Well, he had me there. I opened my mouth to answer him, but closed it just as quickly. I didn’t deserve her. I’d never be good enough for her. For the first time I was thinking with my head and not the one below my waist.
“Trust me. I’m not saying it to be a dick, but because I care. I care about Nikki hell I care about you too. You are about to embark onto some dangerous shit working for Vic. I don’t give a damn how many promises he makes about how he wants to keep you legit—the lines blur brother. They always do. I’m living proof those lines cross. If you don’t believe me, go ask Adrianna.” He sighed blowing out an exasperated breath before he swiped a hand down his tired face.
I swallowed hard, not wanting to hear what Anthony was saying, but understanding that what he said was probably true. The harsh reality stabbed me in the gut I had no intention of starting a relationship. I knew I wasn’t capable of anything more than a quick fuck. What kind of person did that make me? That I was willing to use a girl that I actually cared about because I did care about Nikki. She was the only person in my corner these days and Anthony was right, there was a long history of friendship between us and here I was ready to sabotage all that because I couldn’t keep my dick in my pants.
Nikki deserved better than Rico and she deserved way better than me. The last thing I wanted was to hurt her and destroy the friendship that we were building. I needed to call her. For purely selfish reasons I needed to know that, we were okay because I needed Nikki in my life. In such a short period of time she became my anchor holding me close to shore when I felt like drifting into unchartered waters.
I looked back at Anthony. “Message received loud and clear.” I grabbed my phone from the coffee table and left Anthony alone in the living room.
I laid in bed staring up at the ceiling in my bedroom replaying the kiss over and over in my head. How was it that just the touch of his lips could make my body feel as if it was a frayed wire left raw and exposed? Just a little touch of his mouth resulted in electrical currents shooting through my body straight down to my toes.
The thing that bothered me most was the fact that I was sitting here reliving the kiss wondering how far it would’ve gone. What would it actually felt like to have his hands on me and not feeling the slightest bit guilty? It was wrong on so many levels, but most of all it was damaging to my character. I wasn’t a cheat I didn’t condone cheating and if I found out Rico cheated on me I would castrate him. But was a kiss as miniscule as the one I shared with Mikey really considered cheating? I don’t think so, but the feelings I was having and thoughts I was thinking that I considered cheating. It didn’t matter that I hadn’t acted on the desires I was feeling it still felt wrong.
My phone chimed and I contemplated throwing it out the window. That thing was the cause of this shit if I could only ignore it. I should put it on silent. Excuses, excuses. I grabbed the phone and stared at the screen.
Mikey: We need to talk Princess.
Nope. I’ll pass thanks! I wasn’t ready to face the music. I wasn’t ready to usher that one stolen moment under the rug as if it never happened. I just wanted to hold onto it for just a little longer. I promised myself tomorrow was another day and I would put all my efforts into fixing the mess with Rico. I had to decide once and for all if what we had could be mended and while I was at it, I would distance myself from Mikey. I’d cut him off. Cold turkey was the only way to end this.
The phone started ringing and I cursed Mikey. I knew why he was calling I knew exactly what he was going to say. He was going to say it was a mistake. That it should’ve never happened. He was a hundred percent right, but I was still in denial and wasn’t ready to face the facts. Goddamn it just let me have my moment! I ignored the call.
He called again.
“What is it?” I said perturbed.
“I knew you were mad. Shit Nikki I’m sorry.” He said, sounding frustrated with himself.
I sat up on my bed, propping my head on the mountain of pillows behind me. I sighed and gave in. “You’re right, I’m mad, but not for the reason you think. So tell me what are you sorry for Mikey? That you kissed me?”
“Well, yeah. Sort of. I mean I shouldn’t have but… Nikki.” He paused struggling with his words.
“What?” I prodded hopefully.
“That wasn’t even a fucking kiss.” He hissed into the phone and the devil in me smiled at his declaration. He must’ve put the phone down or covered the speaker because his curses were muffled and then there was silence.
“It wasn’t?” I asked securing my place in hell.