She catches my gaze, sadness filling hers, and I sober.
“Then you guys started hanging out a lot,” she says, “and he didn’t have time for me. That’s normal, I guess. I mean, I hung out with Tae Hwa a lot. It was natural for Jason to find someone else to spend time with, and I’m glad it’s you—I like you a lot, Grace.” She pauses. “I guess I’m just not sure what to do now, facing losing him.”
“But you’re not losing him! Just because he and I are friends doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want to spend time with you anymore.”
She shakes her head. “You don’t understand. It’s different now. I never had to compete with a girlfriend. It’s weird.”
Heat burns the tips of my ears. “I’m not his girlfriend.”
“Yet. I’ve seen the way you guys look at each other.”
We fall silent, and my mind struggles to wrap around that word—yet.
“I should have sided with him during the band’s breakup. He needed someone to back him up, and I didn’t.” Tears pool in Sophie’s eyes, and she laughs them off even as one slips down her cheek. “But I was too distracted by Tae Hwa to even consider my own brother, my twin.”
“Oh, Sophie.” I wrap my arm around her shoulders and give her a tight squeeze. “Don’t feel bad. Jason wasn’t angry.”
“I know, but I still should have stuck by him. We’re family. That’s what you do.”
Her words bring a dull throb to my chest, but I force myself to ignore it. Everything with Nathan is over. I can’t dwell on it anymore.
“You’re not mad at me, are you?” she asks.
“Please. No way could I be mad.” I give her shoulder a light shove. “You’re my best girlfriend.”
She brightens. “Really?”
“Really.”
But if I’m being honest, Jason’s my best friend, period. And I just pray that, one day, he can be more.
*
“You’re going to kill us,” Jason says from behind me, and his arms wrapped around my waist seem to burn through my thin T-shirt.
I focus all my energy on keeping the bike upright and not ramming us into any stationary objects, like trees—the moving objects can get out of our way. The bike wobbles beneath us, and Jason chuckles.
“Shut up,” I snap.
Why did I insist on driving us across the island again? Oh yeah, because I wanted to prove to him that I could. Dumbest idea ever.
“Turn here.” Jason points to the left.
I peer over my shoulder to make sure no one’s coming, then cut across three lanes of traffic to make a sharp left turn, just missing the side of a BMW. I suck in a sharp breath and peddle faster, like if we can escape the spot, Jason won’t notice I almost got us pulverized.
The palm of his hand presses into my stomach, and it flip-flops in response. I follow his directions for another ten minutes until I spot the pebbly beach. As I pull over to a sidewalk that flanks the ocean, Jason hops off the back of the bike. I screech to a halt and stumble off, my legs like jelly.
“Gah, you should consider losing some weight, Bae.” I rub my thighs. “You’re heavy.”
He bends down to lock the bike to a light post. “Or maybe you should gain some muscle.”
I scowl at his wry smile.
With the sun setting, lights flicker on around us. Boats chug past, on their way to Incheon harbors. In the distance, across the water, the city lights glow, but here on Ganghwa Island, a stillness lingers in the air.
Jason and I meander down the walkway, close enough to brush hands occasionally, but far enough that I long for the quiet comfort of his fingers threaded through mine. I sneak a glance at him. He called me this morning, asking if I wanted to hang out tonight. Like we don’t do that every night. But, this time, his voice sounded different, unsure, almost nervous.
“So, do you feel any different now that you’ve graduated?” I ask, if only to break the silence between us.
He gives a noncommittal grunt.
“You?” he asks.
“Not really. It was strangely … uneventful.” Probably because I have bigger things to think about—like the future.
We fall silent.
“I wanted to talk to you about something.” Jason shoves his hands into his pockets. “I umm … wanted to let you know that I’m leaving for Seoul tomorrow.”
“Oh.” My mood tanks.
“I talked to some people from the record label, and they want me to do some interviews with the media, make some TV appearances, that sort of stuff. They said I need to get myself out there again.”
“That makes sense,” I say. And it does. So why do I suddenly feel like I got hit by a truck?
“Yoon Jae has already signed a contract with another label.” Sarcasm laces his voice. “I guess I need to catch up.”
“Yoon Jae signed another contract? Doing what?”
“He’s going solo. Apparently, they offered him the deal the day after the band released the statement about our breakup. He signed it a week later. He left school about a week ago—it was sort of sudden, I think.”
My brain flashes back to the conversation I had with him the day I introduced him to Jane. Did he know we wouldn’t see each other again? My stomach clenches when I remember Jane talking about him liking me. Did he think he didn’t have a chance, was that why he never said anything about it? Maybe he was going to. Maybe he just got nervous. I’d like to think he at least planned on telling me about his new solo career.
My heart sinks when I realize I won’t see his adorable smile again except on a computer or TV screen. Why didn’t he tell me he was leaving?
Why didn’t he say goodbye?
Jason picks up on my disappointment. “Are you going to miss seeing him?”
“Of course. He was my friend.”
His shoulders tense, but he doesn’t say anything else.
“So what are you going to do now, musicwise?” I ask.