“What’s wrong?” she asked, even before the word was fully out of my mouth. How could she know that something was wrong just by hearing one simple word leave my lips?
“How do you know something’s even wrong?” I flipped down the visor, pulling the mirror open to examine my eyes that were a lovely shade of red. I only let a few tears slip in front of Nick, but as soon as I shut my car door behind me, I couldn’t hold them in any longer.
I really wasn’t sure what had me crying. Was it what Nick told me? Or was it because of the decision I had to make?
“Ally, I just know, now spill.”
I sighed loudly, but she just replied with a huff, and soon I was retelling her the whole story. She already knew about the whole breakup with Nick, I had been talking to her at least once a day since everything happened. I think she was afraid I was going to finally crack or something, and really, I was surprised she hadn’t made a trip down here. Even though I didn’t need her to, I would’ve loved it anyway.
“You’re quiet,” I said, clutching the phone so tightly, I’m sure my knuckles were white. What Leah was about to say would be influential in my decision, though I knew I needed to make it solely on my own. Leah’s opinion probably mattered more than anyone else in my life.
“Well, Al, it is a little bit to take in. Obviously. So, Nick is a dad? Wow, that sounded really weird to say.”
“Um, no kidding. It’s really hard to hear, too.” I don’t think it had really sunk in. What he was doing, though, really made him an even better guy in my eyes. Not many men his age would be stepping up to play the role of both parents, but he was doing just that, and seemed to have the job down pretty well.
“I’m sure,” she muttered. “Ally, I know you want me to tell you what to do, but I’m not gonna.” I opened my mouth, but snapped it shut when she kept on talking. “Yes, Nick screwed up. Royally. He should’ve told you from the get go what was really going on, but the fact is, he didn’t. And no one can change that now. His life is changed forever by that little girl, and you need to figure out if there’s room for you in it, too. You also need to figure out if you can forgive him for everything.”
“And how do I do that?” I asked, rubbing my forehead that was currently throbbing, feeling weighted down from all the pressure.
“I have no freakin’ clue, Al.” My shoulders sagged at her answer, and I moved my hand to the door, guessing that I might as well go inside and think things over, or just go to sleep and forget everything for a while. That option sounded a whole lot better. “I think you just need to ask yourself, Ally, can you see your life without Nick in it? Will you be happy or will you miss him every day? Maybe you’ll find someone else, but will you be wishing it’s Nick the whole time?”
I licked my lips, chewing over Leah’s words. What she said made me think, made me think about my life without Nick. Yes, I had gotten by without him after the breakup, but there was still an empty void only he could fill. Was I going to let him fill that again, or would I be able to live with that empty feeling for the rest of my life?
I removed my hand from the door, shifting my car into reverse while holding my phone with the other. “Thanks, Leah. You really are the best friend a girl could ask for.”
“I know,” she answered quickly, and I could hear the smile in her voice. “So, I’m guessing you’re going back to Nick’s?”
That psychic ability of hers was honestly a little scary. “Do you have a freaking camera in my car or something?”
When I knocked on Nick’s door not even an hour after leaving, he answered looking defeated. I hated that I had left him looking that way, but I needed time to think. Even if it was probably the shortest time in history needed to think something over.
“Back so soon?” he asked, raising his eyebrows, lips curving slightly up, though he didn’t quite let them form a smile. I’m sure he was wondering why I came back here so quickly. Maybe to tell him that we were completely done? I think if I had come to that decision, I wouldn’t have had the nerve to face him. However, since that wasn’t the case, I was glad I would be the one to make him smile again.
Chapter 28
Nick
After Ally left, I felt empty again. I felt like after she went out that door, I was never going to see her again. I walked into Ariel’s room, looking at her perfect little face as she slept peacefully, and that made me smile slightly. At least I had her. That’s all I really needed, I kept trying to convince myself over and over again.