Our Totally, Ridiculous, Made-up Christmas Relationship

The phone relentlessly rings again demanding an answer. Just as defiantly, Jules ignores it, again. “Brat. Brat…Brat!” I echo her way. Her middle finger flies up toward me but cute smirk on her face remains. I bite toward her finger, which isn’t giving me the kindest gesture in the world. “If you point that at me, I will bite it. Hard. Now answer the damn phone.”


She laughs at me, watching me snap my teeth toward her before a flat sigh leaves her body and she answers her cell phone. “Hi Mom.” Jules melts into the leather seat and nods as if her mother can see her actions. “I know, but there’s—” She pauses, listening to her mom, who is not giving her a chance to get a word in. “Yeah, but Mom!” Her childish whiney voice returns and I snicker. I can’t help but think that we have pretty different mothers.

“Of course he’s here! Where the heck would he be? Noo, I’m not lying.” Pause. Frown. Pause. Frown again. “Well I don’t really care what Lisa thinks. No, he’s not a Republican! My gosh, Mom!”

The phone rips away from her ear and she turns toward me. “Are you a Republican?”

“No.”

Her ear flies back to the phone and her intense look of displeasure returns. “Mom, if you think I’m going to ask him that, you’re ridiculous. Why not? Are you serious?! Because it’s totally inappropriate. I’m a grown woman who is completely capable of choosing my boyfriends, Mother! And I refuse to sit here and listen to you—” Her words come to a halt and the eye rolling hits an all-time high. She covers the phone with her hand and pushes it in my direction. “She wants to talk to you.”

I laugh and shake my head back and forth. “I’m driving.”

“Listen. I’m trying here, I really am. But if I have to sit and listen to how childish I am for not giving my boyfriend the phone when my mom asked to speak with him, I will promise to make the next five days of your life a living hell.” The phone pushes more into my arm and I really want to laugh at her, but she’s kind of scary right now. “Remember, you’re Richard.”

Grabbing the phone, I place it against my ear. “Hello?”

A woman’s warm velvet voice sweetly responds. “Oh! Hello, Richard! I’m Jules’s mother, Tina. I just wanted to say hi before meeting in a few hours. I’m sorry you both are running behind. I told Julie Anne to leave earlier, but you know how hardheaded she can be.”

I smirk, because I have a good idea about how stubborn Jules can be. I wonder where she picked up those traits? “Yeah, well, it’s my fault. I had to work a little later than planned. But we should be there sooner than later.”

“Perfect. So, we’ll make for a late dinner. Which is fine. I’ll see you both soon. All right? Oh! And Richard?” Without waiting for my acknowledgment, she immediately continues, “Jules has a history of picking guys who end up liking her for certain reasons. You sound different, though. I just hope you’re okay with who we are and don’t find it to be too much of a…shock. We’re down to earth like all the rest.”

Before I can respond to her weird comment, Tina hangs up and I hand the phone back to Jules. “What did she mean by ‘our family’s down to earth like the rest’? Who says that?” I see her body physically tighten up. Her blue eyes turn away from me and face the window, where she proceeds to give me the cold shoulder. It’s something she doesn’t want to talk about, and now I want to know even more, but I don’t push the matter. If she wanted me to know, she would have told me, right? Besides, all of her family’s secrets aren’t my business; I am only her boyfriend for the next few days anyway.




After a while, her hand finds mine again, and for the rest of the ride we’re quiet, just holding on to each other, traveling through the snow. As we round the corner to this gigantic cabin, I get a bit confused. “This isn’t a cabin, Jules! It’s a mansion made out of wood!” I feel Jules’s fingers tighten around mine from the idea of entering. She doesn’t respond to my comment because she seems too nervous to operate. “Hey, you’re fine.”

“I’m fine…” she mutters, holding on even tighter. “I’m fine.”

Her eyes start to tear up, and I see the crying girl from earlier creeping in. “Oh come on, Sunshine. Don’t give away your power to people who don’t deserve it. You may not be able to control the weather—or the family you’re born into—but you can control who you allow to hurt you, who you allow to affect you.”

“How do you change a lifetime or being the black sheep of the family who is always crying?”

“Well, for starters you find a moment when you would usually cry and you choose not to. You change direction and hold your head up high. And you say, ‘Fuck you, motherfuckers! I’m Jules Stone and I’m motherfucking awesome!’”

She laughs out loud, and I swear to God she snorts. She snorts, and I realize I’ve never seen something so damn adorable in my whole life. Sexdorable, even. Jules Stone is pretty damn sexdorable.

“Come on,” I challenge, nudging my hand against her knee. “Say it.”