Providence (Providence #1)

Jared was already standing in front of the loft under the light of a street lamp, looking exhausted and confused. He tore his eyes away from mine for just a moment to look at Claire, who stood with her door open on the other side of the car.

“Is she okay?” he asked Claire.

Claire only offered a smug smile.

He looked back at me with concern. “Did Claire force you to come here?” he asked, wary.

I shook my head, afraid to speak. His wasn’t the reaction I expected.

“I don’t understand,” he said, his eyes darting back and forth between me and Claire. “What are you doing here? Did something happen?”

Claire smiled. “Don’t make her beg, Jared. Just take her back.” And with that she ducked into her car and pulled away.

Jared’s face darted back to mine. “W…What?”

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.

Jared stared at me, his light blue t-shirt transparent from the rain.

I realized that Claire had a point to what she’d said to her brother. “I’ll beg,” I nodded, taking a step toward him. “I don’t deserve forgiveness, I know, but I was hoping….” I sighed and shook my head. Nothing I could say would be enough.

“You came here to beg me back?” Jared asked, bewildered.

“Or humiliate myself by babbling incoherent nonsense in the rain….” I laughed nervously. Thunder rolled in the distance and I pulled my arms around me, chilled by wet clothes.

Jared took a few steps toward me and stopped. He watched me for a moment, though I wasn’t sure what he was searching for.

“This was a bad idea. I should have called.” I fidgeted, feeling more embarrassed by the second.

“You came here to apologize?” Jared asked again, taking a few more steps.

The humiliation boiled the blood under my cheeks. “I made a mistake. A huge, horrible mistake and I wouldn’t blame you if you hated me.”

He stared at me in disbelief and I shifted nervously, worrying that I had hurt him beyond forgiveness.

I took another step. “You were right. I was afraid they would hurt your family trying to get to me. But to save them, I hurt you. I don’t expect you to trust me again, but I am so, so sorry. I love you, Jared, and if I’ve learned anything over the past weeks, it’s that no matter what happens…I’ll love you the rest of my life.”

Jared watched me prattle on with an indiscernible expression on his face.

I bit my lip; the suspense of his answer was insufferable. “Please say something.”

Jared took a few more steps until he was only inches from me. The rain dripped off his chin and nose as he looked down at me. “I’m going to kiss you, now,” he said, cupping my cheeks in his hands as if he was holding his most precious possession. “And I don’t know if I’ll ever stop.”

He didn’t waste a second longer. He pressed his lips against mine, and I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck. My feet left the ground and the rain disappeared as Jared whisked me into the loft and up the stairs, his feet barely touching the steps.

In seconds his mattress was beneath me. Caution was nonexistent; Jared’s mouth begged mine to open as his lips worked impatiently against mine. My lips parted as my knees did, and Jared reached back to lift his shirt over his head.

His lips found their way to my waist, and his kisses ran up the midline of my stomach as he pushed my tank top up and over my head. His breathing grew uneven as he hovered above me, watching me slowly pull the straps of my bra from my shoulders. I arched my back to unsnap the clasps behind me and he tenderly kissed my lips as he pulled the straps from my arms and tossed the lacey fabric to the floor.

He clenched the hem of my skirt and panties, pulling them down until they were lost somewhere in the mangled sheets. I sighed as he pressed his bare chest against mine, kissing my neck while I reached down to pull his belt from the loops. Jared moaned as I ripped open the top button of his jeans and shoved them down over his hips. He used his feet to push them passed his ankles, and I heard them drop to the floor at the end of the bed.

Jared paused to look into my eyes for a long moment, and his fingers glided down my face and neck.

“I guess no one is going to interrupt tonight,” I said.

The corners of his mouth turned up and he slowly shook his head.

The grin faded to a serious, focused expression and he leaned down to kiss my lips. Jared took a deep breath in through his nose and his body tensed. I clinched my eyes shut, and involuntarily turned my head away, feeling pain and pleasure at the same time.

“Are you okay?” he whispered, breathless.

I nodded; we were finally close enough. My hands slid down his neck to his shoulders and I dug my fingers into his flesh at the intense pleasure searing through my body. A quiet groan escaped his lips as he tensed again.

His tongue tasted the inside of my mouth. My senses were overwhelmed to the point where I couldn’t think straight, so I couldn’t imagine what he must have felt. The hours passed as minutes, and the minutes as hours. I had no concept of time; I had no need for it. That moment was all I’d ever wanted, and I never wanted it to end.