“Look mum as long as he's looking after you and your happy, then I'm happy for you, fuck everyone else”
“Ha, you sound just like him”
I won't mention that's probably because he's only ten years older than him, that's for another phone call!
“Yeah? Well he must be a pretty good bloke then”
“He is”
“Then that’s good enough for me mum. You deserve to be happy”
My tears are instant. We did something right, Jay and I. We raised this boy to become the beautiful man that he is. I muffle my sobs as we continue our conversation.
We chat some more about Jess and her work and then he floors me by saying “I’m really sorry mum, I really didn’t know dad was treating you so badly, I never would never have left if I had known”
“Don’t be ridiculous Sonny, it was my choice to stay with him, mine and mine alone, you have nothing to feel guilty about, nothing at all”
I hate that he’s thinking like this, there is no guilt on my children’s part for any of this.
“I should have known mum, I did know a bit but I never thought he would hurt you, you always seemed to give as good as you got, I wish you had told us”
“Oh Sonn, please don’t feel bad, please, it was my choice to stay with him, I thought he would mellow with age but when you and Ryder moved out, he just seemed to get worse but it doesn’t matter now, I’ve left all of that behind me and I’m with someone who treats me well and would never lay a hand on me”
“Good, I’m glad you’re happy, I really am”
I’m going to be a snotty mess if I don’t get off the phone soon.
“I have to go Sonn; we are going out to dinner. I love you lots bubby”
“Like jelly tots Mum, have a good night, speak soon”
Well telling him about Gabe was easier than I thought; something tells me Ryder will be much less accommodating though. Before I get chance to call him, I notice Gabe leaning in the door way.
Did he listen to my call, did I say anything stupid? Don't think so.
“You okay?”
“I'm good, what did Ava want?”
“Ahhh just wanted to know where we were going and did they have to dress up for dinner”
He comes and sits on the bed beside me, takes my hand and kisses it.
“I meant what I said earlier Lauren”
“Oh, that's okay, I think what we just did in the office is thanks enough”
He shakes his head.
“I don't mean about thanking you, although I do, immensely. I mean you are, by far the sexiest thing I've ever seen”
I look down into my lap. Why does he say these things, I know I'm not sexy. He lifts my chin with his finger so that I look at him.
“What you did just now, in the office, the way you looked, what you wore. It was fucking mind blowing Lauren and the sexiest thing a woman has ever done for me, we really will have to think up some more little scenes like that”
He kisses me and we lay back on the bed, side by side just looking at each other. He traces my lips with the tips of his fingers.
“Dad what was...? Oops! Sorrrrryyyyy” Ava walks in, turns, and walks out again. Gabe sighs and says “Ava, come here, what do you want?” she swings around and comes back in.
“Awwwww you two are soooo cute” she pinches Gabe’s cheek as she says it.
“Look at my Daddy, all loved up and happy” I can't help but laugh. She kisses his cheek.
“I like you like this Dad, even your eyes are smiling, don't ever leave him and make him sad again, will you Lauren”
I'm not sure if my heart is breaking or bursting?
“Ava. What exactly was it you wanted?”
“Oh, yeah, just wanted to know the name of the restaurant we're going to, I wanted to Google the menu”
“Harba”
“Thaaaanks, you two better stop getting naked and start getting ready” she says as she sweeps out of the room. “And you really should think about getting a lock on this bedroom door”
We are both still lying on the bed, I lean over and pinch his cheek, and we both laugh. Why have I spent all day worrying about meeting this child? She's as gorgeous and out there as her dad.