“At eight o’clock?” I asked incredulously.
“Have you looked around?” Nikki said, reaching to open her door. “It seems like the hip thing to do around here that and watering your flowers in explicit swimwear.”
I wasn’t sure what Vic was thinking hiding us away here at Shady Pines or whatever the hell this place was but then again this might be the perfect hideout. I couldn’t picture a fleet of gangsters rolling in through here in fact this was probably the last place they’d look for us. Nikki rang the doorbell and turned to me.
“If they don’t answer then maybe we should call Jimmy.” She said.
“Fuck that.” I replied, taking a step closer to the door to ring the bell again. “The less I talk to that imbecile the better.” I glanced up at the house. Please be home. I really didn’t want to call Jimmy.
“Mikey—“She started to say just as I jiggled the doorknob. Bingo. I turned the knob and pushed the door open for a mobster’s sister, Aunt Gina wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. I made a mental note to bring that up to her at least for the time being with us being here and all I’d like for her to lock the door.
I felt Nikki’s arms wrap around my waist as I stepped into the dark house. Her lips were just a hair away from my ear as she whispered. “You know it’s not fair that you’re always ogling my ass when you have a pretty fine ass yourself. I think I’m going to start walking behind you.”
Over my dead, body Princess.
I started to turn around to argue with Nikki that there was no way I was forfeiting my right to walk behind her when the lights flickered inside the house.
“HANDS IN THE AIR OR SO HELP ME GOD I’LL SHOOT YOU!”
My eyes widened as I turned back around coming face to face with a shotgun and the four foot eleven old lady with a big pouf of red hair that was aiming it me.
“Nana! It’s me, Nikki.”
“Who?” Nana said as she dug the barrel of the gun into my hip.
“Ma put the gun down.” Aunt Gina said from behind her. “It’s Nikki and her boyfriend.”
“Nicole?” Nana said, her eyes gleaming with venom as she stared at me. “Then who the hell is this?”
“Nana, it’s me Michael. You remember me don’t you? Val’s kid? I used to rob cigarettes for you back in the day?” I said as I smiled at her, wrapping my hand around the barrel of the gun, hoping that she’d let me take it out of her hands before the goddamn thing went off.
“For crying out loud give me the damn gun Ma.” Aunt Gina said, pulling the gun out of her hands. She took it and propped it against the wall next to Nana the damn thing was half her size.
“Why is she carrying around a shotgun?” Nikki said, closing the door behind her. Great now we were trapped here in crazy town.
“Your father called and said we were under attack so she’s been sleeping with it under her bed every night since.” Gina said looking back and forth between Nikki and me. “I don’t want you two to fret about anything. I’ve beefed up security and alerted some of my neighbors that if they see anything shady they should let me know.”
“That’s really sweet of you Aunt Gina but I think we are just trying to keep a low profile until the dust settles back home, maybe you and Nana can take it down a notch.”
Or seven. These broads were like Sophia Petrillo and Dorothy Zbornack meets Janice and Liv Soprano.
“Sons of bitches shoot up my son’s place of business and think they’re going to get away with it. Bring them over here I’ll shoot the bastards. I’m ninety-three if they throw me in the slammer it won’t be a big deal. I don’t have much longer anyway and it’ll be a fine way to go.” Nana said reaching for the gun again.
“No no no! Nana stop.” Nikki said, stepping out from behind me putting herself between her grandmother and the shotgun that rested against the wall. She looked towards me, for I don’t know what guidance maybe? I shrugged my shoulders, I was tapped out on dealing with crazy, and these two weren’t just crazy they were straight up loons. Nikki gave me a look kind of like the look a woman gave a man she was with signaling them to get their ass in line.