Our Totally, Ridiculous, Made-up Christmas Relationship

I was wrong again. I want to vomit for the next one hundred years.

“I’ve been playing the words over and over in my head, and I think I figured it out. So in this scene, I want you to be Jules, all right?” His eyes are locked with mine, which is fine because I have no desire to look anywhere else.

“Okay.”

He rubs his hands across his thighs and then reaches to hold my hands. Fuck my life. “Julie Anne Stone. You’re my everything and I realize I haven’t been there for you the way I should’ve. I’ve let you down when you needed me the most. There’s this weird thing that happens in life where people become so terrified of the outcome that they choose to not speak up on the matter. They don’t stand up for those who have been silenced. I should have stood up for you.

“I should have held you close, and even though I couldn’t have made things better for you, I should have let you know you were not alone. I can’t say I understand what your younger sister did, and I will never try to justify it. I can’t say I support her choices, but I can say I love you both equally, fully, and unconditionally.” Matt’s hand lands on my cheek, and I can’t help but be so spellbound by his speech, by his words, that I completely forget he’s naked. I forget that I’m Kayden. I forget everything but the words he’s speaking. He’s not only saying the words. He’s feeling them. Matt Stone is a fan-fucking-tastic actor.

Next, he moves my hands over his heart and continues his speech. “You’re my heart, and I just need you to start beating again.”

Fuck it, I’m crying. Yup, I’m crying, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Those were some beautiful words right there.

“What the hell is going on?!” The door swings open, and Matt and I turn toward it to find Jules standing there with the most extreme expression of ‘what the fuck’ plastered on her face. Quickly I yank my hands away from Matt’s chest and stand up.

“Oh my God. Jules, it’s not—”

Matt stands up and gestures toward Jules, who turns away. “Jesus, Dad! Put on your pants!” she screeches, covering her eyes. Moving over to her, I go to touch her and she jumps. She gives me a stern look and points her finger at me. “I get it. Dad rehearses naked. It’s a weird norm around here. But what I need you to do right now…what I really need you to do is to go wash your hands before you touch me.”

I chuckle because her cheeks are so high and so beautiful. “Okay, but you stay here. I think your dad needs to talk to you.”




As we sit on the living room floor in front of the roaring fire, Olivia shows me her favorite Barbie dolls and all of the accessories. When I say all, I mean all; there are at least fifty pieces of plastic clothing on the floor. Tossing some more pink clothes on the pinked-out doll, I start playing with her, walking her across the floor. “I’m Barbie, and I’m sooo pretty!”

Olivia giggles and tries to grab the doll, but I keep pulling it away from her, making her break out into a fit of giggles. She’s ridiculously adorable, and she reminds me of how much I miss Hailey and should make more time to hang out with my crazy little cousin.

“Give me that!” she shouts, placing her hands on her hips with extreme attitude, and I catch a glimpse of her mother in her. She arches an eyebrow, and I can’t help but laugh at her sassiness.

“I’m a Barbie and I’m awesome! I can’t wait to give Ken a big kiss!” Picking up the Ken doll, I make the dolls embrace and Olivia falls to the ground in an overreacting matter, grabbing her stomach and falling victim to an invisible tickle monster. “Muah! Muah!”

She snatches a Barbie from me and smiles. “This is alien Barbie. She looks like me!” She holds the doll up to her face and smiles.

My heart stops beating and all I want to do is wrap this little girl in my arms and tell her she’s wrong. “You’re not an alien, Olivia. But you are beautiful, just like the Barbie.”

She shakes her head back and forth. “Daddy says I look like an alien. I’m gonna be famous, he said.”

“Well, between you and me, your daddy is a fart-face-people-hating weirdo.” I start attacking her with tickles and she loses it into another giggling fit. “Besides, Ken loves you!” I scream, kissing her with the Ken doll.

“Oh my gosh. I was afraid this would happen. My family is driving you loony.” Jules laughs, walking over to Olivia and me. She lifts up her niece and becomes the tickle monster in the flesh. “Is he playing with your Barbies?! I thought only you and I played with these Barbies, kiddo?” She squeezes Olivia and covers her in kisses. When she stills her niece, their blue eyes meet. “You want to know a secret?”