Our Totally, Ridiculous, Made-up Christmas Relationship

“Kayden, no.” She keeps laughing, and I keep falling.

“Please?” I whisper, taking my hand and rubbing the back of her neck. Every time I touch her, it feels as if we have been touching for years. I don’t know how, and I don’t know why, but when I touch this girl, I feel at home.

“My name is Jules Stone and I’m motherfucking awesome!”

Pulling up toward the home, I see two Audi and one Mercedes in the driveway, and the first thing I think is, Why the hell is Jules driving that broken-down Honda? Before we have time to even put the car in park, the front door is opening and people are gathering on the porch.

“I’m fine, I’m fine…I’m…” she mutters, her words fading off, so I finish for her.

“Fine.” I smile and she smiles back. “We’re fine.”

She wiggles her nose once and goes to open her door but pauses. “Oh! A heads-up, I think we’re in love.” She freezes, cursing under her breath, and slaps her hand against her face. “I mean, you as in Richard. Richard and I are in love.”

“Right. I love you.” The words roll off my tongue and it scares me how much it doesn’t scare me. “Don’t open your door. Let me do it for you, ya know, since we are so deeply in love and stuff.”

She sits back in her seat and nods once. I jump out of the car and play the role of an awesome boyfriend by pulling open her door and helping her out of the car.

When she stands inches below me, I go in for the extra one-two punch and kiss her forehead. Wrapping her against my body I whisper one more time as we begin walking toward the awaiting party, “We’re fine.”

The way she snuggles into me makes me think that she actually believes me—which, in turn, secretly makes my night complete. The closer we get to the front of the cabin, the slower I begin to walk until my jaw drops to the ground and I stand frozen in place. Twisting my body toward Jules, I yank her to the side.

“Holy shit! Is that Lisa Stone?! And Danny Everson?! And holy shit—that’s Matt and Tina Stone! Holy fuck, you’re Jules Stone!” The realization sets in as I come to terms with the fact that Jules’ family is THE Stone family—one of Hollywood’s most celebrated families for their crazy amount of work on the big screen. And Danny Everson is known for his Oscars and insane films.

I shoot the words to Jules and watch her stumble back, saddened that she couldn’t keep the fact hidden. Then I watch her lips turn down. She’s disappointed by my realization. “Yes…Richard.” She scolds me with her tone, and I realize how fast I almost blew my cover.

“Right. I’m sorry. But geez…You didn’t think that was something you could have mentioned in the past five hours?!”

“It slipped my mind.” She moves toward her house, leaving me a bit stunned. It slipped her mind? I’m supposing to act through this weekend with Oscar-winning performers?

Yeah freakin’ right.

“Finally! Did you give him the wrong address or something, Julie Anne?” were the first words from her mother as she pulls her into a hug.

“No, it just so happens there’s a snow storm, Mom. No big deal.” Jules turns toward me and holds her hand out in my direction, which I take, because screw it, I’m a professional.

“Mom, Dad”—her eyes roll as she mumbles, not looking toward Danny or Lisa—”everyone else, this is Richard.”

I extend my hand and shake hands with Oscar winners. Jesus. My life just went to a pretty good place. “Nice to meet you all,” I say, and mean, more than any words I have ever spoken.

Jules’s dad, the Matt Stone, pats me on the back and pulls me toward the house. “You hungry, Rich? I can call you Rich, yes?”

“Sir, you can call me anything you want.” I smirk as I follow him inside. He could call me asswipe and I would be flattered. I listen to Jules talking to her mom—or well, getting scolded by her mom for not greeting her sister and Danny.

“Do you have to be so childish, Julie Anne?” Tina hisses, moving everyone into the living room.

“Sorry. Hi Lisa. Danny.” I watch Jules roll her eyes and can’t help but laugh at her stubbornness.

“Hey Jules,” Danny smiles and goes in for an awkward hug, and for some reason, the amount of time he holds on to her annoys me. “You lose weight?”

“Gained ten pounds,” Jules says, but I doubt it’s true. I couldn’t imagine her ten pounds lighter than she is now; she has perfect curves to her.

“Oh…it looks good on you.”

Awkward silence. I’m still looking at Jules’s curves, and I’m getting pissed because so is Danny. “Should we grab our luggage now?” I ask, changing the subject from the weird vibe happening. It’s nice to see another dysfunctional family. It brings me a bit of comfort.

“No, don’t worry about it. Danny and I will grab it after dinner for you. You’re our guest!” Matt pats me on the back again, and I can’t help but feel star-struck every time this guy talks my way.