He looks down at me, a glint in his eyes, and I smile sweetly. "Sucks, doesn't it? Horny yet?"
Without a word, he pulls off the rest of his clothes, and I realize I'd forgotten just how fucking gorgeous this man is. I'm not a shallow person. There's more to a guy then just his looks or cock size. But come on, we can be honest with each other. The fact that he's sculpted like Adonis isn't exactly a drawback, you know?
He pushes me to the bed, but I want control this time. I flip him over and straddle him, my tits brushing against his mouth as I rub my pussy against his cock without letting him fill me. The teasing is hard on us both. I want him just as badly as he wants me, but I also want him to suffer, just a little.
I smile, biting my lip, as I take him in just enough to make him groan and clutch my hips with his hands. Holding myself above him with my legs, I move up and down, fucking just the tip of his cock as we hold eye contact.
"You're evil, you know that?" he says through clenched teeth. I can tell he's using all his self-control not to shove his hips into mine and impale himself in me fully. I admire his restraint.
Mine is fading. I want to feel him. All of him.
"Serves you right," I tell him. And then I sink onto him, taking every inch of his hard cock into me. One smooth motion that makes us both cry out.
He's so goddamn big he stretches me, and it feels incredible. I enjoy being in control like this, riding him, moving my hips and my body as he matches me with his rhythm, his hands still on my waist. We slam into each other, our eyes locked together, our bodies moving as one.
I thought we'd just start in this position and then change, but there's a chemistry here that neither of us wants to break. It's not just the physical pleasure of feeling him inside me. The way our bodies are connected, the way we are getting lost in each other... I don't want it to end.
I slow my movements, riding him with less urgency to make this moment last longer. My mind is filled with only him, us, this moment, and I am his completely.
When we come, it is as one, and I am remade in that moment, remade into someone new. Remade into someone who can't imagine not seeing Sebastian Donovan again.
Chapter 10
Compromises
Laying here with him like this, with actual memories together during periods of sobriety, I am beginning to imagine a future with this man. Something more than just sex. And I can't believe I'm about to admit this, but I think I'm going to take his offer. I'll put aside the annulment and date him for the summer. After that, well, we can cross that bridge then, if a summer hasn't blown it into bits and pieces.
"I have one condition," he says.
I have no idea what he's talking about. I lift my head off his chest and stare into his cobalt blue eyes. "What?"
"To signing the annulment papers. I have a condition."
My heart skips a beat. It's like he can read my mind; only if he could, he wouldn't be offering to sign the papers now. I feel… sad. It's silly, I know. This is really what I want. Even if we are truly meant to be, which I'm totally not convinced of yet, that doesn't mean I want to start our life off with a drunken elopement I can't remember. Still. There's sadness. Shut up about it, okay?
"What's your condition?" I sit up in bed, naked and unashamed. I never got the point of being shy after someone's already seen you naked.
"I still want the summer," he says. "With you. A one hundred percent commitment. At the end of the summer, we'll call it quits if you still want to."
I pause. It's basically the same deal, so why are we even talking about this?
He sees the question in my eyes and smiles. "I'm not an asshole, Kacie. You can get the annulment with or without my signature, but I don't want you thinking I'm trying to coerce you into anything. You can still say no, even now. I just hope you won't."
"I’m afraid I can’t be what you want and need," I tell him honestly. "You're ready for the marriage and kids, which makes sense. You've got your career and your life pretty well defined. Me? I'm not even close. I'm still a mess trying to piece together the life I want. I'm not ready to give it all up, even for someone as amazing as you."
He smiles. "I'm amazing, huh?"
I throw a pillow at him. "Is that all you took out of what I just said?"
He sits up and faces me. "No. I hear you. But I'm not sure I understand. I'm not asking for kids. Yet. I'm not asking you to give up anything. I'm just asking for you."
My heart beats wildly, and I want to throw myself at him, but I know who I am and what I'm capable of. And I know what this decision would cost me. "My mom thought she could have it all. So did my sister. But as soon as they got married, they got pregnant, and who do you think had to make the sacrifices to take care of the kids or cook dinner or clean house or stay home with sick kids? Don't get me wrong, I love my mom and my sister, but I don't want to be them."