Me First and the Blue Hawaii
Ford is a sexy beast, wearing a black long sleeve tee, black jeans, and boots. Fearsome and gorgeous, he radiates heat as we drive to City by Night. The evening grows cold during the ride and only Ford keeps me from shivering by the time we arrive. A few blocks from their house, Pax sped ahead of us and is now waiting in the parking lot.
“What’s the point of you ditching us,” Ford asks him once we arrive, “if you’re just going to sit around and wait in the end?”
Pax shrugs. “I don’t plan shit. You know that.”
The brothers don’t share many features, but they both look sexy dressed all in black. Their thick beards make them appear a little scary too. As we enter the retro-style club with flickering lights on the black ceiling, women check out the brothers while men avoid making eye contact. The only men willing to look at them also sport beards. I suspect they’re in the club too, but it’s not like they’re flashing signs or wearing matching jackets.
I feel underdressed in blue jeans, white tee, and red flannel shirt. Most of the women are wearing dresses. Casual, but classy, they make me feel like a dude hanging with my pals.
“Slugger, Home Run,” says a bearded man, walking towards us after we’re seated.
Ford gestures at me. “Bull, this is Shay.”
“Ah, Lucky’s kid. Jenn told Lupe all about her.”
“What’d she say?” Ford asks.
Bull scratches at his beard. “Twenty years ago, Lucky went to Hawthorne to visit his mom and met a cutie who lied about her age. He saw her a decade later and found out he had a kid, but the cutie didn’t want him around. Over the years, Lucky checked in. When he saw his girl needing a fresh start, he brought her out here. Sweet story. Heartwarming even.”
Frowning, I know the story isn’t true. Mom said my dad was one of a several guys she did at a party one weekend. She thought I looked like the one with the big ears, but she didn’t know any of their names and couldn’t track them down for child support. Though Mom lied to herself about how Donnie would leave his wife and marry her, she never lied to me. I suspect protecting her feelings were always more important than protecting mine.
“I think I see Lucky in her.”
Shrugging, I give into the lie. “Thanks.”
Bull whispers something to the brothers about business then leaves to check on other customers. Once he’s gone, I look over the menu.
“The fish tacos are good,” Ford says, leaning over to nuzzle my neck.
Ford’s cologne has a spicy quality. My body responding to the scent, I imagine nuzzling my face against the hairs on his chest.
Grunting, Pax stares at his menu. “Wouldn’t think Shay needs help ordering. Didn’t she used to take care of her little brothers? You know, before she ditched them when she got a better deal with Lucky.”
His comment kicks the confidence out of me. Ford has a different reaction. He leans over and whispers to me.
“I just think you ought to fix your hair.”
Sitting up straight, he continues, “So, Shay, go use the girls’ room while I threaten my brother with violence.”
I stand up and look at each of them. Pax is grumpy. Ford pretends he’s not. My stomach is in a knot and I now feel guilty. Leaving them to do whatever the hell they do together, I go to the restroom.
My hair is a bit messy from the ride over. I fix it then sit in a stall and call my brothers. Donnie answers right away and sounds tense.
“I have a test this week,” he says.
“You always stress, but you get good grades. It’ll be okay.”
“Devin might flunk third grade.”
“He wasn’t flunking when I left and that was only a few weeks ago. He’ll be okay too.”
“Mom and Dad had a fight. She’s been crying a lot. We haven’t had dinner in two days.”
His voice is edgy, so I keep mine extra smooth. “You know how to use the microwave.”
“We’re almost out of stuff to make. Mom went shopping a week ago. I don’t know when she’ll go again.”
“Tell her she needs to feed you. Don’t be soft on her. She’s the adult.”
“She does what she wants. Just like you.”
Sighing, I say nothing for a minute. When I speak, it’s a struggle not to cry. “Maybe you can visit this summer? The house I’m staying in has a park down the street. I also heard about a nearby hotel with an indoor water park.”
After a long silence, Donnie whispers, “I miss you. Things were better when you were here.”
“I know and I miss you too, but Mom needs to be a grownup and take care of her family.”
“Can I tell Devin we might get to visit you? He cried a lot last night when we had a thunderstorm and you weren’t here. I think he misses you more, so can I tell him?”
“Of course and tell him I plan to visit too. I just need to save up money.”