I’ve been talking to Carrie on the phone every evening now for two weeks. Two weeks and I’m going insane. I’m doing my best not to rush her, but damn it all to Hell, something has to give. Listening to her sweet voice is driving me insane. I need to touch her, I need to hold her. I need to be with her. I haven’t held her, been inside of her or kissed her in over a month and a half. I can’t keep going like this.
So today starts operation, ‘Win Back My Woman’.
I decide to start small. I send her George. A giant teddy bear I bought the day of my first therapy meeting.
I have been online checking the tracking numbers all day. She got the present an hour ago. She hasn’t called. I’m disappointed, but there’s not much more I can do. It takes all I got, but I don’t call her that night.
Day two, I send her flowers. Daisies. The type that were on her dress the last time I saw her. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt when she doesn’t call.
Day three, I text her saying I miss her and attach a picture. It is of the crib I purchased and spent all night putting together. No word.
Day four, I’m about to give up hope. One small word from her, that’s all I need. Well okay, that’s not all. It would be a damn good start though. Today I send her a picture of the hummingbird feeder she hung up outside. There are two hummingbirds around it and I thought she’d like to see it. I also send her another text.
I miss you. Please call me.
I stare at my phone for an hour, for nothing.
Day five, I send her chocolate covered strawberries. They are her favorites.
I hear nothing. I’ve hurt her too bad. I’ve lost her.
Day six, I’m not even bothering to get out of bed. I’m depressed, I’m horny as hell and I just don’t see the point anymore. I’d rather stay in bed, stroke my cock and think about Carrie, than get up and miss her.
Life is just too empty without her. I’m missing everything from her smile, her laugh, to the way she lights up my world. I miss her voice, how she says my name. I miss her body—especially her body.
Fuck, if I close my eyes, I can picture her straddling me. Her creamy, milk white skin with a faint dusting of freckles. Her breasts filling my hands, her nipples large and glistening because I’ve sucked on them. I moan out loud picturing her.
My hand moves down to stroke my cock. I squeeze it tight, as I imagine slipping inside my woman’s wet, tight pussy. Her body rocks up and down on my cock. Her nails dig into my abdomen. Her head is thrown back in pleasure, all the while riding me harder and harder.
I can almost hear her voice, begging me to make her come. I stroke myself faster, pre-cum bathes the head of my cock and drizzles slowly downward. My balls tighten, and just as I get ready to blow I can hear her voice.
I love you, Jacob. I love you.
I explode. My cum shoots on my chest, my stomach and my hand, as I call out her name. After the initial rush, I look at myself disgusted. It doesn’t satisfy me. If anything I feel emptier and even more alone.
I drag my ass up, towel off, grab a beer and lay back down. I might be doing better with some things, but right now I hate myself for running off the one great thing I’ve ever had in my life.
I haven’t been drunk lately—not since Dragon kicked my ass. I’m thinking today might be a good day to get shitfaced. It’s going to take something a hell of a lot more powerful than beer though. There’s nothing in the house and I don’t have the energy to go out.
I’m probably just a bigger fucking fool at this point, but after my third fucking beer I give up and text her.
I need you, Care Bear. Give me another chance.
Another beer later, I close my phone. I’m almost back to sleep. I used to dread going to sleep because of dreams. Now, I willingly surrender, hoping to dream of being with Carrie. I need to see her so bad, even if sleep just brings one glance at my woman, it is worth it. I’m almost asleep, when the phone rings.
“Yeah.”
“Hi, Jacob.”
“Care Bear. God sweetheart, I’ve missed you.”
“I…I miss you too.”
“Are you doing okay? Did you get the stuff I sent you? Are you getting plenty of rest?”
“Yeah…”
We’re both silent. Shit. It feels like she’s so far away from me and I’m not talking just physically. Is this what I’ve done?
“Are you still going to therapy?” She asks, and I close my eyes.
“Yeah, twice a week.”
“That’s good, Jacob. I’m proud of you.”
“How’s the baby?”
“You do realize I’m barely past two months pregnant right?” She questions, but I hear laughter.
“Your point? I ask.
She doesn’t answer, but she laughs harder. It is a beautiful sound.
“How is our little angel, Care Bear?”
“It’s a boy.”
“You know? You had one of those sonograms done?” I ask, disappointed because Dragon and Nicole have and I wanted to be there for our baby’s.