“Mikey baby stay with me.” I shout over the boisterous sound of gunfire. “Please just hang in there.” I beg as I watch his fingers twitch and he tries to reach for me but I’m too far out of his reach. “Somebody help!!” I scream even though no one can hear me.
My heart shatters into a million pieces as Mikey’s eyes close. “No!!” I let out a guttural shrill. He can’t die Mikey can’t die. He saved my life and took that bullet for me. I should be the one lying in a pool of blood not him. I can’t even hold him. I can’t kiss him and assure him, he’s going to be all right. I can’t tell him that he can’t leave this earth because I love him. All I can do is watch as he bleeds out. I don’t know how long I lay on my side watching Mikey die, but it seems like an eternity.
“Nikki? Nikki!!” I hear my father frantically yell over the gunfire.
“I’m over here!” I scream. “Mikey’s been shot! You need to help him.” I hear more gunshots and then the sound of soles tapping rapidly against the cement. My father falls to his knees in front of me blocking my view of Mikey and takes my face in his hands.
“Thank God.” He cries tears rolling down his cheeks. “Are you hurt?” He asks, as he looks me over. “Did that bastard touch you?”
I shake my head. “I’m fine, but Mikey’s not you have to help him! Please, he can’t die.”
He looks over his shoulder at Mikey looking torn between the two of us and which one he should tend to first but ultimately crawls to Mikey. I watch on as he stares in shock at Mikey’s nearly lifeless body lying in a pool of blood.
“You have to apply pressure to the wound or he’s going to bleed out.” I instruct nervously and watch as my father rolls his sleeves up and without hesitation he presses his hands down on Mikey’s wound.
“Vic?” Jimmy calls out as the gunfire dies down.
“Over here! We need help.” My father calls over his shoulder as he leans forward applying his weight down on his hands that are firmly pushing down on Mikey’s wound. “Stay with me son.” He pleads.
“Jesus…” Jimmy says, standing over us.
“Untie me!” I screech at him. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a utility knife kneeling behind me he cuts the plastic ties from my wrists setting me free before scrambling around me to untie my ankles. I shake out my hands and try to get the blood circulating, as I crawl falling flat on my face because of my lack of strength and mobility. Jimmy helps me by putting his hands under my arms and holding my upper body up as I attempt to crawl on my knees again finally making my way to Mikey.
At first all I see is blood there is just so much and it seems to be everywhere. I lift my eyes to his face, reaching out I touch his cheek and break down when I feel how clammy his skin feels.
“Call 911.” My father tells Jimmy. I feel his eyes watching me as I shift my body taking Mikey’s head and cradling it in my lap. I lean down and press my lips to his forehead struggling to hold myself together desperate to believe that this isn’t the end for us silently willing him to live.
“I love you.” I say against his skin. “I love you so much Michael.” I lift my head my eyes meeting my father’s.
“I’m sorry.” He whispers regretfully. I wish sorry was enough, but it’s not. It will never be enough, especially if I lose the only man I have ever loved.
Chapter Twenty Seven
When I was, three years old, my grandpa Tony died it was a pivotal moment in my life and at the tender age of three, one would think that I wouldn’t remember anything but I remember bits and pieces from that day. I can recall bouncing on my blue rocking horse with the springs on it waiting for my Grandpa to come home from the docks. He was a longshoreman and had gone down to the union hall that morning. Two officers rang Nana’s bell that day one male and the other a female. The female officer wore her hair tied back in a ponytail. When her partner asked my grandma to sit down and began to explain what had happened to my Grandpa the female officer took me into the living room and made me tell her all about my horsey. I remember that officer after all these years the same way I remember the scent of flowers that filled the funeral parlor in the days that followed. I know now this is how we remember certain moments in our lives by the people and things that surrounded us at the time. We may not remember the actual event, but the things that were associated with it allow us never to forget these certain life changing moments.