“No, not that I can think of.” The expression on his face was starting to worry me. What if something was wrong? Judging by the way he was looking at me, I was guessing there was some sort of problem.
“Okay dear, well we need to do a few different types of ultrasounds and run some tests. There seems to be a problem with the baby and we need to get everything checked out. Lay here for a bit and I’ll be right back with a nurse.” He patted me on the arm, I guess to reassure me, and quietly closed the door.
I looked up at the stark white ceiling, my mind racing with all of the different problems there could be. I mean, I was officially a nurse now, you would think something would jump out at me, but nothing did. This pregnancy had been pretty easy so far and I hadn’t had any problems, maybe it had been too easy and I should have noticed something sooner.
I laid there for what seemed like hours being jostled around and poked by the doctor and two nurses. After the final ultrasound, the nurses quietly left with somber expressions, and the doctor sat down on the stool next to me.
“Leah, I’m sorry to have to be the one to tell you this but the baby does not have a heartbeat. I’m not sure exactly what happened but I’m assuming it has something to do with your cervix. I ran a few tests and we should get the results in a matter of days…”
He kept droning on but I didn’t hear any of it. I just knew, in that moment, I didn’t want to be alone. I reached down for my purse and somehow in a blur of tears pulled my phone out.
“Chase, I need you.”
Chapter 13
Chase
It had been almost a month since I had gotten that dreaded call from Leah in the middle of the day. When she hadn’t called for about an hour after her appointment, I had started to get worried, and had set my phone on my desk, willing it to ring.
Of course, it didn’t help that Brittany had stayed after class, scooting herself onto the edge of my desk, in probably what was one of the shortest skirts I had ever seen. I had no clue how she hadn’t gotten in trouble for it. She just made me nerves even worse, putting me on edge that someone would walk in and assume the worst. So, I quickly left my classroom and just as I did, my phone rang.
For some reason, I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was wrong with Leah and our baby. Unfortunately, I was right.
I was there for her as much as I could be. Unfortunately, because she had been so far along, labor had to be induced and she was put through the experience of having to deliver our child. When the doctor had pulled out the tiny baby, lifeless with no heartbeat, Leah had squeezed her eyes tightly shut, refusing to look at the baby. I had held it for just a minute, before they had taken it away. It had been a baby boy.
She was shaken up after that, as expected and let me comfort her for the first week, but after that she started to push me away. She barely left our room and talked to no one. Ally and Remy both called every day to check up on her, but she refused to talk to them.
Ally was worried, insisting that she needed to come back, but I didn’t think it would do any good. Leah was in her own little bubble right now, and no one could seem to be able to pop it. I knew Ally was having a good time on tour and she was where she needed to be. I had promised if there was any change in Leah’s mood, she would be the first one I would call.
Caleb was confused by the whole situation. After I realized that things weren’t getting any better, I called Roy and he agreed to take Caleb to give Leah some time. If I had thought he would’ve healed her, I would have kept him home, but she barely even noticed when he was in the room.
I didn’t know what to do, plus I had my own heartbreak to deal with. I know Leah had carried our baby, but it had been a part of both of us, created by our love.
“Baby, I brought you something to eat.” I flicked on the light, setting down the tray on the nightstand. She blinked up at me, her eyes completely emotionless. “I’m not hungry.”
I let out a loud sigh and looked down at her with my hands clenched tightly against my hips. I had tried to be understanding, but it was starting to get harder. She could be so damn stubborn sometimes. “Are you going to come with me today? Everyone’s been asking about you. You know you can’t resist my mom’s cooking during the holidays.”
She shook her head and flopped back down on the pillow, pulling the blankets straight up to her chin. “C’mon Leah, everyone will miss you. It won’t be the same without you and Caleb there. It’s Christmas.”
“You’re right it won’t be the same without Caleb, one of the many reasons I don’t want to go. Please don’t push me on this, Chase.”
“Leah, if you wanted him home you should have said something. I thought it was for the best.”
“I know,” she answered quietly. “It is, I’m not good for him and he’s where he should be. I just screw everything up anyway.”