“Hi, baby,” I whispered. “Let’s go to bed.”
“Mmm. Let’s stay here for a bit,” he said as he pulled me to straddle him.
He lifted my shirt over my head, and with complete ease unclasped my bra and tossed it aside. His mouth was at my breast in an instant. He kissed me gently and took care to hold me close to him, with one hand bracing the back of my neck. I moaned and let my head fall back, giving myself to him as his mouth moved achingly slowly up my body. He kissed and sucked and tugged at my earlobe and then sat back and took a deep breath. I unbuckled his jeans and lifted myself up enough for him to shimmy out of them. I could tell he was being cautious. I reached for the waistband of my black lace panties but he stopped my hands.
“Oh, come on!”
He laughed and shook his head. “No. These are nice. I just think we should leave them on,” he said as his fingers stroked me through the fabric. “Mmm, warm.”
“I’m wet! Now fucking kiss me.” I was practically writhing on top of him when his lips crushed against mine again. Our mouths were glued together, tongues twisting and caressing. His hands continued roaming, but I could feel him harder and harder against me as I moved. He finally pushed the fabric aside and slid his fingers in. I pressed myself deeper against his hand.
“Don’t stop, Jamie. I want you, please.”
“You are so sexy.” He removed his hand, and without caution, entered me, slamming my hips down until I was filled completely with him.
I cried out, arching my back, letting the feeling of him inside of me take over. It had been a while, and the lace fabric between us, although pushed aside, created the perfect amount of friction. We moved seamlessly together. He countered each one of my motions with perfect ease and resistance. I moved harder and faster on top of him. The whole time we were kissing and watching each other until we neared the end. He lifted his head up and closed his eyes and I did the same just as I felt the pulsing ache, then the electricity between my ears and down my spine.
“Katy . . . god Katy, I love you.”
Goddammit, if that didn’t send me completely over the edge, Jamie brought it all home when he leaned forward and kissed each breast with complete control and determination. The aftershocks were still blasting through me as he tightened his hold and nuzzled into my chest. I wrapped my arms around his head and neck and held him to my body as tightly as I could.
We stayed that way for what felt like days. I imagined the time-lapse version of those moments we sat embracing each other on the couch after we made love, still connected and still overrun with heat. The sun would rush up and blast us through the blinds and then sink down again, casting strange shadows on the walls, but we would be the same, tangled in each other. In the darkness, our connected bodies would burn bright enough to fill the room with a warm glow.
He kissed my mouth and then stood and carried me to the bedroom. We spent an hour lying in bed and talking.
“So you believe in God?” I asked.
“I believe something is out there.”
“Like what, aliens?”
“Yes, aliens. That’s exactly what I was thinking,” he said sarcastically. I was lying on my side in the crook of his arm. He was sweeping his hand up and down against the skin on my back. “What do you think, silly girl?”
“I hope there is something more for the sake of everyone I’ve loved and lost.”
“I feel the same way. What do you think about family?”
“I wish I had one.”
“Me, too. Let’s make one.” It suddenly hit me what Jamie was asking.
“I’m scared.”
“Of what?”
“Screwing up my kids. I don’t even know what kind of person my father was.”
“Well, I know exactly what kind of people my biological parents are, and I have no concerns that their kind of slime has been passed on to me.”
I cupped his face and kissed him. “I don’t either, Jamie.”
“I believe that even though we’ve lost so many of our loved ones, we still have family around. They may not be blood related, but the people I considered my real parents were not blood related, either, and I don’t see them as anything less than family to me. I have Susan and Guillermo and Chelsea, and you have Jerry and Beth and Dylan, and we fucking have each other, Kate.” I nodded hesitantly. “Are you scared to do this with me?”
I shrugged. He grabbed my face and looked me right in the eyes. “How close am I to losing you?”
“What would it take for you to want to lose me, for you to want to leave?”
“It would take a fucking lot to drag me away from you. Don’t you see that?”
“Sometimes I feel like I’m broken or damaged.”
“I see this kind of splendor and innocent childlike wonder when I watch you. You’re always so curious about the world but terrified to be a part of it. You’re not broken just like I’m not cursed. I know that now.”