“Secrets, secrets!” Olivia screams, jumping up and down. Watching Jules interact with the young girl makes me lust after her that much more. It’s nothing less than adorable.
“There is a BIG plate of chocolate chip cookies on the counter in the kitchen and NO ONE is in there right now.” Jules takes her finger and taps Olivia’s nose. “And I bet no one would even know if one or two were missing.”
Olivia dashes off, leaving Jules and me sitting in front of the fireplace. Jules relaxes onto the floor, smiling toward the running toddler. “There are a lot of things I regret with Danny and Lisa, but that little girl? She kind of makes it worthwhile.”
“How did your talk go with your dad?” I ask, hoping that it’s at least a start to better communication. Her cheeks turn red and she grabs the Barbie from my hand, leaving me with Ken.
“It was good. Dad actually passed my name on to someone in LA about auditioning for a movie next month.”
“Is that good?”
The way her smile grows and her dimples deepen, I know it’s good. “I should never have given up. I shouldn’t have given Danny and Lisa the power to stop me from chasing my dreams. Dad said you had a big part to play in this, too,” she says leaning in toward me, making the dolls kiss one another, “Thank you.” Her eyes shift to the ceiling and a beautiful sigh leaves her lips. “Oh no. That damn invisible mistletoe is back.”
I look up, shaking my head at the nothingness above our heads—which somehow stands for everything. I reach for her arms and pull her into my lap, leaving her no other choice than to wrap her legs around me.
“Merry Christmas, Kayden,” Jules whispers before pulling her lips to mine and kissing me gently. Her lips are softer than I remember, and I cherish the short time they spend against mine.
“I don’t want your money,” I say as she pulls an inch away from me. I can still taste her on my lips, and I can’t imagine losing that feeling after these few days. “I don’t want this to be fake anymore. After we leave here and go back to Chicago, I want to take you out. I want to get to know you, and I want to slowly fall for you, taking in every detail of our adventures together. What I don’t want is for you to fall for me right away. I want you to make me work for it, work for you because you need to be chased after, longed for, desired. I really want to date you, Jules Stone, so fucking badly.”
Her eyes move to the ground and she looks sad—sadder than I’ve ever seen her look. Something’s happening in her mind, and it’s hurting her. “I want to date you, Kayden. I’m just not ready yet.”
I nod, completely understanding. “Right, too soon.” I bite the corner of my mouth and narrow my eyes. “What about now?”
She laughs a true Jules laugh and I feel my heart grow in size. After we leave here, I’m going to take time to figure out who I am, what I want to be.
And then I’m going to take this girl dancing.
A few hours have passed, and we move on to the tree decorating festivities, and I can tell Jules is trying her best not to appear hurt about the Danny and Lisa situation, but I see right through her.
“I’m not jealous.” She peeks her head into the other room where Lisa, Danny, and Olivia are standing by their Christmas tree. Danny and Lisa are standing next to each other, looking at messages on a phone, and Olivia is getting tangled-up in tinsel. “I just sometimes think it could have been me. We could have been the happily ever after.”
“You’re overthinking things. Shake it off.” I kiss her forehead and go back to lacing the lights around the tree.
“But don’t you ever think about how things would be? If you and Penny were still…” Her words fade off and she squeezes her eyes shut. “It’s nothing like that. I’m stupid. I’m sorry.”
I don’t reply, because I do think about it all the time—what life would have been like if Penny were still here. But all I can think is it would’ve still been hard, a struggle, a lifetime of trying to fit together when we were never meant to be in the same puzzle.
When I see Jules standing on her tiptoes, reaching to hang up a decoration, I sigh, thinking of how it could be with us. I also think about all the moments that Jules hasn’t been the most important person in the room, how she has always been overlooked, and I want to give her that moment, to shine.