Tears were rolling down her face by the time she finished. She didn’t even think of protesting when Kieran pulled her into his arms.
“Mom? What does it say?”
When Faith didn’t answer, Matt carefully took the letter and read it for himself. Faith didn’t stop him. He was old enough to know.
“He was my grandfather?” he asked quietly. There was none of the anger or hurt in his voice that she would have expected.
“Yes,” she answered, her voice thick.
Matt nodded. “I kind of figured,” he said, surprising her. “And this guy he mentions – Nathan. He’s my dad, isn’t he?”
“Yes.”
“Will you tell me?” Matt asked, pinning Faith with soft gray eyes so like her own. It was a reasonable request, and one long overdue.
She looked at him, at her beautiful son, with his dark coppery hair and velvety gray eyes. Those he had gotten from her, but in everything else, he took after his father. Matt was a big kid, taller and broader than most kids his age. Spending the last couple of months with Kieran only developed him further. The varsity coaches were already chomping at the bit, trying to coax him onto every sports team they had. He was so much like Nathan that way.
“Yes,” she answered.
And so she told him the tale of how a na?ve young girl became involved with an older boy, star-struck and blinded by romantic notions and misinterpretations. She didn’t go into excruciating detail, but she didn’t sugar coat it, either.
As hard as it was to confess her sins in front of her son, it was even harder to try to explain how his father wanted no part of them. Matt listened quietly, his normally expressive face showing interest but not giving away any of his inner feelings. He asked a few questions, which Faith answered honestly and to the best of her ability.
When she had finished, a heavy silence fell over the room. She glanced at Matt, trying to get a read on his feelings, but it was hard to glean anything from his neutral expression. He seemed neither angry nor hurt as she might have expected, but thoughtful, as if he was sorting through it all.
“I need to think about this. I’m going up to my room,” Matt announced suddenly, grabbing his backpack and starting up the stairs.
“Matt - ” Faith called after him, but Kieran gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “Let him go, Faith,” he said quietly. “He needs some time to assimilate this. It’s a lot to take in.”
Faith nodded, knowing it was true, but longing for the time when Matt would have sought comfort in her arms. He was growing up, and it was hard to accept that a hug and a cookie wasn’t enough to ease him anymore. Hadn’t been for a long time, she realized.
Faith sank into the chair and put her head in her hands. “Have you eaten?” Kieran asked softly.
She shook her head. The sun had long since set. The crock pot filled with chicken and vegetables still simmered on low, the tray of fluffy biscuits still waiting for its turn in the oven. Kieran kissed the top of her head and rose. He slid the tray into the oven, then filled the old-fashioned tea kettle with water and set it on the stove.
Before long the kettle whistled and Kieran fixed a cup of tea for her, using the special blend Maggie had prepared and gifted her with weeks earlier. He knew it was her favorite.
She offered him a grateful smile as he placed the mug in front of her. When he sat down and tugged her onto his lap, she didn’t even think of resisting.
Faith leaned back upon this man who had become such an integral part of her life. He believed she was his soul mate. Warmth curled through her, and for the first time, she realized that he was hers as well. She could no longer imagine her life without him in it, nor did she want to.
But no matter how far or fast she ran, she would never escape her past. It would always be there, looming over her like a great shadow. For a little while, she’d managed to fool herself into thinking that she might be able to outrun it by moving away from all that she knew, and, more importantly, from everyone that knew her. By making a fresh start with a new job in a new place with a new home and new friends. Hoping against hope that she could bury her mistakes and let them rest in peace.
As if anything could really be that easy.
She felt the strong, steady beat of Kieran’s heart against her side. God help her, she was so in love with him. But while she might be able to finally admit that to herself, she could never admit it to him. Ever since he told her how he felt about her, her life had become an emotional thrill ride. High one minute from the thought that someone as wonderful as Kieran could care for her as more than a friend, low the next when she remembered that they were from two different worlds.