“No, I’m saying I have plans for the future and I want Ford happy. You make him happy, meaning your happiness becomes my problem. Anyone fucks with you, they fuck with me. Next time Creepy Spencer messes with you and he will, we don’t give him a thumbs up on living another day. Understand now?”
Even wanting to tell him no, I keep my mouth shut. He’s handing me a gift here, but I worry what the price will be later. Ford’s taught me that nothing’s free in Little Memphis.
40
Ford
Zombies and Pity Rides
After watching too many zombie movies, dead bodies give me the creeps. I always think a guy will come back and bite off my face. Or in Pax’s case, his dick.
I’m teasing him about this idea when we walk into Suede. The place is packed with club guys. Many of them have their side bitches with them. They smile at me and Pax like we got back from a vacation rather than killing two guys.
Killing Paro and Sandy doesn’t mean shit to me. I feel no guilt for snuffing out their particular lives. Yet I’m always edgy after watching someone die. It bothers me how fucking easy it is to take a life. One day, my life will be just as easy for someone to end.
In no mood to talk, we sit at a booth away from Joker, Sharpie, and Farmer.
“You gonna pick up Shay?” Pax asks, sitting low in the booth and scanning the room.
“No, I’ll see her in a day or two.”
“Why?”
I don’t know how to explain how I feel to Pax. He only cares about one person and I’m sitting right next to him. I don’t judge his job. I never hate him for his choices.
“Shay is soft,” I mutter. “I feel like I have all these sharp edges right now. I still smell death on my hands too.”
“Don’t want to touch something beautiful when you’re feeling ugly, huh?”
Happy to have Pax understand, I nod. He rarely gets shit when it comes to being soft. His life never offers him any tenderness, making it a foreign concept.
We drink a bottle of whiskey, two shots at a time. Relaxing into the buzzed feeling, my mind returns to Shay. Even wishing to think of something else, I’m lost these days. She’s an addiction. I never had an addictive personality, but I can’t shake her. Don’t even know if I want to anymore.
Pax shakes off his buzz and zeroes in on a girl at the end of the bar. She’s one of the dummies he often nails. I think he likes dumb girls because they laugh at his jokes.
I switch from whiskey to a cup of coffee while watching a game on the TV behind the bar. The game is dull, leaving me edgy and in desperate need of a fuck. Going to Shay isn’t an option, so I plan to pick up a six pack and head home. Booze and Folgers can calm me until I’m ready to see my girl.
Paying the tab, I start for the door when Maggie steps in front of me.
“No,” I grunt.
“Chill, baby,” she says, frowning. “I need a favor.”
“No.”
“It’s for Kiki. You know her, right?”
I glance at the waitress hiding a black eye behind way too much makeup. When Kiki smiles at me, I shake my head.
“What?” I say, jiggling my keys.
“She ditched her loser boyfriend, but he’s always hanging around. You see what he did to her eye, right? Why not be a hero and take her home so he’ll back off. The guy is obsessed, but he’s super scared of you.”
“Super scared, huh?”
Maggie glares at me. “You’re always such an asshole.”
“I don’t like you.”
“I don’t like you either.”
“I sense you like me more than I like you.”
Maggie rolls her eyes. “I think you’re a jackass, but I went along with your little plan to make that chick jealous. Now, are you going to let Kiki’s asshole ex smack her around and rape her tonight? Or are you going to drive her home?”
“Well, when you put it that way,” I mutter, grinning at her irritation. “Is she ready to go because I’m leaving?”
Kiki grabs her purse from behind the bar and follows me outside. I glance around for any trouble, but the parking lot is dead and Dimples is dozing off at the door.
“Thanks, Ford,” Kiki says.
Nodding, I climb on the Harley and wait for her to get on behind me. Her arms wrap around my waist and her cheek rests against my back. I relax into her embrace until remembering I’m spending the night alone.
Kiki is the exact kind of girl I always liked. If Pax wants them dumb, I like them quiet. Too much chatter drives me nuts. Except with Shay. My woman babbled one night for twenty minutes about shaving her pussy before deciding she couldn’t take the chance of nicking something important.
Leaving the club with Kiki holding on tight, I think back to that night. Mostly, I remember how Shay smiled at me once she finished her pussy shaving speech. I could live off her smile forever.
41
Shay
Dipping the Stick
Jenn looks tense when I find her sitting with Darby at the kitchen table. Both women stare at me and say nothing until I ask them if something’s wrong. Darby’s soft smile makes me panic.
“Is Ford hurt?”
“No, Shay. Sit down.”