“You sure about that?” I asked him watching as his expression changed proving my words had him questioning himself. He remained silent. “I’ll be back in ten.” I said deciding to let him think about it. I had no right to tell Nikki how to live her life or who to live it with. It didn’t matter that I wanted her. This pull towards her that I was feeling was purely sexual making me a hypocrite. Sure, I cared about her she was my friend but I was not looking to be the man in her life. I could barely take care of myself let alone be the man good enough to take care of her. Not that she needed someone to take care of her but needing and wanting were two different things. The man who was lucky enough to be with her should be the man who wanted to take care of her. That man should be capable of being all that she deserved. That man wasn’t Rico but it wasn’t me either.
I stepped outside of the club greedily breathing in the fresh air. I pulled my phone out of my pocket about to try Nikki again. I couldn’t explain the need to hear her voice to know that I didn’t fuck up our friendship. I was selfish so fucking selfish that I made myself sick. I should stay away from her. Clearly, I was affecting her in ways I shouldn’t. If I were half the man I should be, I’d leave her the fuck alone. My hand closed over my phone and I fought with my conscience to do the right thing.
“Don’t worry about Nikki she’s not going anywhere.”
Hearing her name caused me to snap out of the internal war I was battling and round the corner to see who was talking about my girl. Rico’s back was towards me as he spoke into the phone. I leaned against the wall to listen without making my presence known.
“Trust me I’ve got her under control. She’s not going to call it quits before the opening.” He paused. “I’m not worried about her. I know what I told you, but I don’t think it’s going to be a problem anymore. Yeah, I know. Just relax I have this under control. We’ve come this far do you really think after all the time I invested in this shit I’m going to let anything bring us down? I’ll talk to you later I’m walking into the club now.”
I watched him end the call and shove his phone into his pocket. I decided to wait a few moments before walking around the corner. I didn’t want him to know I overheard his conversation deciding that it was better to keep an eye on Rico and uncover further information regarding his conversation. I didn’t know what that prick bastard was up to but whatever it was involved Nikki. Something told me it wasn’t close to any kind of good.
I turned the corner just as he did purposely bumping into him. He looked up, eyes full of anger until he realized it was me.
“Watch where you’re walking buddy.” I said smoothly.
“I could say the same to you.” He replied. We stared at each other for a moment. He was probably wondering where I came from or if I had been outside long enough to hear his conversation.
“Victor’s been looking for you.” I said as I studied him.
He grinned at me. “Yeah, well I don’t think he’d like to know the reason I’m late.” He said with a laugh and then patted me on the back.
“What’s the reason?” I asked balling my fists inside my pockets knowing that I was going to regret my question.
“Well, I can’t tell him I had a late start because his daughter wouldn’t let me leave the bedroom if you know what I mean.” He winked slyly. I wanted to punch him in the face and poke his eye out with an ice pick. “I doubt daddy dearest wants to hear his daughter is a tiger in bed.”
“Word to the wise?” I said, leaning closer to him. My voice dropped to a gravely whisper. “I don’t want to hear it either.”
“Duly noted.” He said evenly. He looked at me sizing me up before he stepped around me without uttering another word. He walked into Temptations with an arrogant swagger leaving me to plot all the ways I was going to make him suffer.
There is something to be said about the guilt that consumes a person after they cross a line. It’s as if the guilt has a life of its own taking over your entire being. Everything that you were once sure of no longer exists leaving you in a state of uncertainty. I am not the type to cope with uncertainty well. I like having the upper hand in life, but after last night, I had no idea what to feel anymore. I have no idea how my actions will affect my friendship with Mikey and I am too much of a coward to find out.
That’s why I hightailed it to my sister’s house, hoping that she would be able to make sense of what I had done. I’ve been here for two hours working up the nerve to tell her that I baited Mikey into phone sex. I told myself that my intentions last night were to talk to Mikey about the attraction we have for one another and establish a way to get passed it. If we were going to remain friends, he couldn’t look at me as if I was his last meal and he would savor every bit of me. I also planned to lecture myself that I wouldn’t enjoy the way he looks at me. I wouldn’t enjoy being on the receiving end of those devastating stares. Problem was I liked the way he looked at me and I’d be lying to myself if I said a part of me didn’t wish I had the balls to end things with Rico so I could explore my options with Mikey.
“Are you going to tell me why you’re sulking all day or are we going to continue to sit here and pretend that you’re not torn up about something?” Adrianna said as she poured me a cup of coffee.
I looked up at my sister taking the cup of coffee she offered. “I’m not torn up about anything.”