I drank some more.
After the third cold look from Lucas to Kai I was ready to leave. I was friends with both of them so there shouldn’t be any hostility. Lucas bloody agreed when we spoke by text that we’d give friendship a try, despite the unusual circumstances. I was not getting involved in any cheesy love triangle.
Grace and Ava came back into the room for more wine and stopped beside me and Kai. “So how do you two know each other?” Grace asked, pointing to Kai. What the hell did I say to that? I met and fucked him in a bar.
“We met at a party”
She nodded and turned her attention to Lucas, making me look at him, too. He was staring at his empty glass, his jaw clenched tight. Seriously, jealousy? Don’t do this to me, Luke.
Kai muttered something about going to the bathroom and left. I wasn’t sure if he wanted a couple minutes away from the hostility but something told me he wouldn’t really give a fuck about that.
“Tegan, how old is Kai?” Mum asked. Christ, they were popping up everywhere now. Actually, that was a good question. My guess was eighteen or nineteen.
“I don’t know exactly.” I admitted.
“You don’t know?” She spoke slowly, too slowly.
“No, I don’t.”
“He’s clearly a lot older, Tegan, why are you hanging round with him?”
“We’re friends, and I know he’s older.” I just wasn’t sure by how much.
Kai came back into the room and I gave him a look that screamed run but he didn’t. Yep, he really didn’t give a crap what anyone thought.
“Kai, could I ask you a question, please?” Mum said.
“Mum,” I hissed. Oh God, what the hell was she doing?
“It’s fine, Tegan,” Kai said. “You can ask me anything, Mrs Pennells.”
Mum nodded once, seemingly pleased that he was cooperating. “How old are you?”
“I’m twenty-one,” he replied. I watched Mum’s face harden – she was not happy. I didn’t think he was that old, but I really didn’t care, he made me forget and it was only four years. According to English law I was legal so no one else could say a fucking thing.
Kai had also become a friend.
“Twenty-one. My daughter is seventeen!”
Kai’s eyes flicked to me for a second. Well, damn, he’d guessed my age wrong, too.
“Mum!” I snapped. Why can’t she just stay out of my goddamn life?
“No, Tegan. What on earth are you doing?”
What was I doing? What I had to. No one can hurt the bitch.
People had stopped talking to watch. “You need to stop all this right now. No more going out. No more getting drunk with older men. It stops. You have to deal with his properly. You’re going to see a counsellor.” Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. The air thickened. I found it harder to breathe.
“I’m gonna go,” Kai said, looking at me apologetically. I heard Lucas mumble ’good’ under his breath, which made me roll my eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Kai,” I said.
“It’s fine, I’ll call you later.” I nodded and he turned and walked out.
Mum turned back to me, tears in her eyes. “I’ll make an appointment with a counsellor on Monday.”
“I’m not crazy.”
“No one thinks you are, Tegan, but you need some help.”
I shook my head. I didn’t need help. I just needed to forget.
“Leave. Me. Alone.” I emphasised each word and stormed off upstairs to my room, slamming the door hard behind me. Gripping my hair, I tried to focus. Don’t cry. Shove it away. I sank deeper, desperately trying to push away any feelings. I wanted empty.
Dropping to the bed, I squeezed my eyes closed and concentrated on taking deep breaths. Finally, I started to regain control. Push it all away.
Chapter Fifteen
Tegan
I laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to figure out what to do next. I did not need to see a counsellor. Even if she made me go I didn’t have to talk, this was going to be a huge waste of her money.
Someone knocked on my door. “Go away,” I said.
“Can I come in?” Lucas asked through the door.
“I said go away!” The door opened and in he walked anyway. “I said–”
“Yeah, I heard, Tegan.”
I sighed sharply. “What do you want?”
“To make sure you’re okay.” Why the hell was he so damn nice to me all the time? It was making everything ten times harder.
“Want to sit?” I sat up, making space for him. Smiling, he flopped down onto the bed, making me bounce.
“Child.” I joked and he poked his tongue out. “I refer you to my earlier statement.” He smiled, making my anger melt. “Was my mum really pissed when I walked off?”
He nodded. “She’s upset. She’s just being a mum. Kai is older; you can’t blame her for being protective. She doesn’t know what to do to make everything better for you.” How could Lucas say that about Kai being older when he wasn’t far off twenty?