“It’s not steep, there’s a gradual climbing footpath to the top.”
I could see the sandy path curling around the green hill. At least I wouldn’t discover new muscles with this one. We walked slowly, hand in hand, looking out at everything getting that little bit smaller the higher we got. The hill was probably only four or five stories tall but it gave a great view of the cliffs and sea in the distance. Everything was pretty flat where I lived so I loved visiting Lucas.
We reached the top and I gasped. He had a small picnic basket sitting on a blue blanket and little silver lanterns lined the edge of the material. “Luke, this is amazing,” I whispered. “When did you do this? How has it not been stolen?”
He laughed. “I texted Grace when we were on our way. My idea but my sister’s hard work.”
Wow, I didn’t think Grace liked me enough to help Luke do something like that.
“If we don’t see her before I go home thank her for me,” I said, giving him a kiss.
“I’m glad you like it and I will. Come on, I’m starving.”
Of course.
He kissed the top of my head and tugged me to the picnic. “You hungry, too?”
I wasn’t really but there was no way I wasn’t stuffing my face since he went through all the effort of organising this for us.
“Yes, feed me,” I said, sitting down between his legs and opening the hamper.
He had chicken salad sandwiches, cocktail sausages, salt and vinegar crisps, a huge bar of Cadburys chocolate, marshmallows, jellybeans, and Oreos. Not exactly healthy but it was all some of my favourites.
“You’re the best, Luke.”
“Remember that for later.”
I rolled my eyes and tucked into a sandwich. Like I wouldn’t want sex with him.
“So, how badly are Grace and Jake teasing you for being romantic?”
“Grace not at all. My brother and dad however…”
“Didn’t you say your dad proposed to your mum in rose petals?” He’d briefly told me that when we were first talking and trying the friends only thing.
“Yeah, but he’s a fucking hypocrite.”
I laughed and leant back against his chest. “How is your dad?” I knew that although he was doing okay he was finding it hard to relax and that was understandable, his body could reject my dad’s heart at any moment.
“He’s alright. His blood pressure is slightly high because of the medication he’s on but the doctor is monitoring it.”
I wasn’t sure what upset me the most, that my dad didn’t have his heart anymore or that it could fail, be cut out and thrown away like trash.
I wasn’t sure what to say so I just said, “I hope it settles down soon.” I honestly did hope that his blood pressure improved because I wanted him to live a long life just like Dad should have.
We ate until we were feeling ill and talked for well over two hours. I felt lighter than I had in a long time but I also couldn’t kid myself that it wasn’t because I still had so many things safely locked away. I wasn’t sure if I was getting better at dealing with everything or getting better at ignoring it.
“Tegan…”
“Go on,” I said, looking up over my shoulder.
“You’ll call me if you ever need anything, won’t you? I don’t care where I am or what I’m doing, you’re more important to me than work.”
Okay, that was sweet and totally unexpected. “Yeah, of course.” He pressed his lips to the top of my head.
“Good. Now, can I talk to you about something without you getting mad at me?”
I guess we’ll find out in a minute. “Yeah.”
I felt his chest expand as he took a deep breath. “When you were drunk, why did you ask for Kai?”
I turned on my side to face him. His eyes were tense. “I didn’t really think about it, but Kai knows what to do when I’m like that. He always has, so I always ask for him. I don’t want to. I hate that I do it and that I ruin his night all the time. I want to not be like this, Luke, but I don’t know how to.”
“Kai’s mum helped?”
I nodded and he smiled.
“Well, I’m proud of you for getting help.” I didn’t, not really. It was kind of thrust upon me, not that I wasn’t grateful or didn’t understand that I needed something. “Next time you feel like drinking maybe you should call me instead, though?”
“Yeah.” I agreed even though I wasn’t sure if I could. When I was out of it I didn’t consciously decide who I wanted. I just called the person I knew could help the most. He opened his mouth to say something else but quickly closed it again. “What?”
“Nothing.” He bent his head and kissed me.
“Tell me. Please.”