Shit.
It had just been sex for goodness sake. I may have been drunk, but I vaguely remembered him hesitating to sleep with me, and I also remembered that I’d forced him into it. Well, to say I forced him might have been exaggerating a little; Nash never needed forcing into sex. But what the hell did it mean for our friendship now? If he wasn’t here, did it mean he was avoiding me? And why was I upset at the thought that he wasn’t here?
Shit.
I pushed the bedspread back, got out of bed and went in search of him. As I padded through the house, I smiled at the simplicity of his surroundings. I liked simplicity and little clutter too. He had the bare basics with only a tiny amount of decoration, and his walls were painted white. I loved the cleanliness of white. I also loved the few plants I saw scattered through his house. It all surprised me.
Nash wasn’t here. I looked through the whole house and didn’t find him. But I did find a note on the kitchen bench that told me to make myself at home and that he’d gone into work. My heart warmed a little at that but it was still heavy with the worry that he was dodging me.
Deciding that I actually wanted to get the hell out of here, I made my way back to the bedroom and got dressed. Christ, I hadn’t made the walk of shame in a long time having given up one night stands awhile ago. I called a cab and waited for them to take me away from the scene of what I hoped wouldn’t be the end of my friendship with Nash.
***
I stepped out of the shower. My body was clean but the regret still clung to my soul. Why had I been so dumb to sleep with Nash and think it wouldn’t affect our friendship. The friendship we’d just patched back together.
I’d texted him just after I left his house to let him know I was gone. That was an hour ago and I still hadn’t heard back from him. I didn’t expect much, but I at least expected a reply.
Sighing, I got dressed for work. I had to be there in a couple of hours, but first I was going for a coffee with my sister. She’d just broken up with her boyfriend of five years and was struggling to deal with it, so I was making the effort to be there for her. We hadn’t always been close but we were now after a lot of hard work on both our behalf’s, and I was dedicated to nurturing that relationship.
I checked my phone again as I left the house and shoved it back in my bag in disappointment when I saw there was still no message from Nash.
***
“What’s wrong with you?” Anna enquired after she took a sip of coffee.
My sister was very perceptive and even though I’d tried to mask my feelings, she’d picked up on them. “I slept with Nash last night.”
“Why the hell would you do that?” She knew that I’d fobbed him off for years because I wanted to maintain our friendship rather than risk it by having sex with him.
“I was drunk, horny and mad.”
Her forehead crinkled in confusion. “You slept with him because you were mad at him?”
Sighing, I explained, “No, I was mad at James for coming back into my life and screwing with me so I went out and got drunk, and then Nash turned up and I couldn’t resist him any longer.”
“Yeah, Mum told me that James was back. What a prick.”
“I’m so stupid for letting him get to me, but for some reason, I can’t help it. He starts talking and it’s like I’m right back there, you know?”
Concern was clear in her eyes. “Oh, honey, you should have called me.” She placed her hand on mine and squeezed it.
I smiled at her. “Yes, I should have, and I will in future because going out and getting trashed and sleeping with Nash was definitely not the best way to handle it.”
She grinned. “Was the sex hot, though?”
I blew out the breath I’d been holding in all day. “Hell, yes. It was the best damn sex I’ve ever had. I can only imagine how good it would be if I was sober. Nash has some talents, that’s for sure.”
“God, I knew he’d fuck like a champion,” she declared. “You only have to look at him to know he was made for sex.”
Remembering the pleasure he’d given me last night sent me into my own little world and Anna had to click her fingers in my face to get my attention back. “Sorry, did you say something?” I asked.
Shaking her head, she muttered, “You like him, don’t you?”
“I honestly don’t know.” My feelings towards Nash were a mess. I loved his friendship, but I couldn’t deny the sensations that just thinking about him gave me. Sex with him had been amazing; we’d connected physically in a way that not many people did. Well, I certainly hadn’t experienced that kind of instant connection with many men.