“I have no advice for you. The only thing I can say is if you make a stupid choice and fuck up, people around here won’t shit on you for it. This place is full of idiots, so you’ll fit in.”
My smile grows and I’m still grinning when we walk into Suede. Even happy to be at Darby’s side, I scan the bar for my object of lust. Ford isn’t at his usual spot. Disappointed, I follow Darby to a table where she speaks to people I don’t know and whose names I immediately forget.
Ordering a shot of tequila, I think about Ford’s arm around me at Lucky’s house. My mind returns to the flowers next to my bed at home. Ford treats me like I’m special, even though I’m not.
Truth is there’s nothing unique about me in any way. I’m not super beautiful or sexy. I’m not funny or tough. I’m a normal girl and I see plenty of them in the bar. Mostly I’m afraid to believe Ford thinks I’m special because that’s a stupid move my mom would make.
Joker walks over with his wife Amanda. They give me a smile then focus on Darby. I can’t really hear over the loud music and I’m even more distracted when I see Ford appear from a back hallway. He looks me over then stops at the bar and turns his back.
I don’t know what to do. While I want to talk to him, I also know where the conversation will lead. I decide to stay where I’m at and deal with Ford another day.
Darby joins Joker and Amanda on the dance floor. I watch them laugh and dance to the Violent Femmes. They’re confident in this place, surrounded by people they know and trust. I wish I might feel that way too, but I never fit in except with my little brothers. One day, they’ll grow up and move on while I’ll still be on the outside looking in.
I’m so focused on Darby dancing that I don’t notice the pretty blonde join Ford at the bar. When I do notice, my chest hurts. They’re not bullshitting about the weather or sports. I blew him off and his bed won’t stay empty long.
I don’t think. The girl is too damn pretty and Ford is checking out her curves. I have no choice really. I mean I do, but I’m too stupid and impulsive to remember what those choices are until I’ve already erased the distance between me and them.
“Ford,” I say, tugging on his shirt. “Let’s go somewhere so you can fuck me.”
The girl gives me a dirty look, but I don’t care about her. She’s already made her sale and now it’s my turn.
Ford gives me a sideways glance. “Is this you teasing me again? I’m really not in the mood.”
As he takes a swig of beer, I step between him and the competition. “I’m sick of teasing. I want you to make me feel good.”
Ford narrows his eyes. Sizing me up and down first, he then checks out the other girl. He has all the power and I’m already begging. Before my brain can take over and control my impulsive heart, Ford finishes his beer.
“Later, Maggie. I’ve been waiting to hit this for too long.”
Ford takes my hand and leads me out of the bar. He says nothing until we reach his Harley. By then, I’m torn between common sense and remembering how Ford makes me feel when I don’t let common sense get in the way.
“You better not pull the frigid bitch deal when we get to my place,” he warns, staring down at me.
“I’ve never been fucked well. Your tone makes me think my bad luck will continue.”
Ford smirks then leans down and sucks at my bottom lip. I try to kiss him, but he pulls away.
“Let’s go before your on switch flips back to off,” he says, sliding onto the black Harley. “Better hold onto your trucker hat.”
I yank off the hat and stick it between my knees while I pull my hair into a ponytail. Once I tug the hair through the hole in the hat so it won’t blow off, I look at an amused Ford.
“Good girl,” he says as the Harley roars to life.
I climb on behind him and get comfortable. Wrapping my arms around his hard waist, I think about how I won. Yet as we speed away, I wonder if I am ready to enjoy my prize.
Ford races around traffic, both thrilling and terrifying me. I love speed, but I’d like to live past this evening. I sense Ford doesn’t worry about such things. He’s alive until he’s not. Once he’s dead, he won’t have the luxury of caring. I’m tempted to think the same way except the new Shay isn’t so impulsive. She wants a long productive life. Of course, she might have thought about that before telling Ford to fuck her.
His house isn’t what I expect. My hopes were low, so anything would be an improvement. I notice a Harley parked in the driveway of the tri-level house. Pax is home and I get a weird feeling I might end up in a gang bang. Impulsive behavior comes with its dangers.
Ford takes my hand once we’re off the Harley and leads me up the steps to the front door. I sense he still worries I’ll say I punked him and run for it. I guess I could, but I’m too curious to back down now.
“Pax and I bought this place when the economy went to shit. We got it cheap. The neighbors are all old farts who can’t hear anything, so we can be loud without them bitching.”