Did she love him? Yes, she thought, without question. Would she ever find anyone better? No, not a chance. Those questions were easy. But if asked from his point of view, the answers were a lot different.
Did he love her? He said he did. Kieran didn’t have a deceptive bone in his body, so he probably believed it, too. But how much of that was because he wanted what his brothers had? She’d learned enough over the past few months to know that all of the brothers had found their wives during some unexpected circumstance, most of which involved the sudden appearance of someone new into their lives.
Maybe that’s what Kieran had been looking for – someone new. Maybe it wasn’t so much her as the fact that she fit the profile of circumstance – a young woman who happened to appear out of nowhere and face some kind of life challenge. Ever the knight, Kieran might see that as a sign. And he wanted to find his croie so badly that maybe the situation blinded him to the grim possibility that she wasn’t it.
The second question was even more difficult. Would he ever find anyone better? The answer was unequivocally yes, and that was a bitter pill to swallow. She could offer him her love and fidelity, but that was about all.
It was a fact she was reminded of every time she took a good hard look around her. There were so many women who would be a better choice for him. Women who had more than their GED. Women who had better than blue collar jobs, who made more than minimum wage cleaning up after the wealthy. Women who weren’t forced to sometimes choose between eating and making the mortgage payment. Women who didn’t have teenage sons to raise as their first priority.
As difficult as they’d been, the last few months had also been some of her happiest. But now she had to face facts, and the biggest one was that Kieran deserved so much better.
And she would never survive the day he woke up and finally realized the same thing.
As if on cue, the oven timer went off. Faith reluctantly slid from his lap, aware of the proof of his arousal as she did so. Another reason she had to end this. He wanted a whole lot more than she could give him.
It wasn’t that she didn’t want to. Lord knew, the man had a way of making every feminine part of her sit up straight and put their hands in the air shamelessly vying for his attention. But despite her feelings for him, despite the powerful feelings of desire he awoke in her, the thought of being intimate with him scared her senseless. The one and only time she’d been with a man had been, at best, uncomfortable, not to mention downright painful and humiliating. While she was fairly certain things would be much different with Kieran, she couldn’t take that chance.
Not to mention that inviting him to her bed was probably not the best way to push away.
Then again, it had worked with Nathan.
Which led inevitably to the next thought: what if she got pregnant again?
Unaware of the inner battles waging between her heart and her head, Kieran was by her side, pulling out shallow bowls, grabbing some silverware and a tub of butter from the fridge. Faith tipped the biscuits into a bowl and covered them with a heavy linen napkin, then ladled them each a bowl, putting significantly more into Kieran’s than hers.
“What do you want to do about that?” Kieran asked, inclining his head toward the envelope. She said a silent prayer of thanks that he hadn’t guessed her thoughts. So many times it seemed like he knew what she was thinking before she could puzzle it out.
Her shoulders sagged. Thinking all of those depressing thoughts about putting distance between her and Kieran had temporarily blocked Nathan’s legal notice from her mind.
“What are my choices?”
“Well,” Kieran said thoughtfully, “I think we should have Shane take a look at the papers.”
Faith nodded. It made sense. Shane was a lawyer, and a damn good one for all that she’d heard. His advice would be welcome, and as much as she hated to ask, there was no way she could afford a legal consultation with someone else.
Kieran made a quick phone call while Faith took a tray up to Matt. Within an hour, Shane and Lacie were in her living room, with Shane pouring over the documents.
“Well?” Kieran finally asked when Shane neatly refolded the papers and put everything back into the larger envelope.
Shane leaned forward, his forearms on his knees. Lacie placed her hand on his shoulder in a silent show of support. “Basically, Faith has two options. She can sign a release refusing the bequeathal, or she can try to claim it.”
“Why would she refuse it?” Kieran asked immediately.