Our Totally, Ridiculous, Made-up Christmas Relationship

Dad is the first to hold out his hand, “Hi, I’m Matt Stone, and this is my family. Yes, we are famous and yes, we have millions and millions of dollars. But, don’t let those small facts make you think we aren’t just your every day normal family. The only difference is that we poop gold.”


“And drink like fish.” Grandma chimes in, and I giggle watching Mom roll her eyes.

“Mom! Fish don’t drink! What a silly comment,” my mom hisses to Grandma.

“And how do you know that? How do you know fish don’t drink? Did you study fish at some damn point of your life? Do you have a degree in fish lifestyles?” Grandma hollers while pushing her way into the house. “Kayden, where’s the bar?”

“Straight back, to your left.” Kayden gestures into the house. Dad and Steve march off with Grandma, to each grab a drink, and cigar, of their own.

We all enter the house, and the feeling of pressure is still mocking me. Mom looks toward the kitchen, where Kayden’s mother Heather and his Aunt Sally are cooking. “I’m going to go introduce myself and set down this beautiful cake I made.”

“Mom.” I arch an eyebrow and watch as she rolls her eyes at me.

“Okay, the cake that my chef made. Really, Jules. Do you have to be such a freak about the details?”

Out of nowhere, two teenage boys come running through the living room, screaming about video games or something. Sally pokes her head out of the kitchen and hollers toward them. “Boys! I swear if you two wake up your baby brother I will make your lives a living hell! Video games! Upstairs! Now!” Sally runs her hands over her apron, and the smile on her face expands when she looks up to me. “Hey, Jules! Merry Christmas!” She’s quick to move over toward us and introduces herself to Lisa and Olivia.

“It’s nice to meet you, Sally. Whatever you ladies are cooking up in the kitchen smells heavenly.” Lisa grins and is the perfect amount of charming.

“Yeah, that’s no thanks to me. Heather only lets me cut the vegetables. So if you come across a huge chuck of celery in your stuffing—you’re welcome.” Sally winks, and bends down low to look at Olivia. “My daughter Hailey is in the back room watching all of her favorite Disney movies. Do you want to join her?”

Before I can blink, Olivia runs off to the back room.

“So, you’re the girl dating that Danny Everson guy?” Sally asks, and Lisa nods once in reply. “He always seemed like an ass to me.”

“He is,” Both Lisa and I say at the same time.

“Sorry,” I apologize for calling the father of her kid an asshole. But if the shoe fits…

“We broke up.” Lisa confesses in such a nonchalant manner, I almost wonder if she’s serious. “It turns out he found a new co-star to get to know.” She smiles, but I see the tears she’s trying to hold back. I don’t know what to say, because I know how she feels. Crushed. Moving to her, I pull her into a hug, mouthing an apology.

“Everything okay in here?” At the sound of a deep voice, Lisa and I separate in time to see Landon entering the room. Lisa stands tall and shoots Landon her killer ‘I think you’re hot’ smile. Landon smirks when he sees her looking his way. “Is Lisa Stone standing in front of me?”

She holds her hand out toward him, and he’s quick to kiss her palm. Well, if she’s going to hit on a Reece, I’m just happy it’s not Kayden.

“My gawd, Ms. Hollywood. You sure are fast to get over your ex-boyfriend. Come on, to the kitchen to help cook.” Sally wraps my sister’s arm around hers and pulls her away after Lisa flashes Landon one last grin.

“Maybe I can help?” Landon offers, chasing the two toward the kitchen.

It’s not long before we hear a screaming baby through the walkie-talkie sitting on the coffee table, and Sally steps in our direction to attend to her now four month-old baby boy.

“Don’t worry, Sally. We’ll check on him.” Kayden takes my hand and leads me to the back bedroom. Baby Cole is crying his eyes out, and I lift him from his crib, snuggling his body against mine.

“He’s so little,” I whisper, rocking him back and forth. Kayden grins without replying and slides his hands into his jeans pockets. Cringing from the sound of falling pots, I glance out the bedroom door. “It’s going well, right? I mean, Grandma’s drunk. Dad’s smoking a cigar with Steve already. That’s good, right?” I run my fingers through my hair, muttering my thoughts out loud. “Lisa and Mom could be pretty dangerous in the kitchen. Let’s just say they aren’t the best around that area. And…”

“You’re rambling. Everyone’s going to have a wonderful time. And if not, well…I hid a bottle of whiskey under the bathroom cupboard.” Kayden walks over to me and rubs his hands up and down my shoulders. I can’t help but relax when I feel his touch. Baby Cole is relaxing, too, falling back to sleep in my arms.

“Oh,” I shake my head back and forth, and lay Cole back into his crib. “I can’t drink.” Reaching into my back pocket, I pull out a pregnancy test and watch Kayden’s eyes widen in shock as he grabs the test from my hands.

“You were carrying a pee stick in your back pocket this whole time?” He questions, smiling at the positive sign on the stick.