Kasim starts to interject, but then looks at me and seems to think better of it.
“I can tell you you’re wrong about the bath part,” I supply, when Kasim doesn’t speak. Mei just rolls her eyes in answer, turning away when I continue. “I was a First until I turned eight. They are people too.”
Her voice is quiet when she answers. A growl. “Those slavers don’t deserve more consideration than the time it takes to aim. You know why I joined the Menghu? So I can tell them I have a name, not a number. Show the City that I am worth more than the rice quota for the day.” She picks up my hand, fingers digging into my star brand. “How can you defend any of them? He’s the one who did this to you.”
I shake my head. “He’s here. Doesn’t that mean anything?”
Her fingers loosen from around my wrist. “I guess we’ll see.”
I look at Kasim, expecting him to speak up for his friend, but he’s humming to himself, looking at the ceiling. “Well, Mei, you work on teaching him how to tie his own shoes and I’ll make sure to shove my brand in his face every few minutes or so. Maybe we can make him cry. Would that help you feel better?”
Mei laughs, and the intense, violent version of her tucks itself behind that broken smile. “Get him to take out a Red or two. Then we can talk.”
I grimace, wondering if Mei can hear the carnage in those words. She doesn’t seem hard the way Helix is. Maybe this is Menghu talk, a way to avoid looking the soldiers they’re shooting at in the eyes. Mei checks outside again, then gestures for us to follow. “Come on. I’m starving.”
When I don’t move, she gives me a cute little smile. “Fine. But I’ll be back for you later.”
Back for me? For all that I want to trust her, I can’t help the prickle of alarm that dances across the back of my neck as she slides through the open door. “What for?”
“More dancing, of course.” Kasim stands up and looks both ways down the hall before slipping out the door after her.
? ? ?
Later, as Mei leads me down to the dance hall, I catch a flutter of white jacket coming around the bend. Even if Howl did very publicly warn the Mountain not to drag me down to hospital, I don’t want to test it out. Unfortunately, the Yizhi is around the corner and walking by before I can get out of the way. It’s Sole, the medic I bumped into when I first got here, touching things as she walks by. She glances at me as she passes, but doesn’t stop.
The room is crowded, the air clouded by too many people breathing too hard. Kasim appears out of the mob, hand extended.
Submitting to a dance sounds about as exciting as volunteering for torture. It even looks like torture for the Menghu already circling the cement pillars, faces frozen in grimacing concentration. I shake my head, “I’ll watch, thanks. I’m kind of . . .” I search my mind for an excuse, the most blandly boring one finally coming out. “I have a headache.”
But Kasim hangs by me for a minute. “Is it being underground?” he asks. “A lot of people get headaches from the electric lights. We could fix that. My unit is out on patrols tonight along with yours.”
“What do you mean?”
“Come with us. I’ll take care of you.”
Back in the corner of the room, a couple catches my eye, spinning and kicking across the floor, oblivious to the ripples their flawless performance is creating. They move as though they are one person, the girl’s auburn hair bright against her partner’s shoulder. Eyes closed as she follows him, she draws the steps out like a picture on the floor. It’s a life story, one that makes me begin to understand why the Menghu like to dance so much. It’s a fight, a struggle. Just as violent or passionate as training and patrols must be. It suits them.
Mei slides down into the chair next to me, waving at Kasim as he goes off to find a partner who will actually dance. Her eyes follow mine to the red-haired girl as she storms across the floor. “That’s Rena. She grew up here, dancing. You can tell the Mountain-born from the rest of us just imitating. The dance is part of them.”
Caught up in watching Rena’s tight turns, I don’t notice Helix until his hand is on my arm. “Care to learn a few steps?” he asks.
Mei flinches when she sees him, hand going to her bruised cheek. Helix’s hand feels too heavy, making me fidget with discomfort at his touch. Is Cale waiting just outside, ready to drag me down to the hospital? “No, thank you.”
He ignores the rejection, pulling me up with a pointy smile. “I don’t usually dance with newcomers, but I’ll make an exception for you. Come here. You’re just the right height.”
Not wanting to cause a scene, I follow, skin crawling as he pulls me in close, his arm curving around my spine. Menghu coat gone, he wears a simple T-shirt and black pants. His unremarkable clothes remind me of a propaganda ad they ran in the City a while back. A picture of a shaggy-furred, fanged monster trying to sit with a group of Thirds during self-criticism. REPORT THE FIRST SIGNS YOU SEE! it said. I always thought whoever drew the poster must have been deluded to think that SS would be so easy to spot. Yet here Helix is, trying to slip in with the rest of us, like he isn’t a closeted serial killer.
For all the promise of teaching me steps, Helix just wrenches me around the floor. Every jerk makes me a little angrier until my temper is simmering dangerously close to the surface. His hand wrapped around my back is sweaty, seeping through to my skin.
“So is this how you reeled Cale in? Manhandling her around the dance floor?” I cross my foot under his and he trips.
He recovers, pulling me in again. “You’re angry.”
“Curious.”
“I need to talk to you about something.”
“Well, I don’t really want to breathe the same air as you, much less talk.”
Helix’s black eyes hold at my shoulder, thoughtful but refusing to look at me as he leads. “Is it because of that Wood Rat?” he finally asks.
Anger rises all the way up to my cheeks. “Is what because of that Wood Rat?”
“You seemed much less . . . angry when I met you. Is it because of that little Wood Rat? I’d think you’d be grateful, since it was Howl’s head on the chopping block that night. You two seem so close.”
I shake my head, fingers numb in the grip they have on Helix’s arm. “June. Her name is June.”
“I saved your life. It’s what we do, Sev. Kill or be killed.” Helix’s voice purrs like a rabid lion. “You don’t know who is good and who is bad. I made a decision you didn’t agree with, so I must be bad, right?” He gives my hand a squeeze. “Yet I’m here opposing the City, so I must be good.”
“No, I stopped you from murdering my friend for no better reason than you had an extra bullet itching in your gun. I’m pretty sure that doesn’t leave any room to wonder where you fall.” Helix’s breath is in my face, slithering down my neck.
His voice twists around me and my ears feel oily just from having to listen. He’s caught some of my anger. “I want to be safe. To have a home, a place I can have a family. And June . . . all the Wood Rats . . . could bring that crashing down anytime.”
“A fourteen-year-old girl? She was going to destroy your life? I thought everyone was welcome here in the Mountain?” Everyone who isn’t infected.
“The ones who want to come in, not the ones trying to kill us for Mantis.” Helix glances down at me. “I need to tell you about something. It might change your mind about me.”
I push against him, as far away as his arms let me go. “You would have killed her, Helix. Dead because she put rocks in your pack, because she didn’t bow down to the scary Menghu. Which wouldn’t have helped anyway, considering how you treat your own trainees.” I look over at Mei, who is watching us, eyes wide. “When’s Mei’s death date, Helix? The next time she steps wrong in your war games?”