All the fight left me at the sight of her and the sound of defeat in her voice. Fuck, I’d been a bastard to her, and needed to make this right between us. “I’m not here to fight. I need to apologise.”
Defeat gave way to surprise and she stood back, and held the door open for me. I stepped inside and walked down her hallway into her kitchen. I’d been to Velvet’s house a couple of times and was always struck by how similar her taste was to mine. We both liked the minimalist look and white walls. She had some colour splashed throughout but it was fairly simple and I liked that too.
I hit the kitchen and spun around to face her. She was watching me warily and I couldn’t blame her. “I’m sorry for how I treated you tonight. That shit I said about being your boss was a load of crap so just forget I said it, okay?”
“And?”
“And I shouldn’t have said anything about the guys not touching you. That’s totally your call.” I didn’t want them touching her, but I was sorry that I’d had a shot at her about it.
“And?”
Christ, she knew how to push me. And she was pushing me into unsafe territory. Who knew where this would end up now. I hesitated for a moment. “And I should have returned your message today.”
“Yes, you should have.”
I sensed her anger returning and felt the need to douse it before it ignited completely. “Velvet, I shouldn’t have slept with you last night when you were drunk. I took advantage and that wasn’t fair to you.”
The anger that I’d tried to douse, flared at my words. “Oh, for fuck’s sake! You didn’t take advantage; I wanted that as much as you did. So don’t try and get out of this mess by making some bullshit apology.”
Her anger fed mine. “It wasn’t a bullshit apology,” I snapped.
“Why didn’t you return my message?”
She asked the one question I didn’t want to answer, and my skin crawled with unease. “I was busy.”
She threw her hands up and wildly shook her head. “Now, that’s bullshit and you know it.”
“What are you trying to get me to say here, Velvet?” I thundered, “Because I sure as fuck don’t think we should be going down this path. Why can’t we just leave it where it is and move on?”
Her silence filled the room and she stared at me. “You’re right. We fucked and got it out of our system. Let’s just move on from that and not look back.”
I watched her closely; she wasn’t buying what she was saying, but I’d wanted the words she said, so I ran with them. “Good. Agreed.”
“Good,” she huffed.
Having sorted that, I had the overwhelming desire to escape the tension that was crowding us. “I’ll see you around,” I muttered, and headed in the direction of her front door. She didn’t say anything, but I didn’t want her to. I just needed to get the fuck out of here before either of us said something that would send the walls we’d built up crashing down around us.
***
Velvet
“He said what?” Roxie exclaimed, clearly flabbergasted.
I loved my hairdresser; not only did she look after my hair expertly, she was great to talk to. “He said he’d see me around, like we were hardly even friends.”
“How long ago was that?”
“Five days, and I haven’t seen him since.” I paused, and thought about it. “Actually that’s not completely true; I saw him last night at the club. He was there but he didn’t come and say hello.”
“Well maybe you should go and say hi the next time you see him there. Shove yourself in front of him, you know. What the fuck’s his problem anyway? It was just sex, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah, it was supposed to be just sex. I don’t know why he’s avoiding me now but it really hurts. I’ve seen him be nice to other women he sleeps with so I feel like shit that he’s cut our friendship again. And I could kick myself for going there with him because we had just gotten it back on track.”
Roxie assessed me in the way that only she did. She seemed to have a way of knowing what was going on in people’s heads, or at least she did with me. “You miss him, don’t you?”
The sadness I’d fought for the last couple of days hitched itself to my heart, and I nodded. “Yeah,” I whispered.
“What do you want from him?”
“I want him to step up and be my friend. Big deal, we slept together; let’s get over it and go back to being friends.”
She gave me that look that said ‘don’t bullshit me’. “You don’t really mean that, do you?”
My heart rate picked up with the apprehension that seized me. “I just want our friendship back.”
“Yeah, but you want more too, don’t you?”
“Nash doesn’t do more and neither do I.”
Roxie hit me with her trademark directness. “I think you want more from him, and I think you’re scared to admit it to yourself, let alone to him.”