively at such an early hour. I pull my knees up to my chin. As elated as I am feeling I think I'm going to need a couple of pain killers with my coffee to help me out of bed today, I need to be feeling tip top when I meet the outlaws later. I call out to Gabe to bring me in some Panadol. The shouting does my head no favors what so ever.
~
By 11.30, the girls are packed and their bags are in the boot of the car, along with our overnight bags. We are all showered and dressed, me in my fifth outfit of the day. As I come out of the walk through wardrobe Ava is laying on our bed.
“Thanks for this week Lauren, we've had an awesome time and I love my bedroom”